Zachary G NDE
Edited for clarity by Judy Shea 10/21/12
I came home from Thanksgiving evening and took a few shots of vodka. I walked into the living room and turned on the TV. I quickly looked behind me and saw a fist about to hit my left eye. I felt three hits on my head, remember a "Fuck You Die," and felt as if my body was being rolled across the floor. I was unconscious at this point. The guy threw me off my third story balcony. I woke up in a trauma emergency room as a Level 1 Trauma victim with a free-flow morphine drip in one arm, and a saline solution drip in the other arm. After I was moved to a regular room, I started flushing out the pain killers and would not allow any more morphine. I'm allergic to pain killers. After my mind became sober from the pain killers, I started to remember my NDE. I remember spontaneously appearing with no body in a formless place. Only beings of pure consciousness melding with one another were there along with my consciousness. Those beings directly communicated with me through some kind of intuition, not through thought. It was direct knowledge without a thinking mind. Putting it into words now, what was being communicated to my mind was the understanding that: "I am not suppose to be here yet; I need to leave here and go back." I remember wondering, "Why?" "What is going on?" "I don't understand." Then the beings communicated to me: "Everything will be all right." They let me know that I am needed on Earth to do something, and they showed me by direct knowledge, or intuition, about the next part of my life up until the spring of 2013.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. I was attacked in my apartment.
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain. How can you put into words things that you have never experienced before? There was no human cognition happening. The thinking mind – the "I like it / I dislike it," the "Neither dislike nor like" mind – wasn't operating. My cognition seemed to be turned off and I was simply just there, watching and feeling.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in a non-physical, formless realm, as pure consciousness only.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I'll explain in terms of my experiences as a Buddhist with states of jhana. About eight years ago, I started practicing a Buddhist meditation, one of those that the Buddha himself taught. The one I practice is not a one-pointed-concentration meditation. It is like that, but in this one, you relax any stress and tension that arise in both your mind and your body by following the flow of whatever in your consciousness calls your attention. Using that approach, as your mind becomes more and more calm and relaxed, you will enter the first jhana. It will be an "aware jhana." In an aware jhana, if someone touches your shoulder (for example) you will know your shoulder is being touched. But if you use a one-pointed-concentration meditation, when you enter a jhana, (using the same example) you will not be aware of someone touching your shoulder. I practice an "abiding in awareness" jhana when sitting and I try to carry that jhana state right into my active life. My NDE experience was way deeper than either of the jhana states I have just described. But if I go deep into one of the jhanas, into the "formless jhanas," say – the realm of infinite consciousness, which is the sixth level of the jhanas – that's the level that matches my NDE pretty good, in terms of alertness and consciousness.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't see during the experience. There was no seeing; I was aware only of the pure consciousness of beings melding with each other, directly communicating, I suppose, by a sort of intuition.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no hearing. I was aware only of minds – the pure consciousness of beings melding with each other, directly communicating, I suppose, by a sort of intuition.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? No. Nothing.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt extreme equanimity. I had never felt so balanced before in my entire life.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I experienced pure consciousnesses melding together along with mine – no physical reality.
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm.
I experienced pure consciousnesses melding together along with mine – no physical reality, a completely formless realm.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? There seemed to be no time.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes.
I tried to communicate individually with other minds that were melding together. But I was somehow blocked.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Yes. Scenes from my personal future.
When I was shown things to come, there wasn't any physical sight. Just a knowing about what would happen. There would be a great calmness in my life for a few years, also fulfillment in finding a good friend and what he would be like, a great awakening and understanding of life itself, (which did indeed happen) a schism in my family, moving, and – (now still yet to be seen) something great and wonderful, when I will hand my life over by spring of 2013.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes. My kharma and past habitual tendencies will be transmuted into a new life. There is no permanent self or "I" that survives.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? No. Something will be happening by spring of 2013 and I must make a choice. And depending on what I choose, this choice's outcome will be good or bad.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes. Something will be happening by spring of 2013 and I must make a choice. And depending on what I choose, this choice's outcome will be good or bad.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Uncertain. Love can turn any hatred into love. But hatred can not appease hatred, only love can.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? Uncertain. We are all controlled by our kharma and habitual tendencies. We should turn away from causing negative kharma.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes. I was shown (again – not physically) what would be happening in my life in relationship to events during a period leading up to the spring of 2013.
What occurred during your experience included: content that was entirely inconsistent with the beliefs I had had at the time of my experience. I had been Catholic at the time of my death, but I sure didn't see any god or Jesus. Now that I am Buddhist, I can see that my experiences correspond with those of the Buddhist Heavens.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I can recall the memory of my experience very easily. However, other memories from around the time of the experience, I can't recall easily.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: Since my experience, I have started practicing meditation and watching my mind's attention. in my meditations I have seen individual consciousness arising from nowhere and also ceasing for no reason. I have started to understand something called "Dependent Origination," a twelve-linked chain of events that happens in the cognition of human consciousness.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life.
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes. Now I understand that the thoughts which you think make the world around you. When you think or act with bad thoughts, trouble will follow you. When you think or act with good thoughts, goodness will follow you.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes. Nothing directly relating to the experience, but now in my meditations, as my mind calms down more and more, I can hear beautiful music such as I have never heard before, coming from a heavenly place .
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes. Maybe a few years afterwards. But when I told people, some just listened with a blank look, and some gave me a look like that I must be crazy, and others just walked away. Very few were interested.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was probably real. It was just a memory and my memories do not lie.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real. I know it from my realizations during meditation and from reading the Buddhist sutras. The experience was definitely real.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. I started to let go of people who are good-for-nothing and started keeping around me people who are good at heart.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. Now I believe in Buddhism.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes. While sitting in meditation, experiencing deep jhanas.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes. I wrote what I remember.
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you? Find others who have had NDEs similar to mine – of a formless heaven with the consciousnesses of beings melding together as one.