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Lisa K NDE 6283
I had a cardiac procedure to stop atrial fibrillation, I was under general anesthesia for 9 hours. During the procedure damage was done and it stopped my heart, I was cardioverted multiple times and when they couldn't get my heart to function an external pacemaker was placed to do what my heart could no longer do. I began hearing the staff panicked, rushing around, instruments being dropped on a metal tray and someone saying it high degree heart block and then I noticed I couldn't see anything, it was as if the whole room was white, it was warm and comforting. I felt as if someone was there with me but I saw nobody. I felt absolute comfort and love there, like I have never felt before.
When I heard someone say that I had high degree heart block I didn't care, I was where I wanted to be, I didn't care if I didn't come back. I didn't feel any pain during this time, just extreme comfort. The overwhelming love I felt will never be forgotten. After I was stable I had to have a permanent pacemaker placed and the doctor asked me if I had any questions about what was going to happen and I just blurted out "just don't let me die", I had no control of those words I couldn't believe I said that and quickly made an excuse for the statement and the procedure was done.
Soon as I got home from the hospital I began to have nightmares and panic attacks which I did not have prior to all of this. The thoughts of what I heard started to come back to me, I had not thought of the experience the whole time I was in the hospital but soon as I got home I felt very guilty over not wanting to come back to my life, to see my son live his life, to be here for my husband, my Mother and Father who already lost my brother, and I was almost the same age as my brother when he died. Within the months following the experience the panic attacks and bad dreams seemed to subside but the guilt is still present. Thinking back about the feelings I had has helped me with the fear of death, I no longer feel afraid of it.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was the complete sense of love unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. It seems difficult to find words to describe it.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes My heart was damaged during the ablation for atrial fibrillation and it stopped beating and did not restart, they tried cardioversion at least three times and had to place an external pacemaker to make my heart function. During that time I could hear instruments being dropped on a metal tray, could hear people panicked and moving around the room, I felt I was in a white room during this time, it was warm, I felt as if there was someone with me but could not see anyone, and most of all I felt complete love and contentment and safety. i heard someone say what had happened and I did not care, I did not want to leave this place.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I think it began when my heart stopped and I heard them say what they were dealing with, I remember feeling so loved and comforted that it would be alright if they couldn't bring me back. It was all feeling, I couldn't see anyone but I could feel a presence there with me,I knew I wouldn't be alone.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I could hear everything in the room from people moving around quickly, things being dropped and feeling like it all was going on around me and I was somewhere else, I couldn't feel any pain or anything that was being done to me. My mind seemed sharper in that I was in the middle of two worlds going on at the same time. Hearing an emergency situation going on on one side and feeling unbelievable love and comfort on the other side.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? I felt that I could see more clearly but in reality I saw nothing but white where I was and saw nothing in the room where my body actually was but I could hear things.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)? I could hear everyone in the room where my procedure was going on and I could still hear them when I felt I was in the" white room."
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt complete utter love,calmness and comfort.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Uncertain I felt like I was in a pure white waiting area or room.
Did you see a light? Uncertain Just a white room, no markings, doors etc just white but I had the feeling of walls there.
Did you meet or see any other beings? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I could feel that someone was there with me, but I don't know why they didn't show themselves.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place There was a white room. silent but could feel a presence, love and comfort.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It all was going on at once as if it were two worlds going on side by side.
Did you seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I was aware of the emergency situation going on and what it meant and because of the intense feeling of love and comfort I didn't care if I came back.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt like I was in some sort of waiting area, like someone was waiting to see where I needed to go.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will. I heard someone as if they were telling me that I was in high degree heart block and thought "I don't care", I was good where I was.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information/awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information/awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information/awareness regarding love? Yes I felt so loved, greater than is possible in our earthly life.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge or purpose? No
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in our life after your experience: That life can be gone at any instant, love those important to you and let them know it, and do with your life the things that make you happy and fulfilled.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience? That life can be gone at any instant, love those important to you and let them know it, and do with your life the things that make you happy and fulfilled.
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes My family is so important to me, I want to be there for them and let them know how much they mean.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain I have always had intuition, I just have to learn to trust it and abide by it more often. I have had a lot of times where I know I should do a certain thing and when I didn't go with it I'm left saying to myself why didn't I trust my gut.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes 1 year.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Just what has been in the media.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had a hard time dealing with the fact I did not want to come back to my life and I cant understand why that would be, I have so much to live for.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time? Experience was definitely real
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes My husband and son are very supportive, attentive and nurturing and a little possessive of my care and ongoing medical issues. There are also a lot or anger towards the whole decision to do the procedure in the first place.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your Experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes