Tristan Z's NDE
At the age of fifteen I attempted suicide. I drank a lot of alcohol and took bottles and bottles of pills. This sounds funny but I changed my mind and decided I really did not want to die. I called an ambulance about the time my mother found the empty pill bottles and started screaming. My dad, retired army, drove me to the hospital on the local army base.
I must have been going in and out of consciousness because the next thing I know I am on a table in a room. There are people all around me moving around. A nurse is shoving a tube down my throat. I am gagging and the nurse is screaming, "Don't bite me, you'd better not bite me." A man is is screaming at me asking me what pills I took. Some time later a nurse is screaming at me saying, "What were the red pills. You have to tell me what the red pills are!" I wonder why everyone has to scream. Later I wake up to hear someone talking about kidney damage.
A man is sitting beside me. A kind looking black man. I tell him I don't want to die and he says, "Don't worry, you're not going to die." I ask him to to hold my hand. He does. I ask him not to leave me and he says he won't.
At some point, I'm really not sure if it was before or after all this, I realize I am looking down on a scene. I see a nurse standing beside someone on a gurney. I have this surreal feeling. I am very calm...lacking any emotion. Everything is very clear and in slow motion. I see my mom, dad and sister standing beside the person on the gurney. I don't immediately recognize them as my family until I ask myself who these people are. I see the people talking but I can't hear them. I wonder to myself who is on the gurney and why my family is there. I hover there watching but I'm not sure for how long. There seems to be no sense of time.
I just remembered this. You know how you can feel the slight movement of air around your body? No matter where you are there is some movement of air or change in temperature. When I was floating above there was no air movement or temperature of any kind. There was a complete absence of those things.
several things happen simultaneously. I hear something like warning bells going
off. A steady ding, ding, ding. I see the people looking alarmed. My dad is
wringing his hands. The nurse starts to push the gurney. My first thought is,
hmmmmmmm, this is interesting. Like watching a movie. Then I realize that it's
me on the gurney and that I am above everyone. I think, I'm not suppose to be up
here! The next thing I remember I am waking up in ICU hooked up to a heart
monitor and all kinds of equipment.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes I was in ER after taking a massive overdose of pills and alcohol
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I have never felt such a complete sense of calm clarity and lack of any emotion as I did while looking down on my body before I realized it was me down there.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: I had great clarity and no distractions. I'm the type of person who finds it hard to focus. My mind is on several things at once and I'm distracted by things going on around me. In my OBE I had no distractions. No emotion or worries. Thinking was not an effort. In normal life you ask yourself a question and it's like a computer searching for information. It takes a second or two. In my OBE I thought a question and had instant knowing. Everything I looked at was very clear and my mind was completely focused on each individual person or thing I looked at.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes As I saw things it seemed like I was a bit higher up than the ceiling. When I focused on an individual person such as my body, the nurse or my parents it was like looking through a telescope. Very clear but no peripheral vision.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes I could not hear the words people were speaking or any other sound. I only heard an alarm.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt calm and completely separated from any emotion or care until I wondered who all those people below where.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No
Did you see a light? No
Did you meet or see any other beings? Uncertain A man was sitting beside me. A kind looking black man. I told him I didn't want to die and he said, "Don't worry, you're not going to die." I ask him to to hold my hand. I ask him not to leave me and he says he won't.
know if this was a real person or not. Later, I asked around because I wanted to
thank the man. No one knew who I was talking about. Not sure if the man was
there before or after the OBE. He was not there during.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain I would not talk to my parents so I could not confirm things. I did ask about the black man who held my hand and comforted me. No one knew who I was talking about.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes There was no time. I seemed to be higher up than just the ceiling or the room. I was very separate and invisible from the people below me.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes After the age of 30 I realized that I am a Sensitive. I can feel the presence of spirits. Not every spirit I'm sure but sometimes I can feel a spirit already present in a room or a spirit enter a room. I have an uncanny ability to feel the "mood" of a group of people or the nature of an individual. I see no connection to my OBE.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes It was decades after the experience before I told someone. They believed me. I don't think they were influenced in any way.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real It was just as real as putting your hand in a fire. I never questioned the reality of my experience. It happened. It was real.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? It was the first time I saw my parents as real people. Not just my parents but separate individuals with emotions. Up until that time everything was about me. Typical 15 year old. There was nothing that was not about me, for me, concerning me, or important to me but myself.