EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
In the midst of the heart attack, I was talking with the EMT in the
ambulance one second, and the next I was somewhere else. It was completely dark
and void of sounds. I "felt" completely immersed in an emotional cacophony of
positive feelings. I have never felt so good as a living human being. I am
convinced that I was in the presence of the Holy Spirit, even though I don't
know the "why" of this. There was absolutely no concept of time, pain, sorrow,
fear, or anything negative that is associated with the human experience. When I
became conscious after my heart had to be restarted three times, I was as secure
and happy as any person could be for a few moments; then the reality of being
back in the world came crashing down. In the years since, I feel as though I
have become more cognizant of what really happened during that time. Little
pieces of the puzzle have become apparent to me, securing my belief that what I
experienced was real and profound.
The second and third heart attack fourteen months later also was an experience
not to be forgotten. At the worst part of the attack, my vision changed from
being able to see the myriad of medical staff attending to me to a view of a
horizon. I could still hear the medical staff, but what happened during their
attempt to raise my blood pressure from 53/26 was vivid. I could hear the Holy
Spirit telling me to hang in there as I saw a mountain range in the distance.
Describing this is difficult to put into words, but everything between me and
the mountain range was jet black, including the mountains. Beyond the mountains
was a very bright, white light, and I was told that if I made it to the white
light that I would survive. I was conscious, but at the same time I was moving
towards the mountain range. Time was skewed, but very much apparent, as that
was the measure along with what I could see to my progress. I was determined
that I would make it and I eventually did once the medical staff had me
stabilized. This happened to me twice that day with each heart attack.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes The complete absence of negatives and the profound security and love
experienced.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes Heart attack with no heart beat; defib?
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
During my first episode, I was at my highest level during the entire time.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
During my first episode, I was at my highest level during the entire time.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Uncertain It seemed that hearing was not evident, rather, it
seemed more like what I would expect from some one talking to me brain to brain
without benefit of any audio.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Our dictionary will not do this justice. Joy, security, confidence,
love, warmth, happiness, contentment.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes The being was the Holy Spirit and he seemed to actually be a part of
me. He let me know that what he was was the conduit to all that happens good in
this life. He made it clear that there was a misunderstanding of him by humans
on earth and that nothing happened except through him. He urged (?) me to share
what he told me with every one who would listen, and that I have done and
continue to do.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No Absolutely. My understanding of who Christians refer to as the Holy
Spirit has changed and expanded beyond anything that I had been taught. I don't
fear death as I know that he is there with me every second of my existence. If
I listen to him, nothing can make this life unbearable. I have a connection
with him that I didn't have before. Clearly, even though I don't fear death, I
have been inspired to always cherish this life and do everything in my power to
continue it, even though I know that when I finally expire what awaits me.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes Time did NOT exist. I was simply "There".
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes My sense of knowing was what was imparted to me by the Holy Spirit
during the experience.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes My connection with the Holy Spirit. About three years after the
experience I was headed home from town. Within moments of getting on the road,
I was prompted to take another route; one that I seldom took, for no apparent
reason, but I followed what I was instinctively prompted to do. As I came over
a rise in the highway, I saw people gathered in the median and off the road to
the right. As I approached, I could see a truck upside down against a tree with
people standing off to the side. I stopped even though there were so many
people there. I asked if there was anyone in the vehicle and I was told to stay
away from it because there was gasoline running onto the ground. I was told
also that I would get sued if I got involved. No EMTs had arrived and the
police were absent, so I went to the truck. Inside still belted in was the
driver, an elderly gentleman. He was upside down and his back was to me. He
was unconscious and his skin was gray even though he was an African American.
Gasoline was draining onto the ground right next to me as I tried to reach his
seat belt, but I couldn't do it. I held his hand and checked his pulse and
spoke to him. His heart was in tachycardia like a machine gun. His pulse
slowed and then stopped. I looked up and it seemed that I could almost see
something as I told him that he would be in a better place. I finally released
my hold on his wrist as the paramedics arrived. I was over wrought with sadness
at his passing and my inability to prevent it, but I was confident that he was
with the Holy Spirit now. Why had I traveled that way? To hold his hand while
he made his transition... and that I am confident of.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Within days I spoke of what I had experienced. Disbelief and
incomprehension seem to be the responses that I receive. I don't know if they
were influenced at all.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes I had read about NDE, but I don't think that it influenced what I
experienced.
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I had no doubt of what I had experienced, and
still don't. It's as clear today as the moments that it took place.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
No,
it was one continuous experience without parts.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real My hand is attached to my wrist; of that I am
certain as I can feel and see it. The same holds true with my experience, as I
can still feel it.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
don't worry about the mundane abstractions involved in relationships. I find
that many of the things that I fretted over are meaningless and without merit.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
The
emphasis on the Holy Spirit has changed the hierarchy of what I believed about
God, God the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Yes,
I have been unconscious during many surgeries without benefit of remembering
anything from being out. The difference between that and My Experience is
profound and indisputable.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes I feel that everyone experiencing NDE will probably result in variables
as compared to any one else s.
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
No, it seemed very adequate.
