Chris H's Probable REM Intrusion

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was exhausted and hit the bed intent on getting some sleep.  I hadn't been sleeping well for several years and this night didn't feel to be any different.  I was feeling restless, as usual, so I took Sonata (a mild sedative) to help me get to sleep.  That wasn't unusual for me... I'd take Sonata from two to three nights a week in order to get enough sleep to function.  I quickly drifted off and the next thing I knew, I awoke deep in the night, but something was dead wrong.  I could open my eyes, and move them about to look around the room, but I couldn't move anything else... in fact, I was intensely aware of the fact that I wasn't breathing and that if I didn't take a breath soon, I would die. 

There was a guttural sound in my head that sounded inhuman... a deep rhythmic sound as I tried to speak, to scream, anything to wake my wife.  She was my only hope.  If I could somehow scream, maybe she in turn would wake me up.  I could then take that life giving breath I desperately needed. But alas, I couldn't make a sound.  In my head I was screaming at the top of my lungs, but I was also aware that nothing, not a peep of it was coming out.  Then there was another sound... a voice... at first whispering, then mumbling... just garbled enough that I couldn't quite make out what it was saying.  I strained to hear what was being said, but no matter how hard I tried, I could only catch a word here and there.  Then there was an intense feeling that someone or something other than my wife was in the room, that if I moved my eyes quick enough, I'd see the being lurking in the shadows, but I could never quite catch it fully in my view.  I almost didn't want to see what "it" was... I just knew it would be the most fearsome, loathsome creature I'd ever seen.  I don't know how I knew that, but the feeling of that presence in the room was purely dark... almost palpably evil. 

As a Christian, I just felt that the presence was demonic.  Why, at my moment to leave this world would there be a demon present?  I don't know, but I did have a feeling that somehow, the demonic spirit unleashed in my room was there for a purpose, that it was there for a reason.  Was it the grim reaper himself, come to take me on that last journey in life?  I could only hope that his job was only to end my life and that happier, more pleasant experiences were ahead.  I could feel the sweat rolling off my forehead and down into my ear, could see the ceiling fan turning above me ever so slowly, and I could hear the "being" laughing now, but it sounded strange... like even the laughter was deep toned and in agonizingly slow motion.  Then I felt my vision of our room "snowing" out, like the snow on a bad TV screen.  As the shapes and shadows of the room faded into a psychedelic fashion, I could see the "snow" come together until there was a bright light filling up the room, almost like the light one sees after a flash bulb has gone off directly in your line of sight, but instead of slowly fading from view, the "after image" of light began to grow brighter until I felt as if I was finally enveloped by it.  I still was aware that there was darkness and fear behind me, that the evil being was still in my room... but I was drawn to the bright light and with each step closer to it... (was I stepping of floating?  I'm not sure which)... I felt the fear began to drift far away. 

I was suddenly aware that if I looked back, I might face the terror again, but I couldn't help it.  I looked back and was shocked to see myself lying in bed asleep, next to my wife, with my eyes closed.  Was this all a dream?  No, I told myself, this was more intense than any dream I'd ever had.  I looked carefully at my face below me as my "other self" drifted slowly toward the ceiling above.  Though I felt ten feet away, I could see, even in the dark of our room, that there I was, lying next to my wife... and I wasn't breathing.  I knew somewhere deep inside that it was now or never.  I had to breath or turn around and continue into the bright light above, and I felt torn between the two options.  Then I was aware of something around my neck, choking me... and the desire to take a breath became suddenly intense again, outweighing my desire to explore what lay beyond in the light above. 

Interestingly, I had no thoughts about my wife and how she would take waking up to find me dead the next morning.  It was as if nothing else mattered in the universe except this decision of mine on whether or not to fight for this one breath... for life itself.  Finally, I used every ounce of strength I could muster and drank of the air.  I felt the choking sensation give way as I forced air into my lungs.  I felt myself falling back toward the shell of myself that I'd left behind me on the bed and in another instant, I awoke... drenched in sweat, and with a start, I sat straight up in bed.  I quickly scanned around the room, looking for the evil spirit being I'd felt present in the room earlier.  I was terrified.  Then I looked at my wife sleeping peacefully next to me.  I was a bit angry at her for not hearing my screams for help, but then I remembered that she'd not heard me make a sound. 

For days I went to work and came back home, pondering what had happened to me.  I had heard of incubus dreams where people felt an evil presence in the room, had felt the presence of alien beings, or even seen demonic ones, and I'd always attributed those reports to active imaginations or outright story telling before my own experience occurred.  It wasn't long after that event that my father was diagnosed with sleep apnea and since I had many of the same features of it, I got tested and sure enough, I had a bad case of obstructive sleep apnea.  I got to researching it very carefully and discovered that my experience above is not as unique as I thought it was.  People with sleep apnea often have "dreams" with sensations of a "presence" in the room, out of body experiences, and wake paralysis, much of it just like my experiences.  I'd had many other strange experiences before getting diagnosed with sleep apnea and getting treated for it.  Since I've started using my CPAP mask, I've not had any more terrifying experiences like the one above.  I've come to believe that during long spells of apnea (failure to breath), NDEs are experienced.  Hence, I felt that my story might be helpful in the quest to understand NDEs.  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share what is difficult to explain to friends and relatives.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     As a professional with a high level of skepticism, it is hard for me to explain the experience which had high levels of the bizarre.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I don't know how close to death I was, but this and other experiences like them led me to seek help for my sleep apnea.  I became so afraid of sleeping that I developed chronic insomnia and it was affecting my work as a doctor of medicine.  I know from reading about sleep apnea that persons are close to death and that occasionally real death occurs.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I felt alive and awake through the whole experience.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I felt alive and awake through the whole experience.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     as above in my explanation of my experience, I felt the room get very bright and vivid.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            Yes     See above.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Great fear mostly

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     The light felt like a tunnel

Did you see a light?           Yes     As above.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     Felt an evil presence in the room prior to experiencing the light

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     The sensation of things moving in extreme slow motion

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I felt a definite brush with the spirit world

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I tried to share with my wife the next morning, but she didn't seem interested, so I dropped it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes    

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I honestly believed that I was as close to death as I've ever been in my life, and that the experience was as real as anything else in my life.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The fear of the "being" in the room was so intense that I was literally afraid to get out of bed to go to the bathroom afterward.  I refused to return to sleep and waited all night wide awake.  My only consolation was the fact that my NDE(?) went on to something better and brighter... I had a feeling that had I continued on, I would have had a much more pleasant experience.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was probably not real            I now wonder if the brain doesn't "create" such experiences to frighten us out of apnea and force us to breath again, or as in the case of pleasant NDEs, "creates" positive events to ease our passing from this world into the next.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I'm careful to try and spend more quality and quantity time with my family and those who matter to me most.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            No           

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No                

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes