Cara's NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

            After a craniotomy, the body clinically hovered between life and death for two days. My spirit left the body at that time. I looked down at the body, and although it wasn't a pretty sight, I was not concerned. I perceived it to be a vehicle, which carried me through the earth school. I was in a place of love, kindness, compassion, contentment, acceptance, joy...a place of "knowing". I perceived myself and other beings as masses of energy...all connected and yet separate. There were no body forms, or communication as I know it in human form.

There was simply a sense of all knowing. Each and every spirit being was supportive of each other, and I "knew" them, although they didn't have the same forms as when I knew them on the earth school. There were no limitations such as space or time in the spirit world. I was aware of the big picture regarding the past, present and future. I was aware that the earth school experience was one part of my evolution. There was a review of my life in this body, and also my past lives. I was the judge as to the benefit and value of each experience. They all seemed very interconnected, and yet separate. There was a focus to each life experience, and all the experiences contributed to an end result. I didn't want to come back to the earth school, and after some deliberation with the other beings of energy, including the God being, or large mass of energy, we decided that coming back would serve the greater good. I had a choice, and yet the choice seemed to be made in unity with the other beings. I also knew that if I didn't come back at this time, in this body, I would return to the earth school in another body, to finish what I was here to do. Before the experience, I didn't believe or disbelieve in reincarnation. Now I am sure that I have had many reincarnations. When I came back into the body, I was content. It felt like my spirit was cuddling back into a warm comfortable place. At that time, the body clinically stabilized. First, I was not expected to live. When I lived, my family and I were told that I would never function "normally" again.

I don't function "normally" according to conventional wisdom! I have lived life as an observant adventurer, and although I have always been on a path of discovery, the out of body experience intensified and reinforced all of my beliefs prior to the experience. It opened up more channels in the heart and mind. As with a radio. If we leave it on the same channel all the time, we will probably hear the same type of music, and the same slant on news casts all the time. If we change the channel occasionally, we may hear something different:>)Although I shared my Near Death Experience with 100's of people in classes at the Univ. of Vermont, this is the first time I've connected with the Near Death Experience web site, and just learned something interesting. Dr. Melvin Morse states the there is a "God Spot" in the right temporal lobe, which "acts as a transmitter and receiver of the universal mind...we can actually learn to stimulate this part of our brains in a number of ways besides near death or active dying". My injury was to the right temporal lobe. Perhaps it was "stimulated" rather than damaged...interesting:>)

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The experience was beyond my beliefs at the time. I do not have the words in the English language to adequately describe the experience. I equate it to witnessing an event or ritual in another culture/language, and coming back to my culture/language and try to describe what I experienced.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Fractured skull, severed artery causing bleeding on the brain.

I had also been diagnosed with cancer.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was at the highest level of consciousness and alertness when I was out of the body in the spirit world. Even when I returned to the body, and the human form was still unconscious, I was at a higher level of consciousness than in a "normal" human conscious state.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I was at the highest level of consciousness and alertness when I was out of the body in the spirit world. Even when I returned to the body, and the human form was still unconscious, I was at a higher level of consciousness than in a "normal" human conscious state.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Regarding questions 6, 7, and 8:

During the OBE in the spirit world, there were no limitations, judgments, or comparisons of any kind. Everything was definitely different, expanded, and not "normal" according to conventional human wisdom. But...it was so much more "normal" on another plane, I feel more "at home" there, then I do here.

I have often felt like I'm in a foreign land on this school.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     As I stated previously, everything was more expanded, more clear. I didn't have "hearing", or "vision" as I know it here. There was a sense of all knowing without limitations. The way we (humans) "normally" see and hear on this earth school is limiting.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Everything and nothing. I didn't "feel" the same way I "feel" as a human. Our feelings, as humans, are sometimes limited to what we know on this plane. There were expanded "feelings" that I cannot even begin to describe.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No       Regarding questions 13 and 14:

We can only choose one on this form. That is limiting:>)

I felt peace, pleasantness, relief, calm, joy, happiness and much, much more:>)

Did you see a light?           Yes     I saw a light, but not as we know it in human form. Again, our perception of light is limited to what we know on this earth school.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     There were many beings. We communicated by ESP. I use that term because it's the closest I can come to the type of communication I experienced. To say "where they were" would be limiting. They were everywhere and nowhere.

I recognized the beings, and they were all supportive of my journey both in the spirit world and earth school.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     Regarding #20:

Definitely did not "see" any religious figures...didn't want to!

The spirit beings were definitely not "deceased". They were very much alive, and in another form. The spirit who was my mother in this lifetime, who passed over from human form about a year before my NDE, was present. She has been a spirit guide for me in many incarnations, and has accompanied me in physical form as well.

Regarding #21:

I experienced a review of all past lives.

I became more content and accepting of this life experience. I have dabbled in many different activities throughout this life time, including several different careers, several different sport activities on competitive levels,

extensive travel to remote areas, performing arts, etc. Sometimes, I felt like I wasn't focused enough to stick with one interest. With the review of my life experiences, I learned that all the activities were/are all interconnected, and served a valuable learning opportunity.

Regarding #22: Reviewing my past lives was an incredible, educational, experience, which I had the choice to view or not. I was very much in control of everything that happened in the NDE. I believe the feeling of control came from my willingness to be open to the process.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     During the OBE, I was also aware of what was happening in the ICU room where my body was. As I said before, there was a sense of all knowing and an expanded awareness of all that is.

When I was able, I visited the ICU and the people who cared for me when the body resided there. The director of ICU showed me the room I was in. It was empty and set up differently than when I was there. When I was in the room, the bed was moved to accommodate the machines and instruments that were brought in to keep me alive in the two days the body hovered between life and death. The director was surprised when I told him how the room was set up. I was unconscious...how did I know that? I saw it from above:>)

I also got copies of my medical records because I wanted to see what was happening clinically with the body at certain times. That's how I knew the body was between life and death for two days. The body would stabilize, then decline, then stabilize again...etc. etc. At the same time (although there is no time limit in the spirit world) I was deciding whether or not I wanted to come back. At first I wanted to leave the body and stay in the spirit world. As I said, there were negotiations with the other spirit beings, and I decided, with their support and encouragement to come back to this body.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     Definitely another dimension, for which there is no description in human language...at least English:>)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Regarding #25:

The space I was in was very familiar, and didn't seem strange at all. It seemed more "normal" than the earth school...more like home:>)

Regarding #26:

It was "altered" only in the sense that there were no boundaries or limitations of time or space...difficult to describe.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I had a sense of all knowing...a knowledge of the past, present and future...the big picture...universal order and purpose.

I know that everything is very well choreographed. Nothing is by chance. There are no coincidences. Although everything is well planned, we have a choice as to how we use the information. Everyone whose path we cross, for example, crosses our path for a reason. We have the choice to disregard the individual and the experience, and we have the choice to be open to the possibilities offered with the interaction. We have the choice to live every moment being aware and totally in the moment, or we can choose not to be totally in the moment, which a lot of folks do in our society.

When I regained consciousness, after the injury and NDE, I received hundreds of cards, letter, notes, etc. Many of them stated: "you probably don't remember me, but five years ago, you said something to me and it changed my life...or 10 years ago you did this for me and it changed my life". I wasn't doing anything special for these folks. I was simply being kind, and being in the moment with them...saying or doing something they needed at the time. I was reminded that EVERYTHING we say and do has an impact. EVERY moment is important. I have always remembered why I am here, and followed through on the mission to the best of my ability at any given time.

Re: #30:

Although it was not a sudden understanding, the NDE solidified what was in my heart from the moment I came to this earth school this time. I learned more about myself, others and the universe. You have limited us again by only allowing one choice on this form.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No       Re: #32: No limitations what so ever in my NDE and/or OBE

Re: #33: There was a decision to "return" to the earth school.

I cannot say there was a "conscious decision to return to life", because the other state of being is "life" too...on a much grander scale:>)

I did not experience any "point of no return".

As spirit beings, we can decide at any time where we want to be.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            The awareness was/is very accurate. I do not retain all the information I experienced in the OBE. The human body/mind cannot contain the energy level needed to experience what we experience in the spirit state of being. The spirit state is at a higher energy level. It is as with electricity. A receptor for 110 volts will not accept 220 volts. We can, however, transcend human limitations by raising our energy level. As with electricity...we can get an adapter!!!:>) My interpretation of this concept is to knowingly allow a higher energy to flow through us. Again...as with electricity...if a human is shocked by electricity, which is not allowed to flow through, the body will probably be injured or die. However, humans can get shocked with electricity, and if it can flow through the body, they may not be injured. While working in a dentists office taking e-rays years ago, I was shocked with 220 volts of electricity. However, I had one hand on the head of the machine, and one hand on the body of the machine, so the energy flowed through, and although my arms felt different, there were no ill effects.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     To me everything is psychic, paranormal and special:>)

I did have another interesting experience where I definitely left the body.

