Star's NDE

Events surrounding NDE:  I had not been feeling well for a couple of weeks.  I had been running  a "low temp" and had "cold" like symptoms.  I continued to go to work.  One afternoon, when I got home from work, I started 'shaking" and "shivering". I could not get warm.  I went upstairs to go to bed and I must have had at least 7-8 blankets on me. I just could not get warm. 

All of a sudden, everything went "black."  Total blackness that I can't even describe, it was so black.  I didn't see anything,  but I head a very loud "rasping" like sound.  I then found myself out on this beautiful field.  It was bright, sunshine day. I can't describe the vivid colors and how beautiful it was.  I was still shaking.  I could not cross the field.  For some reason, I knew that I could not.  Way across the field ( and I would use "miles" to describe it), there was a beautiful carousel with several beautiful ladies on it.  They were all dressed in light pastel colors.  Dresses that were "floor-length."  Its hard to describe.  Light material type of dresses,  and they all had "parasols" (sp?- you know, they look like umbrellas, but they're not).  One lady got off the carousel and came over to me.  She took my hand, and I immediately stopped shaking and I felt GREAT!  No words were spoken. 

She then slowly shook her head "no" and let go of my hand.  But it was so gentle and loving.  I immediately started shaking again and screaming for her to come back to me (she went back across the field).  The blackness closed in again, and I heard the loud rasping noise.   The next thing I knew was that I was on the way to the hospital.  I had double pneumonia with 105 temp.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect this experience?  No

If yes, please explain:  I was not on any type of medications

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

            If yes, what was it about the experience that makes if hard to communicate?  The colors and beauty and love surrounding the experience.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

            If yes, describe:  Double pneumonia - I was extremely sick,  and did not gain full strength for about 6 months.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  Very consciousness and alert as to what was happening during this NDE.  It did not seem like I was in any type of "dream state."

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Absolutely not.

Was there any medical evidence of cessation of breathing or heart function?  I really don't know.  If I stopped breathing during the experience, it would have been before I arrived at the hospital.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  No 

Describe in detail the events (in order) that happened:  ***See Question No. 1***

What emotions did you feel?  Wellness, love, beauty

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises:  Only the "rasping" noise when it was totally black.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure:  No

            If yes, describe:  I think the "blackness" was the tunnel.  It was totally black.

Did you see a light:  No

            If yes, describe:  I "just" came out onto this beautiful field.

Did you meet or see any other beings:  Yes

            If yes, describe.  Where were they?  Did you know them? What was communicated:  Several ladies on the carousel (far far across the field).  One lady walked over to me and took my hand.  I did not know any of the ladies.  My sight was incredible.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life:  No 

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events occurring while you were unconscious that could be verified later:  No 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions:  Yes

            If yes, describe:  As I said, the "field" ( the only word I can use to describe this beautiful place), it was so beautiful and the colors, even though "pastel" were so gorgeous, the sunshine and beauty of the place cannot be adequately described.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time:  No 

Did you have a sense of knowing universal order and/or purpose:  No 

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure:  Yes

            If yes, describe.  Did you cross the boundary?  If yes, describe.  If no, did you have  a sense of what would happen if you did cross the boundary:  I knew (telepathically) that I was not allowed to cross the field, even though I wanted to so much!  I wanted to stay so badly.  I felt so good.

Did you become aware of future events in your life:  No 

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body:  No 

Did you have any psychic or paranormal gifts following the NDE you did not have prior to the NDE:  Yes

            If yes, describe:  Hard question to answer.  At the time, I've never heard of NDE's, and everyone I spoke with said it was the "fever" of the pneumonia.  Over the years (nothing happened immediately), I felt myself changing.  6 months after this experience, I developed severe panic/phobias.  (I am still on meds for this). But, I can "sense" when something bad is going to happen.  I can sense when someone is around me.  I can feel the "touch" of Angels when I need the reassurance.  My dad came to me after his death (another story).  Even though its been 18 years, things are still "slowly" getting stronger with me.  Its kind of scary.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the NDE:  Yes

            If yes, describe:  Definitely Yes!  Such a long story :).  If there is a "hell" on this earth, I've been through it.  My son having been brutally molested for over 4 years by a pedophile, my best friend - my father, dying slowly of cancer.  Yet, even though, I cried and cried, no "real" hatred happened.  Where was the hatred? Through the past 18 years, I became spiritual, rather than religious.  I believe in life after death, whereas before (having been a Baptist), I believed you went to sleep until Judgment Day.  My belief system has totally changed. After my father's death, I fought the urge for 3 years to work with hospice.

It was only after hearing Dannion Brinkley on a Sunday afternoon, that I made my decision to call the VNA and become a volunteer.  When I did that, I felt like a "ton" had been lifted from my shoulders.  Hard to explain, but I know now that that "urge" was meant for me to do what I am now doing.  I read everything I could get my hands on regarding "death & dying."  I studied and studied.  Its like I "drank" all the information I could get.  I even became a certified CNA so I could help my hospice patients more.

How has the NDE affected your relationships?  Daily Life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices:  I've been married almost 20 years, and I've changed a lot during the past 18 years.  My husband keeps saying I'm not the person he married.  He can't understand my "ideas & belief" system.  I hate to say this, and I'm terrified at the thought, but I think we may end up getting a divorce within the next 5 years (I can just feel it). Religious Practices:  My belief system has completely changed as far as my religion was concerned.   Career choices. I love my full time job (police dept).  But, my real "love" is my terminally ill patients.  I've only been doing this for a year and have only had 4 patients, but I "grow" with each one of them.            

Have you shared this experience with others:  Yes

            If yes, what were their reactions?  Were they influenced in any way by your NDE?  How:  Until I met friends who were "new age" and more "spiritual type of friends who believed me.  When I spoke to others, I was told it was an hallucination from the fever, not real, forget about it, a dream, etc. etc. 

What emotions did you experience following your NDE:  I just couldn't forget about it.  Its "haunted" me for years, until I discovered a class on "Paranormal" about 4 years ago,  That's when I first heard about NDE's and I thought "hey, that's almost like what I went through."

What was the best and worst part of your NDE:  Best:  FEELING GREAT!  Worst:  Making me "go home"

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the NDE:  No, except that I remember ever single detail, 18 years later.

Following the NDE, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the NDE experience:  No

            If yes, describe:  Even though I'm still on meds (several of them) because of "emotional" Issues, I've never had the experience or any part of it that I did 18 years ago.  I've had pneumonia several times since, and its not happened.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your NDE:  Yes