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Shawn M Probable NDE 5228



edited for clarity by Judy Shea 7/1/11

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I felt my body shutting down. I was scared of the  black void I was in, but found I was able to breathe. Then I felt calm. But I was brought back. I was angry about having to come back, because I had never felt that kind of joy while I was alive.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain.      The dark void felt like floating in liquid, and it was scary.  I felt like I was going to drown. Then the floating-in-liquid feeling became peaceful.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes.     I committed suicide. I slashed my wrists & overdosed.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Just before the doctors brought me back.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes.     I was in a void, where emotion was my sight.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes.     I felt emotions, and through them, I was able to communicate.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            At first I felt scared. Then when I accepted that I was dying, I calmed down and felt no pain, just joy.  I felt secure and loved.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain.      There was a black void drawing me in. I was feeling a sensation of floating in liquid.

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes.     There was communication through emotion.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain.      I was unaware of time and space.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain.      The blackness brought me comfort.  Nowadays I am not afraid of the dark and am not afraid to die.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain.      I had a sense of unconditional love and joy.  I felt as if I had no body.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain.             I felt bliss.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Uncertain.      I felt as if I were without a body. I felt as though I were gravitating toward becoming one with the void.

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain.
            Sometimes I feel as if I brought something back with me. I am able to understand the emotions of both evil people and good people. I sense when danger is coming, or the opposite. I see things before they happen, or feel the effects of past events that have happened in certain places, such as where an awful event happened – or a good event. For example, one day in 2005, I walked into a place that I had previously never been in and I sensed a tragedy that had happened there. My head hurt and I had to go into the bathroom to vomit.  I never want to feel that way again. Later, by looking it up in an archives, I verified that a stabbing had occurred there.

When that happened, I stopped reading the paper and watching TV.  It's mainly the news and current events that I am avoiding. 

 
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes.     I can see, through emotion, if a person is going to do something bad. I feel their hate.  Or if they are going to do a good thing, I feel their love. I don't read about current issues because my reactions just confirm the way my life has changed.  When I go into a place, I see images of long ago and hear and feel things that happened back then. I don't believe in this stuff, but it believes in me.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes.     When I tell them, people get weirded out and sometimes stop talking to me.  Like, I'll tell them about my experience and then I'll also tell them something like that their sister is going to die of low blood pressure, and then that night, or 2 days later, she does.  

I used to always tell everything to my ex-wife and I still do. She's the only one who doesn't think I'm crazy, because she has always been a witness to these strange occurrences.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes.            Dreams, visions of things like the World Trade Center, the Oklahoma City bombing.  Sometimes it's just a feeling and I become obsessed with the subject. That's why I don't have a TV.  I discovered that not-knowing is better.  For example, I knew my wife was going to divorce me but chose to ignore the warnings. By choosing not to see it, my happiness was extended for longer.  That's why I don't try to see my future.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            I always saw the experience as "definitely real,"    because in the black void I was fully aware of what was happening to me.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The black void – it was so unexpected.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            I still see the experience as "definitely real."    I live with it every day.  It is a feeling I can never fully explain. I try, but I just sound crazy and I lose friends.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes.     When my aunt was alive, she got upset, because a year before her husband died, the thought of what I had experienced frightened her and caused her to question her belief system.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes.      Now I try to learn about religions and beliefs, all the way back to the ancient religions. I find that I can relate to the ancient beliefs better than to the religions people follow now.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   None