Catherine D's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:           

I did not see myself getting out of my body nor floating above it, I just remember going into a wide and long tunnel, like entering a train tunnel. At the beginning there was still earthly light, then I entered darkness which was not complete event if it was getting denser and denser, and it filled the whole arch, darkness was indeed not black but rather dark grey and thick in its outlines, dense, in the center the void was clear.  

At the end of this tunnel, I saw this beautiful, extremely attractive light, and to which I came closer very fast. It is very hard to describe this light. The light I saw does not exist on Earth. I would say LIGHT AND EVEN SHADOW might ( ?) look like what nuclear physics can produce: light is made of small ultra bright dots, hyper mobiles and DENSE, energy. Colors are very, very vivid, clear, as if PURE, and each light dot that makes up the light seems to be individual, but it participates to the whole that constitutes the light, and it seems to contain the whole color prism. As for the field of view, it encompasses all.  

When I arrived where I could not go forward (I was at the end of the tunnel, on one side there was the light  but I was still in darkness), this is when I heard God’s voice who talked to me, HIS VOICE stopped me. His voice has an ACTING energy power. While He was talking to me, I did feel I could not move anymore, although I very much wanted to reach the light. My consciousness was clear, kind of acute, this is an hyper consciousness, ultra clear. Everything that has been told to me has been perceived and understood as being the TRUTH. This consciousness ENCOMPASSES ALL, just all. This is INSTANT consciousness. It is also different in the sense that communication is also realized through telepathy.  

His presence (God’s) was not a visual one, although I could have precisely said where He was, somewhat hidden in the shadow. His presence could be perceived through the energy mass I felt flowing out of Him and the place He was.  

He was God, no need to introduce Himself: Not only does he communicates orally but also through telepathy, by placing TRUTHS in our mind. The fact that He was God was one of these truths he placed in my spirit. 

As for what has been expressed or transmitted, I would say that in the beginning what He communicated to me was His dissatisfaction: what He printed in me was what He felt HIMSELF, and it was dissatisfaction. Afterwards, when I wanted to reply, He printed in me His firm but full of love authority, then He talked to me saying it was too early, that I could not enter the light and I had to go back because, “I had something to do on Earth” He did not mention anything of what was expected from me. 

This was (when He talked to me) the most intense moment of my experience (God could read my thoughts), it is thus then that I had the highest level of consciousness and alertness. God’s voice was very clear, I could therefore clearly identify the source. His voice was low and deep, as if it filled all, even myself inside. At the same time, His voice was quiet, pondered and acute, but full of authority and love. I say authority because at the time when I wanted to speak, I felt that  HIS VOICE PREVENTED me to do so: He read in my mind and answered the questions I had in my head. 

After talking, things went very, very, very fast: I came back into my body at high speed, faster than when coming out, I don’t know how much time later I awakened from coma with the feeling I had come back from the most beautiful journey you could do in a lifetime.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The force and intensity of what is felt, the supreme beauty and this unconditional love concept, there exist no word to describe the experience because nothing of all this exists on earth, neither in beauty, nor in force or anything, nothing compares to it.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was in a coma.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    At the time when I arrived where I could not move forward (I was at the end of the tunnel, on one side there was the light  but I was still in darkness), this is when I heard God’s voice who talked to me, HIS VOICE stopped me. His voice has an ACTING energy power. While He was talking to me, I did feel I could not move anymore, although I very much wanted to reach the light. This was (when He talked to me) the most intense moment during my experience (God could read my thoughts). Thus this is when I had the highest level of consciousness and alertness.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            At the time when I arrived where I could not move forward (I was at the end of the tunnel, on one side there was the light  but I was still in darkness), this is when I heard God’s voice who talked to me, HIS VOICE stopped me. His voice has an ACTING energy power. While He was talking to me, I did feel I could not move anymore, although I very much wanted to reach the light. This was (when He talked to me) the most intense moment during my experience (God could read my thoughts). Thus this is when I had the highest level of consciousness and alertness.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     It is very hard to describe this. The light I saw does not exist on Earth. I would say LIGHT AND EVEN SHADOW might ( ?) look like what nuclear physics can produce: light is made of small ultra bright dots, hyper mobiles and DENSE, energy. Colors are very, very vivid, clear, as if PURE, and each light dot that makes up the light seems to be individual, but it participates to the whole that constitutes the light, and it seems to contain the whole color prism. As for the field of view, it encompasses all.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     The voice was very clear, I could therefore clearly identify the source. His voice was low and deep, as if it filled all, even myself inside. At the same time, His voice was quiet, pondered and acute, but full of authority and love. I say authority because at the time when I wanted to speak, I felt that  HIS VOICE PREVENTED me to do so: He read in my mind and answered the questions I had in my head.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Extremely intense joy and happiness, airy BUT COMPLETE, WHICH ENGULFS ALL. A LOVE just as COMPLETE. And frustration when I had to come back.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     It was as if I was going into a wide and long tunnel, like entering a train tunnel. At the beginning there was still earthly light, then I entered darkness which was not complete event if it was getting denser and denser, and it filled the whole arch, darkness was indeed not black but rather dark grey and thick in its outlines, dense, in the center the void was clear.

