EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
My actual NDE occurred after having an air embolism trigger a
cardiopulmonary arrest. I explained above about my prayers to St. Therese and my
mom coming up, bringing me a card with a rose on it and my urgent need to tell
her everything was going to be ok, I had gotten my rose.
Then I saw the shade go down and it was dark.
The next minute I was up in the corner of a room watching what I believed
to be a man on a hospital bed. I did
not wonder why I was there, I just was.
I was very intrigued with what they were doing and believed they were
running tests on him at first, but then saw more doctors bringing more machines
and realized this was a life threatening situation and they were trying to save
his life!! I felt their tension and
worry over this patient. I watched with such interest for awhile, very
inquisitive of what was going on.
The next thing I know I am opening my eyes and looking up at a nurse saying
"your mom saved your life, it's a miracle you are alive". Nurses and doctors
were hugging. I looked at the wall and the clock was going backwards so fast! I
asked what was wrong with it, but they said "nothing".
After my NDE, is to me, the most intriguing part...that night as I lay in ICU, I
heard what I thought were monks coming from a door in my room.
They were praying and chanting, only in a kind of melodious fashion,
maybe more vibrational..hard to describe. There were families there and they
were crying and saying it wasn't time for them to go, and there were "people"
there who wanted to enter the light and when they did it was SO peaceful.
I felt the sadness of the families and I felt the pure bliss of going up
through the light. I told my husband the next day and he opened the door and it
was my bathroom! That day, again in
my bed in ICU, I began hearing the most beautiful, unimaginable music, again
vibrational maybe but with beautiful melody, too. It is so hard to explain and I
wanted to remember it for ever and tell everyone. I even tried to sit up in my
bed to make sure I was really hearing this wonderful sound! The music was love.
Later, when a nurse came in, I asked her if anyone had a radio or TV on and she
said, "no, it's been all quiet here, no TVs or radios on".
I told her I heard music and she said she had no idea where it came from.
I have never been able to remember that music.
We went to an Eric Clapton concert one year after this and he was really
going fast and loud on his guitar and I said "that's kind of like it, that's the
closest to it I've heard". My
husband said, "yeah, Eric Clapton REALLY IS god". The third event I had was on
my second day in ICU and with my mom by my side, I was telling her the story of
the elderly woman in the room next to mine who was very ill and her son wanted
to discontinue her life support, her granddaughter did not.
They fought and cried and it was so sad.
I felt their emotions, so sad. They left for awhile and I felt the
grandmother's love for her family, but I felt her let go peacefully the way she
wanted to and her peace going up to her Lord.
Later I heard the doctor come out of her room and tell the nurse that she
had decided on her own and peacefully died.
I was so emotional telling my mom this story.
She looked at me and said "I thought the room next to you was empty."
I asked the nurse when she came in and she verified that the room had
been empty since I got there. Three
years later, I went through the same thing in real life with my mom that I loved
more than anything. My sisters
wanted to pull her feeding tube, and I didn't.
That's my story. I
always took it as fact and never really questioned it.
I heard and felt these things. I
also felt a wonderful warm glowing light coming through my hospital window. I
told my kids it was like there is just a very thin line between realms and
somehow I was able to hear and feel things from the other side for awhile.
It was like I was able to tiptoe on the line.
At the time of your experience was there an
associated life-threatening event?
Yes
embolism which caused cardiopulmonary
arrest
Was
the experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
The out of body experience wasn't, I just
explained that how it was. The chanting
and the beautiful music I heard were very hard to explain and I cannot remember
them or have never heard anything like it again.
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and
alertness?
Probably during my out of body experience
when I was watching the room and activity below.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness
than normal
I was just very very inquisitive during
this time.
Please compare your vision during the experience to
your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the
experience.
It was normal
Please compare your hearing during the experience to
your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the
experience.
I don't believe I heard anything
during my actual NDE, just watched....my hearing was normal during my "after
NDE" experiences.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were
occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your
physical / earthly body?
Yes
I saw the nurses and doctors coming in the
room, bringing machines...I felt the tension in the room and saw what appeared
to be them frantically trying to revive this person.
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
During my NDE, I was very inquisitive as to what was going on.
During my "after NDE experiences", I was the same, wanting to hear more
music, couldn't get enough, fascinated, mystified, in awe of this loving music,
didn't want it to stop ever, wanted to always remember it. The music was love.
The chanting and "monks" and families, I felt so much sadness and love, and then
pure bliss, peace, wanting to go up more than anything, love. The family story,
I was so sad and inquisitive, and then again I felt so much happiness and
peaceful feeling and love when the woman went up to the light. I felt it, love
again.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
No
I am answering these questions according
to what happened during my actual NDE.
Did
you see an unearthly light?
No
I did during my "after NDE experiences".
I don't know if I actually saw it or just felt it, it was there, but I
don't know for sure how I knew.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or
presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
No
Again, not during my actual NDE.
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or
alive) beings?
Yes
I saw the doctors and nurses and what I
thought was a man on the hospital bed.
Did you become aware of past events in your life
during your experience?
No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
Everything
seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I wasn't thinking about time, but when I woke up the wall
on the clock was going backwards really fast.
I looked again and again to make sure I saw this and I did. I asked, but
no one else saw that.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
No
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not)
continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or
does not) exist?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to
this lifetime?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or
unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
No
What
occurred during your experience included:
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the
beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I guess I just never thought about leaving my
body and having an out of body experience, but it certainly isn't anything that
could not go along with my religious beliefs.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I remember the experience as
accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I remember my NDE as it was yesterday and
I also remember the after NDE experiences vividly.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life
after your experience:
I am more
philosophical and have a need to know more about this life and the afterlife.
I am more spiritual than I was before and love flowers, trees, birds,
dogs, etc. I planted over 100 bulbs in my otherwise "dead" yard since it is on a
slope and washes away and I marvel over each miracle that comes up! I take pics
of all of them and write poems to go with them.
I am more open to spiritual ideas and that there is a higher power,
another realm where there is a supreme intelligence to ours.
I know that "love" is the answer and that if everyone "loved" we may be
able to reach that realm, who knows. I
know what spiritual love feels like and sounds like and it is so much more than
anything here on earth. Maybe we are
placed here to learn how to love before entering "heaven". I can sit under my
trees and look up at the sky and know that there is a God above that loves us
very much and we all need to do the best we can and love as much as we can and
enjoy this world while we are here. If
you look around, there are miracles every day.
We should not "rush" to get to the other side, we should stop and smell
the roses here first. I believe there is
a "light" within each of us and we are just learning here on earth how to make
that light shine out.
My experience directly resulted in:
Moderate changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
No
Are
there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The most
meaningful part of my experiences was the love I felt between families and the
MUSIC that was love itself. I will always
remember the peaceful feeling of letting go into the light, the happiness. The
beautiful chanting that was mesmerizing....so I guess it was my "after NDE
experiences" that are the most meaningful to me.
Also, I know that when you "die" your spirit does leave your physical
body and you do go on, and you feel like yourself and there is nothing scary
about it. It just happens, and you are your "spirit" and not in your body. I
didn't get to experience going into the tunnel or seeing the light, but I wish I
had, I would have been happy to go there.
I know that because I was so inquisitive, wanting to know everything that was
going on.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other
special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?
Yes
I don't know what you would call my "after
NDE experiences", psychic? Or was I just "remembering" what I had seen when I
was clinically dead and on the other side?
The girl I work with says I always remember everything later, so maybe
that's it. But I am pretty psychic,
especially in regards to my family. I
woke up once in the middle of the night and had premonition that something bad
was going to happen to my oldest son and I started praying fervently to St.
Therese to please keep him safe.
Afterward, I tried to go to sleep but got a call from my son who told me he had
plummeted down a deep ravine off the icy interstate. He was okay, but stuck down
there after coming home at 5:30 in morning.
We had to get two tow trucks to get the car out of there and they both
said "I don't know how that car did not roll, it's just impossible, crazy." When
trying to get the car out of ravine, it kept wanting to tip over.
Imagine it going down the ravine quickly and out of control, and it did
not roll. I call it a miracle.
