EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I
was riding my horse in the riding ring which was located at the base of a very
long fenced pasture. All that I can effectively recall is that it was a very
warm and sunny Saturday morning and all was going well. Suddenly, my horse
bolted directly toward the fence and I could not control him. I have no memory
of what followed. My brother was onsite throughout the entire event and
observed that I had fallen out of the saddle, with my right foot still in the
stirrup, I was being dragged along the fence line with my head hitting the
ground and fence as the horse ran at full speed. Eventually my foot released
and I was dropped to the ground. When I brother reached me I was in full blown
generalized grand mal seizure, vomiting, and my eyes were clicking back into the
recesses of my eye sockets. He thought that I was dead as I did not respond. I
have absolutely no recollection of this.
As
we lived 25 miles from the nearest acute care hospital I was transported stat by
ground ambulance to the city of Victoria, B.C. The next thing that I recall is
levitating from a lying position into a conical tunnel in an upward direction
toward a beautiful, warm, very very bright white light. It beckoned me
strongly, and I really wanted to go. Simultaneously, I knew that I was in the
ambulance and lying on the right side of the vehicle. The siren was very, very
loud and was hurting my ears. I was frustrated by the noise and wanted it to
stop. I was aware that one or two people were around me and working on me,
although I could not feel them or see them. Across from me I knew that my Dad
was in the ambulance because I could hear that he was crying and begging me to
stay and not leave. All of this was happening at once. And then it all just
stopped, everything went blank. The next thing that I remember is that I awoke
in the hospital, the room was bright, and a nurse was about to cut the knot out
of my long hair, when I reached up and grabbed her wrist to stop her. I was
released from hospital two days later post diagnosis of a severe concussion. I
was not diagnosed with any residual brain damage. However, my intuitive ability
was greatly enhanced afterward, and has remained acute for my entire life.
Although I am not always correct, I have learned to pay close attention based
upon my own personal findings.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
Yes
Generalized Grand Mal Seizures with aspiration, followed by respiratory or
cardiac arrest.
Was
the experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain Oddly, many years went by before I was able to recall the
experience. I was in my thirties before it all came together and the
significance of what I had experienced at age 12 actually registered. I either
kept it to myself in my youth, or suppressed, repressed the incident altogether.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
While I was ascending toward the light.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal My senses were highly
acute.....intensified. Especially my hearing. I could not stand the sound of
the ambulance siren it was so loud that it hurt.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
The
only vision that I had was that of the ascending conical structure leading
toward the brightest, whitest light that I have ever observed. But more than
that it drew me in. It beckoned me to keep coming in it's direction. But I was
torn by what was happening around me, especially the siren and my Dad's torment.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
Unbelievably acute. Pronounced to the degree that it hurt. I wanted the sound
of the ambulance siren to just cease. And something else in this regard.
Throughout my entire life I have had exceptionally acute hearing. As an
example. I will often times be alerted to sounds before anyone else in my
company, and upon investigation, find the source of the sound.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that
your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
Yes The ambulance attendants were there working on me but I could neither see
or feel them. I could hear the sound of my father's voice as he was crying and
begging me to not leave this world. And the acutely loud siren.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
I
was frustrated by the loud sound of the siren as it hurt my ears. And I really
wanted to keep heading in the direction of the bright white light. It made me
feel safe......loved I think(?). The draw of the light was greater than the
desire to return to my earthly life.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
Yes Conical in structure. Not dark or light, just there in shape. Not short
or long. It seemed to envelope me perfectly.
Did
you see an unearthly light?
Yes But I knew that it was more than very bright white light. It radiated
love, peace, hope and acceptance. It beckoned me onward and upward and I really
wanted to go
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an
unidentifiable voice?
I encountered a
definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I heard no voice. But I knew that a very loving essence was associated with
this bright white light. I felt loved and protected, more so than I ever did in
my earthly life.
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha,
etc.)?
No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
Yes Everyone that was alive and in the ambulance with me. The attendants and
my father.
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A clearly
mystical or unearthly realm
The
tunnel and the bright white light I had never experienced before in my life, nor
since. There was a strong sense of knowing that this led to an unearthly,
ethereal place if you will. A place even better than my earthly home.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I
was cognizant of everything happening at once. It was as though I was
simultaneously trapped between two parallel worlds. One on earth in the
ambulance, and the other ethereal in the direction of the light byway of the
conical tunnel.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about myself
or others
I was 12 years old and made the decision to leave this earthly life for
something greater. The bright white light reassured me of such. A greater
reality; a bigger picture was perceived. And although it was new because
I
had not ever experienced it before, or to date, it was also known to me somehow,
and therefore familiar.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did
scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (“life after death”)?
Yes I sensed that my person has a universal awareness/presence long before my
current life, and long after. That this life as we know it, is a mere snapshot
of all that we are in totality.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
Uncertain However, the draw toward the light felt so good and safe. Total
love.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
Yes Just a knowing that I was so much more than this mere mortal dying in the
ambulance. Almost as though something supreme was delivering me a message, a
sign, that my work here on earth was not done, but that I would eventually
return to this all encompassing glorious bright white bliss.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not)
exist?
Yes It felt older and familiar. As though it was my true place of birth or
home. It was complete love and acceptance void of all or any pain.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?
