Yvette R Possible NDE
It was August 15th 1987 and I was getting my dance school ready for new classes. I had a fever of 38-39 degrees and because the aspirin wouldn’t help I had to call my doctor. After hearing of my symptoms he diagnosed a flu, we weren’t worried and we found it a bit amusing as it wasn’t flu season. We agreed that I would go on antibiotics, convinced that all would be back to normal fairly soon. Quite the contrary! My aches got worse and my fever went up to 40 degrees.
I refused to go to the hospital and because I lived close to my mother I received medical assistance at my home. I only accepted visits from doctors and from my mother who was taking care of me. I had told everyone that I might be contagious but in reality, I just didn’t want anybody seeing me like this.
Day after day I saw myself decline physically and morally. My body ruthlessly weakened. My joints ached. Getting up from my bed was difficult. I couldn’t stand steadily and I worried about falling because my legs wouldn’t carry me. It hurt to walk. I lost my appetite and I had difficulty swallowing all the delicious vegetable soups my mother prepared. Reading was uncomfortable and the light bothered me…. my mind didn’t control my body anymore and was rebelling.
I anxiously waited for medical tests results. I felt sorry for myself and when I was alone I cried, being aware of any noises coming from the door as my mother sometimes came at inappropriate moments. I didn’t answer the phone anymore as the ringer startled me and hurt my ears. I listened to the messages on the answering machine when I was lucid enough to do so. I couldn’t sleep soundly and all the street noises echoed and pounded in my head.
My main concern was trying to hide from my family how my decease was worsening, by modesty but mainly by fear of being hospitalized. I used my intelligence to fool them but I was now having difficulty being vigilant at any instant.
One morning I threw the box of sleeping pills in the toilet. I had been taking half a pill every night for the past 2 weeks and I thought they were the cause of my nightmares and delirium.
I woke up in the middle of the night: sweating to the point of taking off my duvet or being cold to the point of not being able to warm up. Some nights, I was hunted by nightmares from my teenage years. I fell relentlessly in a void, my heart pounding, to what seemed an eternity. I woke up, horrified, panting and clinging to my duvet like a mad woman.
One day I had to go to the hospital for some exams and miraculously my temperature held at 39 degrees, which meant I could be discharged that same night.
One night, a few days later, I felt like my pain was subsiding and my fever was going down. I felt better, calmer and to my amazement, I wasn’t hearing any sounds from outside. I knew I was going to sleep soundly and I needed it badly.
In this healing silence I heard two manly low voices with a soft tone. I had never heard them before and their clarity was bewildering. One was to my left and the other to my right and they were just there, without any physical manifestation.
These pleasant, sweet voice, were comforting to my ears. I was attentively listening to their conversation but quickly got upset as I realized they were calmly deliberating my fate as if I wasn’t there. Despite my best efforts I was unable to make any noise coming out of my mouth, I was mute and could only address them telepathically. I knew they could hear me but they were not too preoccupied about it and acted as if I wasn’t there. I felt powerless and it was infuriating me. I understood something abnormal was happening but it was real and a serious decision was being made unbeknownst to me. I thought of my daughter who still needed me. I argued, protested, begged but nothing worked: they were still ignoring me. The voice at my left was on my side and it was listing my qualities but the one to my right wasn’t in my favor: it was listing my most insignificant imperfections. At the same time, scenes I remembered from my life and other scenes I was in but were unknown to me were unfolding at such a fast speed that they were bumping into my head. The whole thing was very confusing and I found the situation I was in to be insulting and ridiculous. Tired from all the useless efforts I had made to try to be heard and moved from some of the pictures and comments, I fell asleep….
All of the sudden I saw my body below me, inert, laying down on my bed. I felt so good. I went to see my daughter who was sound asleep at my mother’s place. I freely moved into space with a bewildering lightness and speed. No obstacles and barriers were obstructing my aerial movements. I went through walls with childish pleasure: I was having fun and totally taking advantage of it… The Statue of Liberty and the New York skyscrapers do not impress me anymore.
I went back to my bedroom to observe my body with as much disregard as before. I found myself appalling and I smiled from within.