I also found a blouse in my room that day with beautiful bright red roses
on it. I have no idea to this day where
it came from, but it fits me beautifully and I have worn it.
Do I believe in miracles and prayer?
You bet I do! I also have gone to
the Villisca Axe Murder House with my sons and there was sooo much paranormal
activity when we were there, it was amazing!!
We all saw and heard the same things, a closet slamming shut in front of
us, doors opening and closing, and little girls talking and their feet pitter
pattering across the upstairs floor! It's
a house in Villisca, Iowa where a family of five, and two neighbor girls were
killed by an axe murderer. The crime has
never been solved and believe me, it's another story!!
Are there one or several parts of your experience
that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
The most meaningful part of my
experiences was the love I felt between families and the MUSIC that was love
itself. I will always remember the
peaceful feeling of letting go into the light, the happiness. The beautiful
chanting that was mesmerizing....so I guess it was my "after NDE experiences"
that are the most meaningful to me. Also,
I know that when you "die" your spirit does leave your physical body and you do
go on, and you feel like yourself and there is nothing scary about it. It just
happens, and you are your "spirit" and not in your body. I didn't get to
experience going into the tunnel or seeing the light, but I wish I had, I would
have been happy to go there. I know that
because I was so inquisitive, wanting to know everything that was going on.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
Yes, I told my mom and husband and
children right away. My daughter has
always been religious and very spiritual.
My two sons not as much, but now they are reading "The Source". "The Twelfth
Planet", and love Ancient Aliens. So I
think we are all seeking more knowledge now and are more in tune with our
spiritual side and want to know more and are more open to all ideas.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Uncertain
I guess I heard once in awhile, on tv or
somewhere, that someone had gone into a tunnel, seen light, or had an out of
body experience, but I didn't give it much thought.
And I certainly wasn't at the time of my NDE.
After I came back, I was focused on living and every ounce of my being
was telling my blood to flow and telling my body to live.
I then focused on the miracle and St. Therese and the rose, and my mom,
my angel that was sent. I focused on the
miracle of life itself and that my prayers had been answered.
I received my rose, and was sent a special angel, my mom, to keep me safe
and get help for me so that I was able to come home to my family, just as I had
prayed for.
What
did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks)
after it happened:
Experience was
definitely real
It happened.
I don't know if I crossed over into another realm or was on the line or
what, but it happened. I have always been
very matter of fact like when I tell others.
This is what happened, they can take it from there.
I think most people believe me.
What
do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real
I know in my heart what I saw, heard, and
felt were real. I was searching "kundalini"
on the web because I was curious about yoga for my back and that is how I came
upon these NDE sites. I didn't know there
were other people out there craving knowledge like me.
I love reading all their stories and it is just opening up my mind to all
kinds of beautiful notions, and they all tell me the same thing, the answer is
love.
Have your relationships changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Well I'm more
laid back than I used to be and would sleep in longer if I could.
I am more philosophical and spiritual.
I tend to not worry about deadlines like I used to and may miss out on
sending a birthday card on time like I always used to do.
But I think, for the most part, all of my relationships have stayed the
same or even been nourished by this new quest for knowledge and it has opened
our minds to new ideas.
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about
your experience?
I would like
to know if anyone else has ever had an "after NDE experience" like mine as I
have not read one yet. It makes me
curious as to "what" or "how" I had them, but it's a fact that I did, I know
that. The out of body experience seemed
so real and natural, I don't know what to think.
I was just there in the corner of my room watching for awhile, get over
it! ha!
Did the questions asked and information that you
provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
Please offer any suggestions that you may
have to improve this questionnaire. Are there any other questions that we could
ask to help you communicate your experience?
What could a national organization
with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to
you?
Try to find similar or slightly similar event
happenings that I had. Explore more into
the "after experiences". Also more into
the after effects of us here and now. Try
to raise more awareness that this is happening to people and that there
definitely is a higher power, and the answer is love.
Get the message out!
Please offer any suggestions that
you may have to improve this questionnaire.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate
your experience? No, you did a good
job. Thanks for letting me go on and on.
Since I was a child, I have never been able to "write a couple lines".
ha!
