Angela J's NDE & Meditation

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

1st experience. I looked up and thought to myself that I was sure that I had turned the light off, when I had gone to be. I thought the light was coming closer to me and then thought I was dreaming. I looked down and saw myself and the sunshine through the window and realized I was not moving. I struggled inside me to move but could not until I heard this gasping sound which accompanied my arms moving and I opened my eyes and I could still hear this gasping when I realized it was the rush of air into my lungs. I was so terrified and utterly exhausted. I was surprised to find myself on the floor and lay down on the bed and slept.  

2nd experience. I was meditating and looking at my eyelids thinking that my breathing was gentle and rhythmic when this pool of purple light opened up in my head. I instantly opened my eyes terrified. The next day the same thing happened. After a few days the purple disappeared and was replaced by the white gold light. Where the light has been surrounded by an irregular shape I could now see that the edges were like a tear and over time the straggly bits shrank and formed a sort of wall.  When the shape was perfectly round I have this rushing experience where I was rushing down this tunnel till I came to the bright white light. This light is still with me. Over the last 21 years. It has not changed but my experiences have. Recently I decided to study and my grades in IT and Business and are very high, when I am not doing much to achieve this.  

Since these experiences my life experiences have changed. My periods stopped not much longer after this last experience and the doctors recently advise that my hormone levels are still normal.  

I have had out of body experiences where I can see the outline of a body coming out of my own, and can hear my voice which is much lighter and comes from the heart area. I hear a buzzing sound in ears before this experience.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain      The first time was terrifying but the second time it turned my whole life upside down. I see differently.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I stopped breathing for about 2 minutes and while still going towards the light I figured out how to get breathing and for about an hour I consciously breathed until I started to breathe automatically. I was on my own at the time.

The second time I relaxed into the experience and came out of it a different person.

I have nearly died a couple of times since then but have been in hospital as I learnt how to recognize the signs of anaphylaxis

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    All the time I am highly conscious. After I accepted what happens I visually take much more notice and look around and absorb what I am looking at.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            All the time I am highly conscious. After I accepted what happens I visually take much more notice and look around and absorb what I am looking at.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     with eyes shut I see differently. Not like seeing with physical eyes, It is as though the brain is the eye. But now color in normal life impacts on me differently. I can almost breather color, or my eyes can feel color. If I am sitting next to someone I know well I can "feel" it when they fall asleep. My perceptions have changed in normal life.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      There is no sound. I seem to be cocooned from sound. Does not seem relevant. However when I first had this experience I heard a clicking sound when I finally got back into my body. Just at the back of my neck.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Serenity, overwhelming attraction to light like a magnetic tug at my being inside. The nearest I can think of is when one is just falling asleep after a long bracing walk, and one is warm and cozy but a deep profound knowing oneness with a power.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes    

Did you see a light?           Yes    

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      not at the time. However in my normal life I appear to have spent 20+ yrs seeing my actions reflected in other people's lives. Recently this has slowed and I now appear to be seeing others lives in terms of their development and the parallels to my life before the last experience that I had.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      during the following periods after the initial opening of the light I noticed what seemed to be clouds floating from me outwards and upwards to the light. After a couple of years of this during closed eye meditation these clouds began to stick together and form a crystalline structure. When my eyes are shut and I am deep in meditation I can move around in this structure as it is growing. I approached doctors about this thinking I had schizophrenia or something else and was reassured that I was perfectly sane. I have read a lot since and have a library at home. I have given up trying to find answers.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     timeless, eternity, no time. I often feel that my life has been lived in one second and it is taking me years to realize just this one second. So my life is just a realization. My life took one second to live and a lifetime to realize.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     Not knowledge. Definitely a purpose that I cannot work out, but watch it unfold. I have no idea. I do know that I work intuitively and can do things now that I don't understand. I just do. Some of my friends say I am a bit scary.. in that respect.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     Tunnel is a boundary and the light is the end. But there is a place underneath or through the light, that one can see. Almost like being inside a single binocular and seeing through, but inside another dimension

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            Afterwards, yes. I have seen major world events before they happen.  I did keep a log book and diary, but this aspect is not important to me now. I am aware that others are now having similar experiences.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Increased empathy. Ability to achieve or do anything I want. Have dreamed about future events. Just before major ones happen I get very agitated and the moment they happen the agitation goes away. This is when I stopped logging the dreams.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     the first time I was too scared to share with others, the second time I told a friend and I have not stopped. I will share it with others if the conversation comes around to a similar topic. I met a person at work and we both instantly "understood" each other and knew we had both had the same experience. We seem to be more smiley and open or something. 

Not influenced. The people at work know something is different about me. I get analyzed by people! I know that I am different too.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I had read about it. When I was in the tunnel I remember thinking that it was exactly as described. Though the clicking sound and the realization that had not been breathing for some time scared me greatly. It did not occur to me, during the experience that the NDE meant that I had stopped breathing etc.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    The experience stayed the same in my mind and feelings. The second time I was so scared that I was totally insane. But I had this feeling and still do that it is going to be ok. I knew I had a purpose or destiny. Still not sure what it is. The strange thing about my life is that if I say that I am going to do something I am prevented from doing that. If I say I would like to do....the chances are that I will be able to do that. This sounds crazy too.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes. The second time I knew that NDE's were linked to deep meditation and that NDE's were the beginning of understanding a process that was increasing in numbers.