Suddenly, I was violently sucked in by an uncontrollable force. It felt like it ripped my heart out and it swiftly took me into a dark place. I was in pain and terribly scared: it was some sort of wide-open and unstable abyss, with glowing walls and it was terrifyingly dark. The unpleasant smell of sulfur was making me nauseous… hideous shadows appeared from everywhere and fidgeted in every direction, their moans were dreadful. They were touching me lightly, trying to catch me, to hold me back… I was horrified and my fear was at its worse. Then…. a bright and intense constellation enthralled me. I radiated and was attracted by it. Getting to it seemed to take forever but the closer I got the more I felt free of my torpor by its purifying brightness. I was exhausted….
As if by magic I entered it, or it absorbed me… I could not tell the difference… That’s when all my fears lessened to give way to Peace, serenity and a well-being that I did not know existed.
Here I was serene in a peaceful world, where the light enlightened with all its glory and invigorated intensity, where the perfumes exhaled a captivating fragrance. A world nourished by spectacular symphonies backed with the melodious sounds of sacred choirs where everywhere was pure beauty.
Nature was rich, glistening and luxurious. The green pastures were filled with flowers with fancy petals, subtle shades, delicious smells, so beautiful that our most prized gardens would have been green with envy. Estates of crystals adorned with precious gems shined everywhere. Sky-blue lakes had a silvery reflection. Forests offered a myriad of elegant trees, their leaves were sumptuous and were of many shades of fluorescent green. Beings of an exceptional glory expressed the power of Everlasting Love in all its Pure Truth. I had never seen anything so extraordinary harmonious, never had been through such a comprehensive and intelligent sensory experience. I never felt so free to express myself, never felt such an intense flood of love…
I am captivated and paralyzed by the presence of a group.
A very large being of extreme beauty illuminated everything. He exuded Divine Superiority with his presence. He was bear-foot and he stepped away from the group to face me with all his magnificence. He was wearing a long, immaculate white alb. His arms hung alongside his body with his palms opened. My attention was on his long and stringy fingers and his fine, superb hands.
He was observing me with a look of infinite goodness and compassion that reached deep inside my being. JESUS CHRIST appeared to me, wrapped me up with his Divine Presence. His radiance embraced my soul. I could feel him with every fiber of my body. The power of his love wrapped itself around me in a surreal silence…. I didn’t want to leave him!
An untimely noise forced me to open my eyes. Stunned, I found myself in my bed and noticed my mother who was in the doorway. I didn’t move. She thought I was asleep and I was sad…. A few tears softly roll down my cheeks….
I could hear my mother busying herself in the kitchen. I got up in a hurry to go tell her I had died but that death was a wonderful state. It is only a liberation of our bodies that fills our soul with love. Surprised to see me up she inquired about my health even before I could tell her about the unbelievable adventure I had just experienced.
Nothing mattered more than sharing with her the truth that had just been revealed to me. There was a lightness about me that made me think I was doing better… Then I realized: I am healed! My mom listened to my story skeptically and didn’t interrupt to suggest that my fever must have created a delirium that brought on an enchanted dream.
In the afternoon I asked my mom to drive my daughter, my poodle Blondie and myself to the mountain. I had this odd need to be with nature, to reconnect with the trees as if they were vital for my complete remission. My mom found my request to be unusual but happily came along for a pleasant drive. My daughter and myself were on a communicative lookout. We hugged each other and laughed for no reason. My mom worried about me getting tired but nevertheless, she was happy for us. Blondie was wild and ran in all directions without going too far. The air was filled with the echo of our laughter and life on earth regained its rights.
Three days later, at the beginning of this beautiful month of October 1987, I was once again teaching gymnastic and dance lessons with as much pleasure as before but with a renewed energy.
All the medical exams came back negative. The decease carefully kept its secret.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes Extremely difficult to describe. I carefully chose my words and constructed my sentences in the hope to perfectly describe the experience. I tried to express it in its truth and make people feel the emotions it brought on during and after.
At the time of this experience,
was there an associated life threatening event?
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole thing
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: The whole experience
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes I could see everywhere:
In front, behind, above and below, left and right, far away and close to me…
My sight was perfect:
The colors were of dazzling brightness
The light was pure.