Yes I sensed that I was being reminded from where I did actually come, and how
beautiful it will be again, but not yet. It was as though I was being
encouraged to remember while I toiled through all of the many earthly
difficulties. It was not my time to leave yet. I had to be patient. But I
needed to remember that I was not alone.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
Yes I sensed that I was being reminded from where I did actually come, and how
beautiful it will be again, but not yet. It was as though I was being
encouraged to remember while I toiled through all of the many earthly
difficulties. It was not my time to leave yet. I had to be patient. But I
needed to remember that I was not alone.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes The bright white light was complete and total unconditional perfect love.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
Yes This life is all about love. Not just for those close to you, but
everyone and everything on this earth.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes I have always had a sense of knowing what is most important in this life.
The hardest thing is to live life on this earth with so much love to give and
share with other not so enlightened beings.
What occurred during your experience included:
Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of
your experience My childhood was not easy. From a very early age I had to
accept adult responsibilities. Partly because of familial circumstances, and
because of my own nature (nurturing). I have always been wise beyond my years.
At the age of 12 years, I remember that I was overwhelmed and felt as though I
had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was already tired.
Approximately one week before my riding accident I sat outside with my Dad on
our back steps and I said to him that if this was life I did not want it.
Subsequently, the following week I sustained a life threatening fall from my
horse accompanied by a near death experience.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I
remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred
around the time of the experience Acuity and intensity of the experience. All
senses are heightened. Plus, the event itself is unprecedented; then and now.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your
experience:
My
intuitive ability became increasingly more enhanced. I developed a voracious
appetite for spiritual growth, further development and refinement of my own
intuitive abilities, and New Age literature. As a Registered Nurse, I have
witnessed death frequently throughout my life. A major question of mine remains
unanswered and that is where does the spirit, the soul, go when physical death
occurs? I am innately drawn to the metaphysical and find that I am perpetually
open to all possibilities yet not proven. I ask the larger questions each and
every day that I live.
My experience directly resulted in:
Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes I believed in myself to the degree that I became significantly more self
directed. I put a stop to an abuse situation that was partaking in my home
environment. And I decided on my future career as a professional nurse.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
Yes. I believe that I had this near death experience as an incentive to keep on
living. I believe that I came here to love and care for others. However, the
hardships experienced in my youth defeated me and convinced me that I could not
go on. The experience was a reminder that I am, and there is, so much more. It
was a message to be patient, to persevere, and to know how great is the love
that I shall someday return to.
Do
you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience
that you did not have before the experience?
Yes My own intuitive ability that I had prior to the accident was
significantly enhanced, and continues as such. Also, I am a gifted healer.
Especially from an intuitive perspective.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
Yes. I believe that I had this near death experience as an incentive to keep on
living. I believe that I came here to love and care for others. However, the
hardships experienced in my youth defeated me and convinced me that I could not
go on. The experience was a reminder that I am, and there is, so much more. It
was a message to be patient, to persevere, and to know how great is the love
that I shall someday return to.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
It was approximately 25 years after the accident. Reactions are mixed. The
person most greatly affected by my experience is my brother Richard who found me
immediately after the incident seizing in the pasture.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to
weeks) after it happened:
Experience was probably not real To the best of my ability to remember what I
believed after all of these years, I probably was not comfortable sharing my
experience with anyone for fear of criticism or rejection. My intuitive ability
had won me the nickname of, "The Little Witch", by my siblings, and I was
unwilling to subject myself to anymore verbal assault. I have always been
sensitive to verbal slights. But as I grew up, and into my own person the
experience never left me, and it always remained the same. I suppose that
maturity allowed me to bring it out of the closet so to speak. Plus, as a child
I felt very alone with this experience. But as I grew and discovered that more
people had experienced the same or similar events, it began to make more sense
to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real To this very day I believe in what I
experienced because the scenario never leaves me, nor changes. Plus, I have
come to know that several other people have experienced similar events. Also,
the feelings experienced during the event remain acute.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
I am
rather a loner. I enjoy solitude. I have a need for depth of love in a
significant relationship, but I do not need to be surrounded by large numbers of
friends or loved ones to be content. The greatest love that I have ever known
has come from my beloved cat Nicholas. I seem to have an innate ability to
communicate and commune lovingly with all animals. People seem to want to be
with me, and have said that I make them feel loved and accepted. I have also
been told that I am not like other people, but in fact that I am different and
special. A rare individual. I maintain the ability to find the good in
everyone that I meet.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result
of your experience?
Yes
I am
naturally inclined toward enhanced self discovery and personal development on
the spiritual front. It remains a work in progress and a labor of love. I am
equally passionate about the metaphysical realm.
At
any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
Uncertain When I met my current partner Jeffery, I fell deeply in love. After
sixteen years, the intensity of feeling remains for me. While sitting behind
him during a loving embrace I did experience an out of body experience, and so
did he. I literally floated into his being and he into mine. It was as warm
and loving as the feelings experienced while ascending in the direction of the
bright white light. These are the only two similar sentient experiences to date
in my life.
Is
there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?
No.
Did
the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes The questions depicted in-depth knowledge of my exact experience during
and afterwards.
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience
(NDE) do that would be of interest to you?
Utilize this personal information in ongoing research of NDEs.
Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your
experience?
I have none at this time.
