Robert FDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was 16 yrs old. There were many of us staying the weekend at the summer home of a friend. A large estate with expansive grounds including a point that jutted out into the lake. This point held sheer drop-offs into the lake approximately 60'. My friend challenged me to a race to the edge of one of these sheer drops on tractors. We choose are rides and off we went...I think he won. But he stopped and I mistakenly pedaled the clutch instead of the brake and away I went. At that instant I saw nothing, yet everything. I saw bright lights, felt intense euphoria, could see everything and everyone I had ever known. I felt helpless and could not steer (and I don't mean the tractor) and unable to get back and comfort my family and friends who were devastated by my tragic accident....well actually stupidity. So much in so short a time that it would take to plunge that distance.

I was overwhelmed with feelings like I had never felt before. I then remember standing in water and looking around and asking myself if this is heaven? Because it looked like the bottom of the cliff I had just gone over, and I was disappointed since I had just been to a better place. So, there it is. I went over the cliff and landed on my head on an enormous rock the size of a car. I don't remember hitting. I stood in the water draped in blood and looked up to see my friend looking down at me in disbelief! I for the most part kept this to myself for the better part of my life. Who would believe it anyway? When the property owner was informed many years later, she was astounded that I lived. But the tractor was a shambles and her daughter said that she jumped off just in the nick of time.  We were not allowed on the tractors.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Unlike previous, past or current experiences. Words seem totally inadequate.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Free fall with tractor over cliff.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    During the actual fall.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

            During the actual fall.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, serenity, euphoria, helpless

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      Just seemed like I was directionless but moving forward and everywhere. Looked like I was heading somewhere but, didn't get there.

Did you see a light?           Yes     Many bright flashes with a central and encompassing overall light that I seemed to gravitate to.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     Completely. I took from this event, comfort in knowing there is nothing to fear in death. It is a good thing, comforting and welcome and the real pain is left to those who have not seen or experienced or can understand. As I was being pulled or led, if you will, I was helpless that I was unable to get back to them, to comfort those left behind that were so upset with my passing and the terrible accident. I felt supremely knowing and sad for the one's I left. I could not ease their pain and I wanted to. If only they could have felt what I was, they would have been happy I was where I was.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No            It was undefined an intangible.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     How can an entire life flash by in what was probably only seconds?

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I believe myself to have special knowledge because of what I experienced, saw and felt. In terms of purpose, I guess only time will tell. I sense that when I die, I will return to that very place. I am waiting and have no fear.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      Obviously, I am here.....why and what stopped or prevented me from where I was. No voices or structure. I just felt enlightened and it was not the time.

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it years later. Some were intrigued, some dismissive, some look at you like your crazy.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    Because it was witnessed and there is no doubt I should have been killed. I was told later that a grounds keeper had accidently done similar and was killed years earlier. And I have never questioned what I know to have experienced.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Disappointed initially when I realized I was still here. It is not like I was having a bad life prior to this. It was fantastic in every way it could be for a 16yr old. Relatively speaking, I was fortunate with loads of friends, health, good looks, athletic, fun and well-rounded. I should add "stupid" also in hindsight!

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I have no doubt what I felt and to this day 40yrs later, I still recall clearly.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Uncertain      I have many unanswered questions. I felt the answers were near at the event, but I did not get there.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   No. Well done.