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Barry L's SMR

Experience description: 

            I feel compelled to write you; I’m inspired as to the time and energy you and your husband invest in helping others journey the road of life as you, too, take that journey. My hope is that I may contribute, in some degree, to your knowledge base, as you use that to educate the greater society to which you are exposed. My deeper hope is that the greater channels will share, with you, that which I cannot, about my life experience.

            I have had a NDE as defined by a broader context then that which you use and this is but one reason for my writing to you, rather than sharing in the predefined format on your web page. I am connected to at least one soulmate and find the subject of great interest; I find it very intriguing that you have combined the NDE experience with that of the soulmate experience; this is very creative and original.

            The web page containing testimonies of soulmate encounters was disappointing; people, seemed to me, only saw the fairy tail aspect of the term “soulmate.” However, your multimedia presentation was right on, from my understanding and experience and again I wanted to share my thoughts that perhaps you could find some new and useful information. Have you considered offering your presentation as a MP3 file? This would allow broader usage of it.

            I’m going to give you my life’s story’ in a thumb-nail (as best I can and from my perspective, of course) and I do realize that I may have lost your interest already by now, but this will at least help me in solidifying it for myself. 

             First, a very brief overview of the childhood trauma’s that have been the root cause of my “story.” As an infant I did not separate form the mother archetype. I showed significant signs of depression by age seven; I know by age four I was suffering from depression. At this age I would “talk” with God and ask “why me God” (why was I suffering).  I have, of course, come to know the deeper reasons of why we suffer in life, reasons I didn’t have the capacity to know then.

            I was raised Catholic, and our family’s friend, whom visited us for Sunday dinners at our home, Father Jazz, molested me repeatedly over a summer at age eight. I am unfortunate, outwardly, to be of the psychological make up to have had the capacity to “split.” I did split off the engram content, (memories) vertically, and was unaware of the molestations for thirty six years. I suffer from a disorder know as complex MPD; I was also unaware of this disorder for thirty six years. To develop complex MPD an individual must experience trauma from two other sources or domains; physical abuse and emotional abuse. The latter two continued for about ten years.

             Ok, having got the foundational information out, I would like to begin to draw upon it, and make the connections from them, to the theme of NDE’s and soulmates.  I was of the agonistic belief system from about age ten to sixteen. At around age sixteen I had my paranormal experience. This was a powerful, life altering experience; albeit, nothing on the scale of a full blown NDE.  It was personal and only fully meaningful to me.  I know it was “real”; not a hallucination or other phenomena often used by hard western science to explain away within there schemas.  It was life altering. After the experience I was a person who knew of the other realms or dimensions---spirit world. I was a spiritual person on a mission to discover Gods will.

            The experience, and I’ve shared it with only a few people, was that of a visit from a “light.” It occurred during the night and the message was “love.” The light was ethereal, not light as we see with at night. The spirit had a vibratory vibration to it, which changed in its frequency. This spirit knew all about me and knew what I was thinking during the visit. The illusion of time did not exist during my paranormal experience. I don’t know how long, as we measure time, it occurred for. One interesting thing to me has always been the fact that I didn’t think what was going on to be abnormal. The light started in a corner of my room and moved closer to me as I lay in bed. When I became to desire the light; as I felt a connection of warmth or love or desiring to be closer to the light, it immediately moved, and rapidly, closer, and began to vibrate at a faster frequency.  The message was simply “love.”

            I believe the purpose of the visit from the other side of the “Vail” was to help me survive. I believe in soulmates that are on the other side or exists in other words, dimensions. Perhaps these soulmates are relatives from the past; perhaps souls that have a kinship, due to similar experiences in this world. I don’t know but I do believe they exist and assist us whether we are cognizant of them or not.

            Now, as to my soulmate of twenty six years, I would like to speak. This was the impetus to write in the first place, because my view or belief of the romantic soulmate is very different from the fairy tail story. I believe we were chosen for each other; perhaps we chose each other in the pre-earth life place where I believe we also choose our life “theme.”  First, I want to say that there has been no other person, in my life, that has “allowed” me to process so much pain. As life would have it, she has nudged me; pushed me; guided me; aided me; given me no choice but to go straight through the pain in metaphors representing past traumas. I have done the same for her; she just has had so much less than me to process. We have always, in the past, nurtured each other spiritually; having the same religious beliefs and precepts has allowed us to journey together the sacred path.

            Increased love and connectedness is the result of the journey of healing our past together. Capacity grows as we heal and peel the onion layers away. We have grown in the last six years, since the intense work has occurred, than in the previous twenty. I wish I could end on a fairy tail of “who says fairy tails can’t come true” but I can’t. There still awaits, in the near future, the largest trauma—pain processing to come. I don’t know “we” will survive, however, I believe we will always be soulmates.