Experience description:
When I was
19 I contracted a fatal bacteria called Neisseria nemengitis. Within the first
15 hours of the first symptom it is 95% fatal. After entering the hospital I was
put into an induced coma because my entire body was shutting down.My kidneys had
failed my liver was shutting down, my lungs and adrenal glands were hemmorraging
and I needed constant blood transfusions. at one point they realized I was
internally bleeding and brought me to cat scan which showed that my spleen had
ruptured. I was given "less the a 2% chance of living". Although I was in a
coma, I was very aware that I was in surgery. At the beginning I was lying on
the table looking up. I saw the Indian Doctor to the left of me and a nurse with
brown curly hair to the right of me They were both speaking to me and telling me
if I want to live then it is up to me. The doctor asked me if I believe in God
and If I do to keep thinking about that. My heart was beating out of my chest
244 beats/minute to be exact I remember feeling it pounding so hard. I felt the
doctor cut my chest open, It didn't hurt, I just felt a light touch go from the
middle of my chest down to my belly button, and I felt my chest open up, but I
felt no pain. I was then looking from above at my body and the doctor and
nurses, I thought I was in Heart surgery because my heart was pounding out of my
chest erratically.
The doctor
kept talking to me although I don't recall seeing his mouth move, I could hear
is voice and his words. He was talking me through it. At one point I knew I was
dying my heart was beating so hard and so fast and I kept thinking I know you
guys are trying to help me but hurry because I am going, I'm going, hurry I'm
going then I felt one last pound in my chest and I knew that was my last breath.
At this point it is confirmed on my EKG reports that I flat lined. I remember
being in a space floating almost I didn't feel my legs. It was dark but there
was a green light in the background, It wasn't a brilliant bright light it was a
soft green. I saw three silhouettes, I didn't recognize who or what they were
but they spoke to me and said "you can come with us or you can stay" I remember
getting really mad because I was so young and there was no way I was going to
let myself die. I remember thinking of all things I didn't want to give up like
the sound of ocean waves and thunderstorms, even the taste of hose water when I
was a kid. I thought about my family and The smell of campfires. I wasn't ready
to give that up. I remember knowing that my life would be different from that
point on and knowing that physically my life would be challenged but that I made
the decision to live. Someone else at that point told me "no matter what happens
in life just go with it" just roll with the punches, life isn't that serious
"and it
will all make sense in the end". At That point I experienced the strongest
breath of air and it just felt as if my body suddenly became saturated with
life. After that surgery I remained in a coma for another week then slowly woke
up. I actually woke up feeling positive and mentally strong, I knew I made the
decision to stay therefore I could not complain about the challenges to come. 4
weeks later I had both of my legs amputated an a year later I had a kidney
transplant. So far everything that has happened in my life has been a blessing.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
No
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes While in a coma and on Life support my spleen burst and I was internally
bleeding. I was in surgery to get it removed and not expected to live. My heart
flat lined and I was aware of everything that was going on, although my eyes
were taped shut and I was in a coma
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
I was alert on a physical level where I knew what was going on with my body at
the very beginning.
Then I was
in a space where I left my body and was encountered by 3 spirits so at that
moment I was I guess you would say spiritually aware.
How did
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare
to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
Did your
vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such
as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Uncertain
Did your
hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect,
such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain Because I was in a coma. But during my NDE I could
hear everything and see everything clearly.
Did you
experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
A mixture of anger because I didn't want to leave, passion and
excitement about life and living and a since of "knowing" I felt very
compassionate and thankful
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes I
didn't pass through the tunnel but remained in it I was not standing on my feet
though
Did you
see a light?
Yes A pale soft green light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Did you
meet or see any other beings?
Yes I did not know them there were 3 silhouettes they weren't male or
female, they were asking me if I want to stay or go with them. When I made the
decision to stay I was told by somebody else just to roll with the punches and
live with compassion it will all make sense in the end.
Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
Yes It was verified by my doctor who performed the surgery that while he was
working on my he was talking me through it mentally. He also confirmed the
nurses who were in the room and it is confirmed that I flat lined and needed to
be resuscitated.
Did you
see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
Uncertain I was somewhere in between. I did not go further then the tunnel
Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I knew that I was the one who needed to make the decision to live or to
die. I was also told that everything will make sense at the end and to just take
life as it comes because even the negative things in life have a reason behind
them.
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you
become aware of future events?
Yes
I knew I would be physically disabled. I lost bother of my feet 4
weeks later.
Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
No
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes As soon as I woke from my coma I wrote on paper because I still had a
ventilator down my throat and could not speak. I wrote everything I experienced
down on paper. Everyone believed it because it was an absolute miracle I
survived. Although I have a hard time telling people, it just isn't something
comfortable to say out loud, It's something I cherish.
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Uncertain I had heard of it before. That's it
How did
you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real It came back to me slowly over about a weeks
time, but I was also waking up from a coma for over a weeks time. I just knew it
happened, and recall my thoughts and feelings at the time it happened.
Were
there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The entire
experience. Knowing that I made the decision to survive has stuck with me ever
since. I also thought about all of the things I didn't want to give up and all
the things I wanted to experience. My life is so much more full now. I
appreciate every moment.
How do
you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real The feelings I had about it in a sense
have faded slowly just because I thought about it constantly for the first 2
years after the experience. Then the last 3 years I have moved on in my life and
I only think about it when I really quiet or in a challenging situation.
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I am more
thankful for everyone in my life today, I am more compassionate as well. Life is
about living compassionately and fully, and I know that now.
Have
your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
no