The shapes could touch one
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)? Yes I could hear extremely well. The sounds were perfectly clear.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Every day’s emotions. All of them
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes I was violently sucked in by an uncontrollable force. It felt like it ripped my heart out. I suffered terribly, it was so painful… I found myself in some sort of wide-open and unstable abyss, with glowing orange walls and it was terrifyingly dark. The unpleasant smell of sulfur was making me nauseous… hideous shadows appeared from everywhere and fidgeted in every direction, their moans were dreadful. They were trying to catch me, to hold me back… I was so scared.
Did you see a light? Yes, I first saw a light from far away and so deeply wanted to meet up with it yet, I was so afraid to not be able to do it. But the closer I got the more I was invigorated.
It was of dazzling whiteness but wasn’t blinding. It was Alive and intelligent.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes, I was with beings of light of extreme beauty, as I was myself.
There were beings of exceptional magnificence who expressed the power of love.
I was loved and loved naturally.
I knew only Jesus and his magnificence was impressive and dazzling.
We were freely flowing in the air but could also stay immobile.
He communicated the following to me:
The power of love is the biggest power.
Loving one another is essential for our spiritual growth.
Everything was created by Love and with Love.
Suicide isn’t a solution to escape suffering.
The truth is inside us and not outside.
We are becoming to “be”.
Read “ Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East” by Baird T. Spalding who was offered to me November 12, 2005.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Yes I saw my conception and learned that I had chosen my parents here on earth. Some events that I thought were not important, that I had forgotten, were morally painful to watch as I had unconsciously inflicted with hurtful words, careless choices or inconsiderate actions to people from my past. I learned to weigh my decisions, contain my anger, control my words and my thoughts. I now practice meditation and relaxation.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain I often have an impression of déjà-vu, to know and to have known places, people and events. Since my experience, nothing really surprises me.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes Before travelling as I wished in the universe of a light of marvelous beauty where love, happiness, harmony, abundance and grace reigned, I had to cross an infernal abyss that left me feeling uneasy. This universe wasn’t unknown to me, I felt serene, happy and filled with love, as I would in a reassuring and welcoming home.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes I had no notion of time and space
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I had access to Love with a capital « L »; I was enjoying his kind deeds and his graces without moderation. The beauty, youth, happiness, health…
First love ourselves then, others.
Love heals everything.
The order of the universe is love and light. The light is intelligent and creative.
We are the universe !
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain I was aware of events concerning the future but I must admit that besides the déjà-vu and the knowledge, I cannot prove anything… as if my memory was disconnected of its memories.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes But the ones that every human being possess within themselves: intuition, self-healing. This experience opened a field of perceptions and actions, which up to now, were unknown to me. I developed within me the ability to activate people’s inner natural force. I am able to heal, ease some psychological states, calm the pain, heal some wounds. I bring harmony and stability favorable to the development of the “Being”.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes, I immediately and spontaneously told my circle of friends and family. They were pretty confused but the psychological and physical changes that appeared in me didn’t leave them indifferent and from it arose questions and admiration.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: The experience was definitely real.
To this day I still consider the reality of my experience as very real. With the intimate conviction that nothing would ever be the same, I couldn’t help wondering why I came back? This question haunted me…. I was feeling so good in this loving world with Jesus; everything was so simple, natural and easy. I couldn’t help to find this world dull, complicated, hard and cruel. Furthermore, our freedom of speech was so limited….
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Three days later, all healed up, I was able to give gymnastic and dance lessons with an extraordinary energy that was unknown to me and still is lasting to this day. I am not afraid of dying anymore.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real.
To this day I still consider the reality of my experience as very real. I now have a light inside of me that brightens any darkness. It is rooted in my heart, ripens with my thoughts, blossom with my words, gets stronger with intuition, opens out with my attitude, reveals itself in my behavior, and propagates with my actions. The experience is continually active and regenerate in silence and stillness.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes My relationships are not always good in the moment but are getting better with time. I project a confidence that may confuse people; make them think I am proud, distant or indifferent to which I am not at all. I listen more, I am more attentive, and I more patient since my experience.
Have your religious
beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I am still learning how to love
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes, I sincerely hope so. I am not a writer and hope I didn’t make too many spelling mistakes but mostly, I hope I expressed myself clearly enough that my experience will bring comfort to the people who have lost a loved one. I answered the questions in all honesty.