EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I was 4 1/2 years old. My brother and I were playing cops and
robbers with the two little neighbor girls. There was a garage between our
houses. In it was an abandoned refrigerator so we decided to use it as the
jail. We took turns being the robber and would let the kid out in just a few
minutes. But when I was a robber the kids left me in an extra amount of time.
Then their mother called them in for a snack. I was curled up in the bottom of
the refrigerator and I remember there were two racks above me. I tried to get
out and call and no one came. Then I looked up and I thought the little light
up above came on (the refrigerator was not plugged in so there actually was no
light). It was very tiny and then I felt myself leaving my body, going up
through the grates, and into the light. I was being pulled up through a tunnel
that opened into the most beautiful white light that I could ever describe.
When I was fully into
the light I realized it was the most incredibly beautiful light that I had ever
seen. It seemed to have a personality that was beyond belief loving. I was
happy just being in the light. I remember then that I heard a voice that I
thought was the light that surrounded me. Without having a body some how I
talked to the voice. I was shown that the white light was really made up of all
the colors. I was shown the zillions of colors in the light, more than I have
seen on earth. They were all beautiful. I don't remember the exact words, but
I do remember discussing that all things were made of the light. I asked if
even mountains, and people, and the voice (which I now think was God) told me
even mountains, and a long list of things, everything. He also told me that the
people there were in the light. I don't remember much about that except that I
was aware that people were about to come to take me into some beautiful place
and I wanted to go.
But the voice/light/God
said do you want to stay? I said "yes". But then I was told that I had to go
back. I was told that my mother needed me and I saw something like my mom
standing by a crib. (I didn't know it, but my mother was pregnant with another
brother and I did help watch my other brother when the baby was born). I
learned that there were things I would be needed to do in the future and that
sometimes I would just need to be there even if I had no specific task to
perform.
Suddenly I was going
back through the tunnel and the two racks and was back into my curled up body.
I could hear calling from far away. It was the terrified mother of my friends
who had just learned that they had left me in the refrigerator. When the opened
the door I got out.
But I was different. I
was not yet 5 but I had the belief that all people are connected, and that
nature was also connected. My dad didn't want me to tell anybody about the light
and the voice. I had never heard of God or death, but when I told my mom she
said she believed it was God. We didn't talk about it anymore but I became
interested in learning about God when I was free to do so (first when I was 6
and allowed to go to a Vacation Bible School) and later when I was older and had
a chance to go to church one day with a friend. I didn't know it was a near
death experience until I heard someone talk about "the tunnel and the light"
when I was about 35 years old. As a little child I thought of it as a special
trip into some kind of fairy land and wished I could find a way back.
I
was going to be a math professor, but I noticed that I seemed to be filled with
empathy and compassion and decided to become a rehabilitation counselor
instead. I helped school age and then college students who had physical,
mental, or emotional disabilities. I was very successful in my career and have
just recently retired. I had a sense that reaching out to the disabled was what
God had told me I was to do when I was in the light and that I was given insight
and knowledge to be able to do it effectively.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes After I went through the tunnel and into the light I was in the most
loving and beautiful light. When I left my body I no longer I also left most
things that identify me as a name, race, age, sex, etc. Yet I still knew
myself. I entered into inconceivable love, wisdom, beauty, joy. Although I
didn't have "ears" I was "told" things and could "see" the light. I have never
seen a light as beautiful.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I was locked in an abandoned refrigerator. I don't know how long. I
just know that the other children went and got popsicles and I couldn't get out.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
while in the light
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
while in the light
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes many more colors
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Uncertain
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
loved, joy, peace, no fear
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes I heard some kind of sound and at first it was painful, just a second.
Then I was whisked up into the light.
Did
you see a light?
Yes It was the most beautiful light as I described above. The light was
whiter than our light. It was beautiful and had a personality of love. The
light for awhile became all colors, many more than I have seen on earth. It was
too wonderful for me to describe. It surrounded me.
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Uncertain No, but if I stayed longer I was going to see people that I
thought were related to me.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No Yes, I learned that if you take away a person's race, age, sex, looks,
they are still the person. I search for that person when I am counseling. I am
able to love more because I "see" beyond appearance.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes I was told that I needed to help my mother and saw her standing by a
crib. This happened in about July and my baby brother was born in December.
Mom had lost a previous baby. I was only 5 by then but I helped with my 3
year-old brother. I think if I had died it would have been terrible for her if
she had lost me after losing a baby the year before.
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes My parents had not been able to complete even high school and didn't
have much scientific knowledge. It was 1947 and I'm not sure that at that time
anyone knew that all colors are in the color white??? And did they know that all
things in the universe come from the same source, light or the same materials?
I also learned that you can have a purpose in life that is beyond your tasks or
accomplishments.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
Yes
I described knowing my mom would have a baby.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes When I was little I would have feelings that something was about to
happen and then it would. Maybe just something simple as the phone about to
ring. Or I seemed to understand people's emotions or needs far beyond the
ability of children my age. Sometimes it was about something that I wished I
could stop, like on Sept 11th I was in Pennsylvania. I looked up and saw a
plane flying low and had a huge emotion of grief, fear, and anger all at once.
That was the plane that had the terrorists that crashed just minutes later.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I told my mom right after but then my dad didn't want me to talk about
it. He didn't want me to be "religious" because that would make me different, or
maybe they were afraid someone would get in trouble for having the refrigerator
in the garage. I think the next time might have been when I told my husband.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I thought I had been in some kind of fairy
story world. I didn't know it was about death because I didn't know what death
was. But yet I must have unconsciously known because I rode my tricycle down
the steep basement stairs thinking it would somehow get me back into the light!
My poor mother!
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The
love of the light is beyond any love I have experienced or been able to give to
others.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was probably real They now explain it by other parts of
the brain. I hope it was real because it would be a comfort now that I'm older
and facing death someday. If it isn't real I'm not sure how I learned about the
colors and all things in the universe coming from an original light when I was
technically not breathing. It was decades later that I learned this was also
scientifically believed.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
explained this above. Yes, I see people outside of their boundaries of age,
sex, color, etc.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
came from a non-religious background and sought after the light. I found the
Bible and in the book of John it said "In the beginning was the Word, and the
Word was with God and the Word was God." Other versus said Jesus was the
light. Genesis described the light as the beginning. So I became a believer
and see God as the source and love as the power.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I
thank you for this chance to talk about this. People I know don't want to
discuss it because it is about death, or they think it is too mystical or just
nutty. But I know I am better because of the experience, think deeper, and have
done more with my life because of it.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes except I just don't know how to describe the love in the light.
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
Thank you for the opportunity. As for the current religious choices, I found it
hard to choose among the three. It would have been easier to choose between
"strong faith, moderate, etc." For the before experience, there was no place
to check "no religion".