Did you see a light?           Yes     It is very hard to describe this light. The light I saw does not exist on Earth. I would say LIGHT AND EVEN SHADOW might ( ?) look like what nuclear physics can produce: light is made of small ultra bright dots, hyper mobiles and DENSE, energy. Colors are very, very vivid, clear, as if PURE, and each light dot that makes up the light seems to be individual, but it participates to the whole that constitutes the light, and it seems to contain the whole color prism.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I met with God (I did not see Him but He came to me or He rather seemed to be waiting for me, there at the limit where I could go, i.e. before entering the big light very next to me, I could almost touch this light. His presence was not a visual one, although I could have precisely said where He was, somewhat hidden in the shadow. His presence could be perceived through the energy mass I felt flowing out of Him and the place He was.  

He was God, no need to introduce Himself: Not only does he communicates orally but also through telepathy, by placing TRUTHS in our mind. The fact that He was God was one of these truths he placed in my spirit. 

As for what has been expressed or transmitted, I would say that in the beginning what He communicated to me was His dissatisfaction: what He printed in me was what He felt HIMSELF, and it was dissatisfaction. Afterwards, when I wanted to reply, He printed in me His firm but full of love authority, then He talked to me saying it was too early, that I could not enter the light and I had to go back because, “I had something to do on Earth” He did not mention anything of what was expected from me.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      I do not recall seeing past events in my life (I was 14). But for sure, I came back with obvious views and gifts: my faith became unshakable once for all and without any possible appeal, I believe in a God who is unique, UNIVERSAL, FULL OF LOVE and goodness. As for gifts, I came back as a psychic: I can see people’s past, future and present, and I can also feel the presence of invisible spiritual beings, I relate to the spiritual too.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     I had two NDEs during my life, one when I was 14, a second one when I was 22, the BACKGROUND message is the SAME: it’s a message of love and hope about God’s existence and His unconditional love, as well as the existence of higher (and lower) spiritual worlds.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      Well, here I am unsure since the beginning (because this memory seemed to come AFTERWARDS to me), this is the only part of the experience where I am not 400% sure of what I saw, because I don’t know how during the experience I could have come into that place, nor when. Indeed, it looks like a vague memory: I feel like I was in a place of light at a given moment, there everything was white-yellow colored, clear and sparkling (once again the purity of this color does not exist in on Earth), in that place of light which was not part of the tunnel, there was sparkling yellow fountains from which flowed a liquid that seemed thicker than water, and yellow colored itself (somewhat like melted gold, a bit brighter)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     There is no time as you see it here (here it is short), time exists but in another dimension (bigger and longer and I would also say that it depends on the locations where you are). You also have the feeling that space seems to be unending (you feel that there are other dimensions behind each dimension) And also: in space, you “float”.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I got confirmation of the universal ALL and divine love (visible AND invisible universe) where everything interacts (visible and invisible, good and evil) for a defined goal: reach spiritual perfection and KNOWLEDGE through the various spiritual levels and spaces (visible AND invisible, dark and bright etc. ) according to an established hierarchy (power hierarchy exists) in which God is the supreme authority, energy, knowledge and expression. 

