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Wayne H's NDE

THIS SHOWS INTEGRATION INTO WAKING REALITY

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

Second Time Shared 14 Months Later

My Near Death Experience in 1996

I was a pedestrian pushing a disabled car when it was struck from behind. I was between the cars and the impact so great it bent the frames on both cars. I regained consciousness on a gurney in the emergency room. I knew I was going to die and welcomed the release from pain. Because of my religious upbringing (Southern Baptist) I was expecting a man in white robes on a golden throne to greet me. As I died there was a cessation of all feeling and blackness closed in and light shrank to a pinpoint. I felt myself falling backwards into the blackness and a cool sensation of wind. I felt myself turn and then a pinpoint of light appeared in the blackness. I came out into the light and was in an upper corner of the ER looking down at my body on the gurney. I was not disturbed by being dead or by seeing my body on the gurney. I was in a state of euphoria and a sense of perfect peace and being. I had no pain, wants, or needs of any kind. I had a sense of being home. I sensed a presence behind me and then had a communication. This was beyond telepathy. This was not hearing words in my mind and translating them into thoughts, this was knowing as the other presence knew, an instant sharing of knowledge. I had no interest in asking questions or in seeing anything, I was completely at peace. I was then made to understand I was to return. At this point I had my first want, the desire to remain. I wanted to know why I was to return.

The wall beyond my gurney became transparent and I was shown what appeared to be a flowing river. It was silver and shimmering as it flowed. The drops in the river were each a different color yet all flowed together as one body of water. Nothing gave me the impression this was actually water or a river but this is the best descriptive example that can be given of something I witnessed for which there are no words. The main body of the flow was silvery shimmering lights with different colored drops on the flow. I understood (I use this term because I did not actually hear) the colored drops were the experiences of all who had lived. The experiences existed as separate items yet belonged to the whole. The whole was the collective knowledge of all. I understood there was no individual, just one, yet each experience was individual making up the whole. This concept of ONE is so foreign to any description I can give, there seems to be no way now of describing it. My previous understanding of ONE was a single uniqueness. In this case ONE is something else. Many being ONE and ONE being many, both existing simultaneously in the same time and space.

I further understood that the collective experiences are omniscient knowledge. Everything that has been spoken, heard, and experienced. These colored drops contained each experience down to the memory of every cell division, every thought. All experiences were known at once by the collective consciousness that was the stream. Any experience could be known as if it were a first person experience happening at the time it happened originally. It was then that I was made to understand why there was no man on a golden throne to pass judgment on me. I had the 1st person experience of the one called "Jesus." I had his entire life (remember, time does not exist). His name was not Jesus, something more like Josephus. He had regular mom and dad, no God intervention. He had a difficult birth and an NDE during birth. He had a difficult childhood because of his near death experience, he knew too much. As he got older he began to tell people about his experience. He told people not to fear death because they would live forever. He told people that after death there was perfect peace and a perfect state of love. He told people that everyone was exactly the same and everyone could know who they really were and awaken to their spiritual self. He drew a small crowd of followers. After a time some of his followers wanted to form a religion and replace the Jewish priests because of the money and power. He cast the power mongers out of his following. Five of them conspired against him. At his trial there were three witnesses against him, all were his followers. He was hanged (not crucified, he was just a petty criminal to the Romans). Being in a hurry the Romans cut him down a little early and his loyal followers carried his body off. He revived having had a second near death experience (his "second coming" so to speak). He lived for awhile hiding from his 5 traitorous former friends (the anti-Christ?) but died after a bit from his injuries.

There was no fear, or joy from this stream. I use the term river of life to describe the stream. There was an understanding of complete peace, happiness, and contentment without need or want, coming from the river of life. I had a strong desire now to join the river of life and felt this was home, where I came from. Touching the river gave me insight into realms beyond realms, universes beyond universes, dimensions beyond dimensions; I experienced infinity. I was shown a long line of experiences in other realms of realities and on other worlds. It was some time later I realized it was my past "lives" review of all existences of which I had been part. There were beings and objects unlike anything I had ever seen or heard of, even in the imaginings of science fiction writers I had read. I was made to know there were an infinite number of realms of existence and all were part of the One, the Source. The stream had distinct layers or levels that were not divided by any kind of barrier but each seemed to be of a different density. The one I experienced was the highest level. Where I first came after death was into the lowest level; I call it the "between place" or "lowest level of transition."

That stream of consciousness and knowledge is what might be termed the "mind of god. I understood I was not to join the river of life at that time, I was to go back. At this understanding I began to have fears and questions. I again reiterated I did not want to go. I understood I was to go back. I then was made to understand there would be great pain. I did not want to face the pain that awaited me. I understood the pain would be great and it would change and mold me. I wanted to know why and what I was to do. I was flushed with two sensations, one after the other. One sensation was of a sense of an action being right that brought a brief moment of the total peace and comfort I had experienced. The other sensation was one of an action being wrong. The sensation for wrong was a darkening of the light and cold. At that point the light dimmed and I felt myself falling backwards into blackness. There was a cool wind and I felt myself turning. There was a pinpoint of light in the blackness and I reemerged into light on the gurney and in my body. I was mostly unconscious for the next 30 hours and underwent surgery. I understood from family members I died again but I did not have another experience.