I was dating a divorced man who had three teenage children. He and the 14yo girl were constantly battling. One evening, when I was frustrated with trying to mediate the situation on the spot, I left their house...saying "I can't do anything here". I went home, and went right to bed, even though it was only about 7:00 pm, I went directly to sleep. At about 10:00 (I checked later) the phone rang, and although I was still asleep, I felt like I slammed back into my bed. The man was in tears, and said he had just had the most loving insightful conversation with his daughter they ever had. And he thanked me for being with them. I knew I was in their space bringing the energy of love to the situation. When I came home and went to bed and to sleep, I was not conscious of what I was doing on a human level, but I was aware on a higher consciousness that I could do something on another level.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     As I recall, it was about 2 years before I started sharing my experience. At first, I was confused by it, and skeptical, because it was something that was beyond my beliefs at that time. Because I sustained a brain injury, I thought for awhile I was just "not normal", which was the prognosis. A friend had a friend who was a sociology professor at the Univ. of Vermont, who was writing a book on the mind/body healing process, and was interested in speaking with me. (The healing process for me was very quick, considering the severity of the injury). We got together...he invited me to speak in his class...one of his associates invited me to speak in her class...etc. etc. I guest lectured at the Univ. for about 8 years. Reactions from students differed, of course. They were usually very accepting and open to a dialogue. I didn't "lecture", but rather, told a little of the basics of my story, and encouraged them to ask questions, or express their thoughts/feelings about the topic. We usually got into a great discussion. I also usually started the class by stating that I am simply sharing my experience and not trying to change anyone's beliefs. The feedback from the students was very good. They often said they were influenced in a positive way. The only thing I encouraged, was opening their hearts and minds to the idea. If we open our hearts to anything and everything, we KNOW our truth.

I've shared the experience with many friends. Primarily, I spoke about many different aspects of the experience in the Sociology classes at UVM called Death, Dying and Bereavement. The class uses the text by the same name, written by Michael R. Leming & George E. Dickinson.

Interestingly enough, the reason I checked into this web site for the first time, is because a friend is now questioning me about the experience. He wants to know what "evidence" I have to corroborate my story. How do I "KNOW" this really happened and is not just my imagination? Well, I told him my passport has been stamped by the spirits:>) And...I went on-line to see what, if any "evidence" I can point him to.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    The experience was always "real" to me (maybe more real than the earth school experience at times) but in the beginning, I was hesitant to mention it to anyone because I didn't want to reinforce the idea that I might be abnormal because of the brain injury. The first couple times I spoke at the Univ., I envisioned being blasted with rotten fruit for having such a silly idea...just kidding:>)The more I became comfortable with the experience and myself, the less I worry about what people are going to think of me or my ideas:>)

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            EVERYTHING was and is meaningful. I stopped guest lecturing at the Univ. several years ago because I was bored with the story...it was old news after awhile! But today, as I write about it and revisit it again, new information comes to me, and it becomes meaningful and significant in a different way:>)

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            See above

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am more clear about what I want in relationships. I no longer have the patience for complainers, or shallow conversations. My philosophies of life are "be what you want to see" and "if we're not part of the solution, we're part of the problem". I am very engaged in my life experiences and with the people around me.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            No            I abandoned the Catholic religion many years before the NDE. As a child, I questioned many of the concepts that the Catholic church teaches. However, as a good Irish Catholic girl, I continued to go to church as directed by my parents. When I moved out of the house, I didn't go to church on Sunday, and spent the day waiting for the bolt of lightening that was going to strike me dead! Well, I made it through that Sunday, and every Sunday since:>)

After the NDE, I explored several different religions. Because of the NDE, I was trying to find out where I "belonged" on this earth school. I do not practice any religious dogma on a regular basis. When visiting other countries, I love participating in religious ceremonies, I sing in the local United church choir when invited, etc.

I am content with the realization that I am part of everything...and nothing:>)

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       Don't take meds or any substances for the purpose of enhancing the earth school experience. If drugged, I might miss something:>)

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        It was a gift:>)

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     Some of it.

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   For the questions with choices, allow the writer to choose more than one.