2. God is love and goodness

3. The aim of our life is to evolve to reach perfection

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     I did not go through this limit because it WAS IMPOSSIBLE to go through it (I wanted to do it and it was as if something invisible held me back. It was related to His voice – His voice has the ability to apply His will, it has an ACTING power – and to the fact that He read my thoughts and intentions).  

Yet, if I had crossed the imposed limit (and I don’t see how I could have done this without His consent, unless I had charged the responsibility of my actions unto freewill,) I believe that the consequences (for wanting to enter too early where I couldn’t) would have been to REGRESS in my evolution or, anyway, not to reach and receive all the GOOD that awaits me when time has come.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I came back with the ability to see he past, the future and the present of familiar or unknown people, under the form of flashes or just using a medium (tarot). Very rarely, people who are “passing” come to me when they depart or after they have gone. Sometime,  I can also feel the presence of invisible spiritual beings (contact with angels) , and very seldom I lightly rise my energy level, I reach other spheres (these are earthly ones but invisible and slightly higher). ALL THESE ABILITIES DEPEND ON THE QUALITY OF MY UNIVERSAL LOVE LEVEL AND OF MY OWN ENERGY STATES. 

I also think that I received the ability to feel COMPASSION. I believe I did not have it before.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     No later than the day after I awakened from coma, because I was in a state of immense joy, still basking into this extraordinary love. I told it to my parents and to the doctors, these sent me to a psychiatrist in order to check my psychological state and my mental health. Then, right when the questions started, I understood that I had to stop talking because they are totally closed to anything they don’t see, they believe that you say tales or you are insane, but first of all, I just had tried to kill myself, so I only tell it to people who are sensitive to the spiritual.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I had no doubt because no doubt was possible, everything was there in my memory, very present and for a very long time after I awakened from coma, I still felt  very deeply all the blessings of this experience (joy, love, calm, serenity, beauty…). These blessings directly ACTED in my life and in me, I’ve not been the same since then.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The WHOLE experience is significant and entails one of the most important value, but should I have to point one part out, it would be the message of love and hope that results from it, as well as an increased knowledge of our existence goal and the infinite size of our UNIVERSE.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I am still “connected” to the spiritual and to the spiritual spheres (visible and invisible).

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     Although I am very companionable, I became more lonely and secretive, i.e. I care less for superficial and frantic relations and activities, I rather care for understanding and knowledge about our world and parallel or invisible worlds.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     Now I pray inwardly, no more by going to church according to rules set and transmitted by the religion. I also know that some Christian “duties” just came from the way man wanted to interprets scriptures, therefore certain things considered as sin are not really sin, for instance faithfulness; God does not request from us that we be faithful, He wishes we love each other because love is HIS energy and by loving each other we feed His energy. I also pray for the world and not just for my relatives anymore. I also added some Wicca practices, using the elements and energies you pull from it, I never did this before.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     I had 2 NDEs in my life: one when I was 14, as it is the first one I chose it for this questionnaire, but I also had one when I was 22.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        1. I am eager to go back up there.

2. A frustration feeling remains with me because I have been told that I had something to do during this lifetime, and I’ve not been told what it was, 26 years later I still don’t know what is expected from me! It is terribly frustrating, I feel like a blind man who has been requested to find a gem in a wood and who desperately searches for it: I have been requested to do something, I want to do it and I see time going by with the feeling that I walked next to that gem and I did not see it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     To be completely accurate our vocabulary should have included words able to express all I saw, heard and felt during this experience, but I hope I have been as accurate as possible.

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   Yes, only one: particularly ask in your questionnaire if people who had a NDE had “some things withdrawn”. For instance: I came back with ESP powers but I also lost some abilities!!