First Time Shared

          I regained consciousness on a gurney in the emergency room.  I knew I was going to die and welcomed the release from pain.  Because of my religious upbringing I was expecting a man in white robes on a golden throne to greet me.  As I died there was a cessation of all feeling and blackness closed in and light shrank to a pinpoint.  I felt myself falling backwards into the blackness and a cool sensation of wind.  I felt myself turn and then a pinpoint of light appeared in the blackness.  I came out into the light and was in an upper corner of the ER looking down at my body on the gurney.  I was not disturbed by being dead or by seeing my body on the gurney.  I was in a state of euphoria and a sense of perfect peace and being.  I had no pain, wants, or needs of any kind.  I had a sense of being home.  I sensed a presence behind me and then had a communication.  This was beyond telepathy.  This was not hearing words in my mind and translating them into thoughts, this was knowing as the other presence knew, an instant sharing of knowledge.  I had no interest in asking questions or in seeing anything, I was completely at peace.  I was then made to understand I was to return.  At this point I had my first want, the desire to remain.  I wanted to know why I was to return.

The wall beyond my gurney became transparent and I was shown what appeared to be a flowing river. It was silver and shimmering as it flowed. The drops in the river were each a different color yet all flowed together as one body of water. Nothing gave me the impression this was actually water or a river but this is the best descriptive example that can be given of something I witnessed for which there are no words.  The main body of the flow was silvery shimmering lights with different colored drops on the flow. I understood (I use this term because I did not actually hear) the colored drops were the experiences of all who had lived. The experiences existed as separate items yet belonged to the whole. The whole was the collective knowledge of all. I understood there was no individual, just one, yet each experience was individual making up the whole. This concept of ONE is so foreign to any description I can give, there seems to be no way now of describing it. My previous understanding of one was a single uniqueness. In this case one is something else. Many being one and one being many, both existing simultaneously in the same time and space. I further understood that the collective experiences are omniscient knowledge. Everything that has been spoken, heard, and experienced.  These colored drops contained each experience down to the memory of every cell division, every thought. There was no fear, or joy from this stream. I use the term river of life to describe the stream. There was an understanding of complete peace, happiness, and contentment without need or want, coming from the river of life. I had a strong desire now to join the river of life and felt this was home, where I came from.  Touching the river gave me insight into realms beyond realms, universes beyond universes, dimensions beyond dimensions; I experienced infinity.  There are elements of what happened during that moment I cannot yet share.  That stream of consciousness and knowledge is what might be termed the "mind of god."  I will share this piece that I have not shared in any public forum; I did not have a "life review," I had a "past lives in other realms of existence" review.  These were states of existence beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

I understood I was not to join the river of life at that time, I was to go back. At this understanding I began to have fears and questions. I again reiterated I did not want to go. I understood I was to go back. I then was made to understand there would be great pain. I did not want to face the pain that awaited me. I understood the pain would be great and it would change and mold me. I wanted to know why and what I was to do. I was flushed with two sensations, one after the other. One sensation was of a sense of an action being right that brought a brief moment of the total peace and comfort I had experienced. The other sensation was one of an action being wrong. The sensation for wrong was a darkening of the light and cold.  At that point the light dimmed and I felt myself falling backwards into blackness.  There was a cool wind and I felt myself turning.  There was a pinpoint of light in the blackness and I reemerged into light on the gurney and in my body.  I was mostly unconscious for the next 30 hours and underwent surgery.  I understood from family members I died again but I did not have another experience.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    Elements of the experience have no common reference in the present reality of human existence

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    As a pedestrian I was hit by a car.  I was drowning in my own blood.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  When touching the "river of life."

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:        I knew without having to perceive.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          Yes    The vision was the same but I finally realized years later that there were no shadows during the experience.  There was no real "vision" since I had no eyes, but I "knew" what everything was.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?          No     

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?          Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          euphoria

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        Yes   

Did you see a light?         No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Uncertain     A presence but would not call it a being

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   Uncertain     Past lives review in other realms of existence.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No     

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          Yes    The "cosmic conscious stream"

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    Time did not exist

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    Not for sharing at this time

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes    There was a separation between the stream of consciousness and the "between place"  I crossed the boundary and experienced infinity.

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       Yes    the "intuition" or ability to receive directly from the Source.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    About a year until the first sharing and the person simply thanked me for understanding there was something "after" life.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No     

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I absolutely knew it was real and had happened.  I knew I could not die because it was not my time even though the doctors anticipated my death for almost a week.  I have never questioned the reality of the experience.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? My brain-generated consciousness wanted to find out why I was not experiencing death like it was expecting from a religious standpoint.  During the time my spiritual consciousness touched the river of life my brain-generated consciousness had the first person experience of a biblical figure to understand why.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:          Experience was definitely real         The experience is as vivid today as when it was happening.  The knowing is just there.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Yes    I was not the same person.  Most friends dropped away and eventually I divorced.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes    I am no longer a Southern Baptist and have very little use for religions.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No                   

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes