Richard T's NDE
A CURIOUS INTERMISSION
SO MUCH AM I COMPELLED TO SAY
‘ERE THE TURN OF A COLD MARKED DAY,
YET, WHY SHOULD I SAY ALL THIS
WHEN I’LL NOT CARE OF WHAT AFTER IS?
FOR I AS A CHILD, WAS ONCE THERE
LOOKING BACK AT ALL WITH JUST A STARE.
NO THOUGHTS, NO CRIES, NO HEART FELT PAIN,..
JUST A SILLY HUMANS GAME.
THE PREACHER, HE, JUST CLOSED THE BOOK
AND GAZED AT ME WITH A SOLEMN LOOK,
TEARS HE COULD NO LONGER HIDE
RAN DOWN HIS CHEEKS, AS I DIED.
WHY? THOUGHT I, DID THEY ALL CRY?
WERE THEY SORRY FOR MY LOSS OF LIFE?
OH, WELL. SAY’S I, TO ME, MYSELF
AS I FLOATED OUT T’WEEN WALL AND SHELF.
SO STRANGE, THINK I, SO CURIOUSLY,
AS I LOOK BACK AT THE SPIRIT ME,
NO QUESTIONS THEN, NO NEEDS YOU SEE,
WHEN YOU ENTER WHERE NO OTHERS BE.
UP INTO CEILING BETWEEN THE FLOORS
NO DOCTORS, NURSES, NOR CARES NO MORE.
I COULD SEE THE GIRDERS GRAY WITH DUST
ALL IN A DARKNESS THAT ONE COULD TRUST.
I TURNED AND KNEW A TUNNEL BLACK,
SHOULD I ENTER? OR, NOW TURN BACK?
ALIKE THE CORD I KNEW AT BIRTH,
QUITE HESITANT; A BIT, AT FIRST.
FEET FIRST I WENT THEN DOWN INSIDE
A WHOLE LOT LIKE A TUNNEL SLIDE,
DOWN ON DOWN I SLOWLY MOVED
AFLOAT INSIDE THE CENTER TUBE.
HANDS AND FEET AGAINST IT’S SIDES
I THOUGHT MIGHT STOP MY FLOATING GLIDE.
YET, STILL FASTER DID GO I,
NO FRICTION MET ON EITHER SIDE.
‘THOUGH ALL WAS DARK, NO SIGHTS THERE SEEN,
ALL FEAR OF PAIN WENT OUT OF ME.
MY TRAVERSE THEN SLOWED AND LEVELED OUT
A LIGHT WAS SEEN REMOVING DOUBT.
FOR THIS TUNNEL HAD AN END IN STORE
IT’S AT THE MIDDLE OF ALL LIFES’ CORE.
SO QUICKLY THEN I ENTERED SPACE
A LOVE LIGHT GLOWING AT A GENTLER PACE.
THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT WITH A GOLDEN HUE
WAS SURROUND ME THERE AND FILLED ME TOO.
SUSPENDED LIFE; A CONSCIENCE NEW,
JOINED ME THERE, JUST US TWO.
NO PONDERED QUESTIONS OF MY COURSE
FOR I WAS WITH ALL LIFE’S FORCE.
THE CENTER OF NO DIMENSION SHOWN
WAS ASKING ME OF ALL I’D KNOWN.
FIRST HE ASKED IN A TRANSFERRED THOUGHT
TO RECALL ALL SORROW FROM THE LIFE I’D LOST.
AND WE TWO SHARED FOR A MOMENT THEN
AS WOULD SECRETS PASS BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS.
THEN "LET IT GO" HE SAID TO ME
SO THAT HE COULD SHARE HIS INNER PEACE.
HIS LIGHT SURROUND, IT TURNED WARM GOLD
AS HIS LOVE FOR ME WAS THEN FULL SHOWN.
HE NEXT THEN ASKED TO RECALL ALL JOY
I HAD KNOWN ‘TIL THEN AS A LITTLE BOY.
A WARMTH OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES DEAR,
FILLED ME SO TO BRING FORTH TEARS.
AT THIS HE SMILED WHILST I SHARED ALONE
FOR THIS HE SURELY, HAD ALWAYS KNOWN.
HIS NEXT PURE THOUGHT FROM HIM TO ME?
A BALANCE FOR THE WHOLE OF THEE.
AT THIS THOUGHT WE SHARED NO GLAD,
FOR THE BALANCE SHOWED SO MUCH MORE SAD.
OF LIFE? WELL, THEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WAS THE LAST HE EVER ASKED YOU SEE.
NO ANSWER DID I HAVE JUST THEN,
SO, BACK TO LIFE, I WENT AGAIN.
HIS PARTING THOUGHTS, THEY CAME TO ME,
AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A MYSTERY,..
“YOUR LIFE’S NOT DONE, YOU’VE A PURPOSE STILL,
A MISSION YOU’RE ON, YOU’VE YET TO FILL.”
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? YES and the reasons are many. First? Nobody wants to hear it and when you stumble across somebody who's open minded enough to listen there are aspects of the spatial dimension of the spirit side that no language on earth can accurately define or convey to those who haven't been there. Time and place is the hardest concept to let go of or explain not having. Still, words are not so much what makes describing an OOBE, a NDE or a NPDE (Near Permanent Death Experience) as I went through so impossible, it's the field of science we're all taught to think within that tosses up the barriers. Such experiences, notwithstanding all others such as precognitive night and day dreams, visions and astral travel, just aren't the kind of things science can slap in a jar, label and put on a shelf for later study and review. If you haven't experienced such, you're forced to "believe" those that have and the aforementioned too often conflicts with other belief and faith systems already held. So, we learn, we're even forced and coerced to keep it to ourselves.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes. I entered the hospital 16FEB1965 at 8.5 years old because I kept passing
out and didn't have the strength to walk more than a few steps without having to
lay down where I was and sleep to regain strength enough to walk a few feet
more. I was acutely anemic. My bone marrow stopped reproducing new red cells,
continued to decay from the inside out. After 11 days of IV-ing donated blood
and running every test they could think of to no avail, it was decided less
cruel to remove the IV and let me go as I wasn't responding to anything and the
hope for survival had run every course beyond all prayers. On 27FEB1965, the
other kids in my room were removed, my family came in one at a time to say
good-bye, the IV was removed and the hospital Chaplin came in to read me last
rights. He went through the rituals and got half way through Psalm 23 when I
died and left my body at which time sound stopped and telepathy took its
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I exited the dark tunnel into a blinding white light and our Creator approached me while answering every question I began to have with a single telepathic thought from Him to me which was a complete restoration of ALL knowledge. This transfer of thought/downloading of His knowledge to me allowed us both to move on to the questions He had about my life and life in general.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? The difference is pretty much the same between being dead asleep and wide awake. Conscious life is like being dead asleep. We're aware of nothing but fleeting glimpses of elusive knowledge in waking life. One the other side, all the knowledge we had before life is restored and you suddenly fill stupid after it is restored that you had any questions at all.
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: When I exited the dark tunnel, came into His Light and our Creator approached me while at the same time answering every question I began to have with a single telepathic thought from Him to me which was that complete restoration of all knowledge. This transfer of thought/downloading of His knowledge to me allowed us both to move on to the questions He had about my life and life in general.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Vision? That's a real slippery term; an earthbound reality that doesn't compare or translate well although you do continue to sense the physical environment you died in until you pass thru the dark tunnel that leaves all that behind. When I came out of the dark tunnel into the blinding light, all perceptions and senses changed. I was inside (and sensed more than saw) the spatial shape of a huge egg when I became aware of another consciousness approaching me from 12 to 1 o'clock in front and slightly above and to their right of me. As this consciousness came closer and closer He transferred a telepathic thought that told me 3 things at once. That He was the creator of all life's force and there was no doubt whatsoever that He was a He. His command was very loving and gentle, "Be at Peace." (The Egg Space I found myself in can be experienced by anyone who visits the Corning Museum of Glass at Corning, New York. They have recreated an exact full size replica that's hangs from the museum ceiling which can be entered via a skywalk. I was stunned by it's exactness when I first saw and went into it. The only difference is the visible structural ribbing inside and that it's black glass not white.)
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes What sound? It was completely silent. All communication with Him (who most call God) was telepathic not audible and thus there was no room for misunderstandings. Me? I haven't used the tiny term of "God" much since. It's way too small a word with too little meaning.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes. While the Chaplin was reading Psalm 23 my soul began to rock side to side within my body much like a boat upon slow, gentle swells. It then sank slightly below my body into the hospital bed before it began to rise up, out, away and completely disconnected from my body. I was wide awake and a tad confused that I was floating through the air, over the right shoulder of the Chaplin who had begun to cry and towards the ceiling and corner of the room. As I wondered why he was crying I suddenly realized that I was headed for that solid corner like a balloon and wondered what was going to happen when I hit it. Much to my surprise, I wasn't surprised that I passed right through it and drifted in the the dark crawl space between the ceiling and the roof or floor above my room.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure wonder, complete absence of life's concerns, love, sorrow and peace; all depending on the moment and/or review of questions during telepathic conversation and mind share I had with our creator.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes The dark tunnel IS THE PASSAGEWAY that separated all I saw and knew of the physical hospital where my life ended and what I experienced after I came out of the tunnel into the light. Science can go back and review the floor plans of the hospital and the medical records up until 27FEB1965 but, that's where the rest has to be accepted on my word alone and the words of others who've had similar experiences. And I really must insist "similar experiences" as while there may be similarities, I've found no two exactly alike. Most say this was a NDE, while I insist mine wasn't. I was dead and damned near stayed dead. Had I answered His last question as I would today, I wouldn't be writing this.
Did you see a light? Yes Here's where vision and mind and the English language throw up walls that are extremely hard to overcome using a 26 character alphabet with very limited terms of expression. At the end of the dark tunnel I exited into a blinding white egg shaped space and hovered there in this space being aware that the tunnel opening I'd just come thru was still to my right side. I was also aware of my body/spirit shape but, never looked down at it. I was surprised that although the light surround me was like looking directly into the sun, I didn't at all have to squint my eyes because of it. I was thinking that rather odd when I became aware of another consciousness approaching me from above, in front and slightly to the right of my mind. The closer He got the more I KNEW who He was. As I looked towards this approaching consciousness it had the shape of a sphere of intense consciousness and mind and can only be described by saying He looked exactly like what we see when we look at the Sun without sunglasses. God? Jesus? I immediately threw those titles out the damn window. He doesn't know of them nor use them to refer to Himself. "Creator of all life's force" is the thought He sent forth to remind me who He is. Another way of looking at it? If left alone on a desert island for 8 years you'd probably have to be reminded of who your Father was when you got back home. It's much the same.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Just the creator of all life's force which most others call God. At the risk of repeating myself, I still find that three letter word too small, insignificant and all religious definitions of Him very misleading.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Yes but, I never saw a video or imagery review of my life as others often claim and think their explanations are simply a very poor attempt to explain what did occur. The center of all life's force doesn't use Sony video recorders or DVD's to play back the significant events of anyone's life. I refuse to buy that such accounts can compare with a NPDE. I think those people came "close" to death "dreamed" and/or "invisioned" about such events but, I don't believe they were actually on the other side of life or, like myself, they would never say such things nor define it using religious terms. All the religious dogma I was taught went right out the window as if it never existed once face to face or spirit to spirit with our creator. And this is why very few religions on earth will acknowledge such events. They'd be bankrupt in a heartbeat if everyone knew the truth. Most every church, temple, mosque and synagogue on this planet would be in ruins and ignored if all knew the truth about life and the afterlife. Most would want every dime back they ever donated.
for what does occur? He simply asks, "Recall all sorrow." And He means
everything you know of that you did that hurt others and everything you didn't
realize hurt others; ALL OF IT. And at that command, your heart within your
spirit begins to slowly swell like a water balloon. As it swells the pain in
your heart increases until it becomes overwhelming and the fear of
it exploding thus banishing the remnants of your soul to all corners of the
universe and beyond begins to increase with the pain. I was lucky. When He had
seen enough and knew where allowing it to increase would go, He commanded me to
"Let it go" and "Be at Peace." And suddenly the swelling pain stopped, reversed
and relaxed again to neutral. He then surrounded and washed my soul with His
"Love Light Glowing at a Gentler Pace" the essence of which took on a more
golden hue. He had seen quite enough and so had I. His next pure thought?
"Recall all Joy." The same swelling in my heart occurred which accounted for all
the love, joy and happiness I had experienced during the 8 years of life I had
lived. There was no video replay, just the pure essence of all joy opposite of
the pure essence of all feelings of sorrow. At this He didn't ask me to stop
because it never became too intense. And a sustained moment later He again
commanded me to "Let it Go", and "Be at Peace." And again He washed and cleansed
my soul in His love light until I was at neutral again. He then asked, "Balance
the two." Balance the measure of joy against the measure of sorrow. That was an
instant no-brainer. There was so much more sad as I suspect is true with
everyone. Love and Joy during physical life is such a fleeting and elusive
nectar whilst sorrow is so much so more ever present. I think we all answer that
balance question the same yet, he had a final question. "Of Life; what do you
think?" My reply then? I shrugged in thought, "How would I know; I was only 8."
(What could I know?) He thought about that honest answer a moment then replied
with His own conclusion, "Your life's not done. You've a purpose still. A
mission you're on you've yet to fill." I awoke back in my body as the car I was
sleeping in the back seat of bounced over the gutter into our driveway far from
the time and place of the hospital room I died and never regained consciousness
in. And this is where it gets real confusing. I have very vivid memories of
every day in that hospital; of every child I shared that room with and every
test they ran on me from spinal taps to bone marrow extractions until the day I
died. I KNOW did not recover in that nor any other hospital. When I returned to
life and full consciousness, the first thing I saw was our crab apple tree
beside the driveway; it was in full bloom which never occurred in February.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? YES!!! I can explain what happened in my hospital room after the life support IV was removed, what the nurse who disconnected it said when she thought I was already dead and no one else was in the room. Her words? "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it is me!" She seemed to be glad that she was allowed to pull the IV that ended my life. I can also describe exactly what the preacher did as he performed last rights over me including at what point in Psalm 23 he stooped reading and began to cry as I floated out of my body past, above and behind him. A tear ran down the left side of his face while I floated behind him which I thought kind of odd seeing how I was behind him when the tear began. Better still? I have never seen the architectural plans for the Arden Community Hospital in Carmichael, CA but, I can very accurately draw the ceiling and roof substructure plans including girders and air conditioning ducting that exists or existed in the crawl space above room 14 and the hallway outside it. I floated up and through the corner of the room and found myself in the sub-roof space over the hallway outside and above my room. It was in this crawl space lit only by a faint light which seemed to emit from my soul that I found the opening to the dark tunnel that I traveled feet first thru then into His blinding white light.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes. The beauty I experienced was the acute awareness and feelings of pure love in which our creator bathed my soul and shared with me. Of those that claim to have seen mountains and valleys of wildflowers and fresh running rivers and/or angels and deceased relatives, 72 virgins and rivers of gold awaiting them? I have a real hard time buying any of that. Those who claim such may have experienced astral projection, had a simple hallucination, vision, night or daydream that only their religion could help them explain and so they falsely interpreted what they experienced and/or hope to some day.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Spatial perception was fuzzy but, when cornered on the thought, the space I met our Creator in, as previously said, was a large egg shaped space which is exactly, duplicated in full scale size at the Corning Museum of Glass.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes ABSOLUTELY. Our Creator telepathically transferred from His mind to mine All Knowledge so as to answer the 20 trillion questions that began to rush to the front of my mind as soon as I realized who I was standing before in spirit form. It's not detailed knowledge we can consciously have while trapped in a physical body and I'd LOVE to have access to the plane or dimension we were in that allowed me access to that knowledge again yet, the essence of it remains. It keeps me from stressing much over anything. Life is much like being in a deep sleep. Death as most don't know it is a return to full consciousness and mental aptness though' earthly concerns no longer matter.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No, I passed right through the walls and ceiling as if both didn't have solidity anymore and they didn't.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes
I have had many precognitive visions, day and reoccurring night dreams that later played them selves out in exacting detail. Some warned of danger which I was able to avoid; others of horrific events that couldn't be avoided such as the passenger jet and small plane collision that took place over our City of Cerritos while others had little to no importance; just proof that the script of my life has already been written. As Shakespeare said, "We are all just actors on a stage" acting out our parts. It's also become very clear in the decades years since my NPDE that the most powerful and richest people on this planet seem to have access to the script of my life. While many of them have approached me for my thoughts on many topics of both insignificantly small and global events they also seem to be under some horrific threat not to tell me anything about that which they already know. That my life is being closely watched and monitored by many great and powerful people has become all too obvious. Just as obvious as some unspoken instruction they all have NOT to interfere with my life's path as well. Here's a tidbit. I'm a nobody in the great scheme of things and never wanted to be. I have zero aspirations to rise to any level of power over anything or anyone at any time. I'm not a control freak and abhor those that are. I consider myself an international citizen and only hold a US Passport because it's the country I was born in NOT the country I'D prefer to claim as my homeland. I do NOT agree with this countries foreign policies which are controlled by war caterers and the mega rich who only seek to get richer. Yet, oddly, back in the late 80s William Randolph Hearst, Jr., one of the nicest mega rich people I've ever had the pleasure to know asked me who I thought most deserved the noble peace prize. I said, Mikhail Gorbechov. While perhaps an easy guess, I was taken aback when he was later named.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes Precognitive visions which only I had prior now seem to be sharable with those standing near me and/or with those emotionally attached to me afterwards. If you don't want to see unexpected visions of future events, stand off and away from me and/or don't get emotionally attached to me or you might start seeing things too that you can't explain. It's not a bad thing but, can be scary if you don't understand what's occurring. I refer to it as both a blessing and a burden and it's often hard to decide which it is when. An example? There were three others, Bob, his brother Rick and a mutual friend named Ted who were with me when we saw the passenger jet explode and fall to the ground over the Los Angeles area 10 years before it actually happened. We were so convinced that we'd just witnessed an air crash that we all went home to catch the news to see why it happened. There was nothing on the news and nothing in the papers the next day. We were stunned then that no one else had witnessed it and that it wasn't in the news. How can a passenger jet break up over the Los Angeles area and then vanish as if it never happened. It didn't make any sense at all until it happened directly over my neighborhood Ten Years After.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes but, like most others, I've learned it's largely a waste of time as it scares most people. It totally attacks the belief systems they hold and people seem to love their beliefs no matter how bogus. Me? I don't have to believe in beliefs anymore and haven't had to since. I know what's true and what isn't. Religion is based in truths but, quickly shrouds itself again in fanciful stories and mysteries that have no basis in fact, truth or any meaningful significance. Religion is a comfortable place of mind for those that really don't want to face the truth. They're taught they don't need further data so long as they have "faith" in the things their church tells them regardless of the fact that there are answers to the questions they ask. Others? The more they get to know me and others with similar experiences, the further away they seem to need to get. Honesty is a horrible thing and only an honest person can force others to face honesty. Haven't met many that can face honesty but, I can be nothing but honest as I know the pain we face before our creator when we have to face all our dishonesty at once. I'm not going thru that much pain again and the only way to limit it is to remain completely honest at all and any cost. And it's been my experience when you do that a strange thing occurs. You become free of the mental burdens that dishonesty adds to your life and you become a lie detector machine of sorts. Quite unintentionally, others seem to be attracted to this. You become their ground wire; a walking confessional. You'd be shocked at what strangers have confessed to me capping their horrors with; "I don't know why I'm telling you this?!! I've never told anyone what I just told you!" Just another part of why I consider all this both a blessing and a burden. It's part of why I became a non denominational emergency crisis Chaplin. What I've hear is thus confidential.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: The experience immediately changed everything. The acute consciousness known on the other side can in no way be compared to waking life in a human body. The awareness is so much greater on the other side that this life becomes the dream we wake up from when we leave this body in the junk yard and are finally free to breathe in spirit form again. Directly after my experience, I was shunned by everyone I'd previously known. Doors slammed in my face when I went to visit my friends and was NOT AT ALL encouraged to discuss where I'd been. I said things that scared ALL adults surround me to death. My mother reported years later that the first thing I said to my Dad upon returning is that "God made me His Son too and sent me back." From that statement forward, my father never again hugged me and that was quite contrary to his affection before the event. To this day, he still won't touch me and rarely talks deeply about anything. All contact has been reduced to an occasional rare handshake which I really thought odd as a child. The experience has taken on more and more meaning as the years and decades since have passed. I want to know all the details of what they did with my body while I was on the other side but, everyone who knows refuses to discuss it as if the answers are too horrid to contemplate. Even the blind can sense the horror in their minds when I bring the topic up. The more I get this reaction the more it forces me to ask; what did you do with my body after I left it? I finally located the doctor whose cared for me from old bills found after my mother passed away. Three queries have been sent to him but, he refuses to reply and I know damned well he hasn't forgotten the 8 year old boy who died under his care when he first became a doctor. My mother always hated the subject, my father refuses to discuss it and my older sister becomes frantic when I ask her what happened here on earth while I was on the other side. She will only say, "You're not suppose to know." So, all I do know, is that this side of life is the dream. What we call death is an awakening after a very long restless sleep. My life is anchored to that event and the further time takes me from it the more significant it becomes. It's far more real than physical life.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Oh, YES. All of it changed my life completely after being restored (resurrected?) to life by our creator. (I have to add the word "resurrected" because my body was completely destroyed and that's the only English word that defines being raised from the dead and restored to life after the body has decayed.) The answers religion stuffed in my head suddenly became absurd. It was quite obvious afterwards that no religion on earth had the first clue and they don't want to look at the truth where it can be had. They vehemently ignore those of us who know the truth in exchange for the cash they get from pretending they know all the answers they can't possibly know. Quite simply, their answers prove they know nothing. And while most religious people are of very good intention, heart and soul; those that design the religions they adhere or claim to adhere to are, in my opinion, not. For me, its quite possible to have a very close understanding of or relationship with our Creator without giving a middle man 10% of your pay each week. For those seeking reality based answers, you're going to discover more of them by combing through websites like this than by memorizing and religious books.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: My
experience was definitely real. It was a "Zoogle" times more real than the
keyboard I'm staring at as I type right now. (A Google is the number one
followed by a million zero's. To explain a Zoogle (infinity) mathematically, I
had to run to the end of our alphabet to the letter Z and coin the term Zoogle.
A Zoogle is the number one followed by an infinite number of zero's. 'Got a
mathematician who wants to express a Zoogle in writing? Have them start writing
it out and we'll check in on how they're doing a Zoogle eon's from now, eh?
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. Sadly, I've never met a girl than can keep up with me mentally and it's not that I'm smarter than every woman out there; I just don't think the same as anyone else. I don't think I'm alone though. For those that have been on the other side and back, life is forever changed. It's extremely difficult to talk deeply with others without the profound changes it has had on your thinking coming up and altering the conversation in a direction no one can or wants to follow. I have discussed this with some but, find most just roll their eyes and say, yeah, I've heard of that but, don't believe in it. To which I often say, well, put it this way. If a UFO landed in your backyard and you went up and kicked the tires, talked with the aliens who came out to ask why you were kicking their spaceship and then they flew off before you could call your friends or take pictures, you'd no longer have to "believe" in UFO's and those that fly them. You'd KNOW they're real but, everyone you told would have to "believe" you. You'd know "for sure, for sure" but, they never would unless the same happened to them. It's much the same with this topic albeit, astral projection, visions, precognitive and sometimes recurring night or day dreams, NDE's or, as I insist mine was, NPDE's.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. I've shrugged off religion immediately after. I found that what they tried teaching me about heaven and hell wasn't true at all. The Creator never asked me what brand of religion I was reared with. He never asked if I knew and accepted some guy named Jesus as my savior. Religion was most remarkably absent from both our concerns and it has remained absent from my life since. And I don't miss it. I don't "need" it. I do accept and quote often the good thoughts each religion has to offer but, I'd adhere to none of them. The ever present reminder that one day I'm going to be forced again to review the pains and sorrows of my life forces me to keep them as few as humanely possible until then. It was tough enough after just 8.5 years but, at least since, I've been armed with the kinds of things I'll have to face when I die again and don't get sent back. In light of that thought? If I've offended your beliefs, expectations or accumulated knowledge herein, I apologize for that but, it was not intentional. Much as I hate to say it, for those that haven't had such an experience this is like a religion which means you have to believe it's true without knowing it is. Thus, this is a religion of sorts but, it's based on events that have verifiable points in today's world. It's not something you can't research because it happened 2000 years ago and no evidence remains.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No. Only death again will produce the same experience and when that occurs, I'm
going to tell Him what I thought of having to come back! If He skips to the
question, Well, Of life? What do you think? I'm going to tell Him straight up,
"You want to know what life's like? How about you go back and pick mine up,
whilst I stay here and check people in. And O, by the way? When you come back, I
won't bother to ask you what you thought of it! Boy, did I screw up by saying,
"I don't know, I was only 8." Now I have to go through death a second time. Not
that death is painful, it isn't. It's actually quite pleasant but, you can't go
around telling people how pleasant it is or everyone would rush to experience
it. And that may be why it's so hard to describe. Maybe He doesn't want those
that know telling others?
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Hold an annual seminar in which others like myself are the speakers with an audience of those who aren't afraid of the answers they'll get to their questions.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? That's a tough question. There isn't enough time in any life span to accurately explain all that changes during and after such an event. There are simply those that know and those that don't; those that think they know and those that will always want to know more and refuse to stop asking questions no matter how many different answers they get. The questions and answers are as infinite as the expanse of the universe. But, if you mean, should you add more Q's to this web form? No, yours is as complete as any I've visited. For those websites that ask have you ever been in a mental institution? That's common of those that don't answer questions "normally." And if you've had a NDE or NPDE as I have, you'll NEVER answer questions "normally" again. The real question? Did they find any reason to keep you in a mental hospital? To that question, my answer is NEVER. I have amazed many shrinks in my time by answering their mental tests in a manner that went far beyond all previous respondents and walked out leaving them pondering their life's career choice. I've done the same with police, attorney's and judges too. None of them want any part of arguing with me in a formal environment but, trust me, their lives were all significantly changed after talking with me on and "off the record."
And I still insist there's a HUGE difference between NDE's and the NPDE experience I went through. I did die. I did not recover in that hospital before returning home and there's a huge chunk of missing time between dying in that hospital 27 February 1965 and returning home near 22 March 1965. As said I have very conscious memory of every day in that hospital and the days leading up to death. But, of the 3-4 weeks that followed until I regained consciousness at home; my mind is blank as if it has been erased. Weird stuff. Just weird.
To "better" explain the "unexplainable" erased memory of how I returned to life from this event, I've been forced to consider those that have questioned me since who have alluded to a possibility that makes all of us shudder and roll our minds eyes at. And this has to do with what we call UFO's although I'm convinced there is no such thing: all have been identified. Thus, they are IFOs to those inside our governments that have torn those we've captured apart and reverse engineered the technologies found within that we can figure out and reproduce with the limited elements we have at our disposal on this planet.
That said? Consider the stranger from Naval Intel who mysteriously appeared at my discharge hearing in San Diego back in 1981. This man walked in and cleared the entire room with one wave of his hand never saying who he was nor why he came. He wanted to be alone with me and no one dared argue his command to exit the hearing room leaving me alone with him. After all the other officers had scattered like roaches out into the hall, this man locked the door and came back to lean on the table I was seated at. To this day I shudder at the look he had in his eyes and I can still see the fresh pin holes in his uniform shirt where his name tag had been before he removed it before entering the room. This man leaned hard on the table and stared into my eyes even harder as if he were looking at an alien or trying to read the thoughts in my mind as if he stared hard enough, he'd be able to. If he read anything from staring into my eyes like that, all he could have gotten from me were three thoughts. 1. "Who the "heck" are you?!!" 2. "What did I put in my entrance apps that you seem to have a serious problem with?!!" 3. "Why did you remove your name tag so that I wouldn't ever know who you are?" Those were my only thoughts as he stared at me with an intensity I still find very disturbing 28 years later.
This man had three questions for me and they were scarier than mine yet, I was under orders and the rules of the UCMJ to answer direct questions with direct answers or face imprisonment for refusing to. His questions which I could not and did not answer were to me, completely insane. Put yourself in my place and try to grasp these questions.
1. Do you even know you're famous?
2. How did YOU get into OUR military?
3. WHAT planet DID YOU come from?!!
I refused to answer any of his questions feeling I'd be better off saying nothing rather than trying to make up answers I didn't have. I knew I was facing 4 years in Leavenworth for refusing to answer a superior officers direct questions but, I simply had no other choice. He stared at me after each of his absurd questions for what seemed an eternity thinking he might get answers if only he stared into my soul through my eyes long enough. All he got was blank stare of confusion which said, "Are you actually serious? What the "heck" kind of questions are these?"
Oh, he was serious all right. If nothing else, that man was drop dead serious. Finally, he unlocked and opened the door and waved the others back into the room saying, "Let him go. He's not going to tell us anything." This strange officer from Naval Intel walked out and I never saw him again but, that was just the beginning of a series of strange events that followed.
I was released from the Navy four years early. They paid off my car and stuffed a civilian bank account with money as overpayments and refused to take the money back when I tried to tell them they had overpaid me at discharge by a massive amount. In exchange for that, they have now received 28 years of civilian service for I do not accept money I will not or did not earn. I suspect now, they knew that then and that was the intended purpose. The money I saved our court system by forcing Ted Kazcinski (alleged Unibomber) to accept the plea bargain on day 2 of jury selection, way more than paid them back for the money they stuffed in an account with my name on it back in the spring of 1981.
The point? I've heard the closing scene to the film Close Encounters in which a child was returned to his mother via a return IFO was based on an actual event that occurred on a southwest Air Force base. I'm also aware of the EGG shaped IFO that buzzed two Japanese commercial pilots as it raced eastbound over the Pacific Ocean on 22March1965CE and of the later 1965 incident in which Officer Zamora of Socorro, New Mexico encountered the same craft and two occupants standing outside of it in the desert. The symbols his report noted on the side of the craft are the same strange symbols I used to droodle as a child many years before ever seeing copy of his report.
This forces me to consider that I may be that child depicted in the film only I was 8 years old at the time and wasn't sucked through a doggie door as the film depicts. I left this world in the usual way and have to consider that I was returned to it in thee most unbelievable way. It sounds just as crazy to me as it does anyone else but, it's thee only shoe that fits.
The only questions it doesn't answer are thee strangest questions I've ever been asked. "Why if you're back, doesn't the whole world know it? Why if you're back are you hiding?" With this posting and others on other websites, it seems pretty obvious to me that I'm not trying to hide from anyone nor any thing.
Weirder still? Only those who can actually see the human aura seem to know what those last two questions in the above paragraph mean. And you'd all be shocked at how many see beyond the visible light spectrum to include the human aura. My experiences so far have proven those people so gifted to be less than one percent of those that claim they can. Those who actually can see the human aura have a real bad habit of gasping for breath and/or going into shock when they first see me in a crowd but, none will say why. What they see seems to scare them to muteness. Only the female who asked me the above two questions has ever been brave enough to step forward after seeing my aura. While she refused to say what she actually saw, she spent more than a half an hour while our dinner arrived and went cold insisting, "You KNOW what I'm taking about! Why do you pretend that you don't? Again and again she'd demanded to know, "Why if you're back, doesn't the whole world know? Why is your being back a secret?"
I'd have written her off as being luney tunes but, her husband who introduced her to me was a retired Air Force officer out of the NASA-AIMS research center at Mountain View, California. He was no dummy and he didn't pull me aside, invite me to dinner with his wife just to mess with my mind.
And finally? Those who know me, know I'm pretty good at writing poetry in letter form when I have a request of someone who doesn't know me and would toss my letter of request in the trash if I didn't approach them in the most unique manner possible. I have no formal education in writing and can't explain where this very fluid and seemingly natural ability comes from. I write in an Olde English style that many have said I'd best understand by reading psalm 45 which I find interesting yet, I'm not much of a Bible thumper.
Longer point made shorter? I went back to an old neighborhood looking for an old friend from high school. Her parents still lived in the same house and invited me in when I knocked on their door and asked if their daughter still lived in the area. She was expected at their home shortly and so we made small talk while waiting. As we compared notes and they tried to remember me from 10 years before, we got to chatting about a children's book of nursery rhymes I had written. After sharing with them a few, they stopped me and my friends mother asked, "Did you ever write a poem for and send it to the Hearst Family in New York hoping to see their castles at Wyntoon in California?" I was shocked. I had but it was never made public. That was between myself and William R. Hearst, Jr. When she realized that I had, she next asked, "Did you also write a poem about an antique Mickey Mouse watch and send it to Disneyland hoping to get the watch fixed?" Now I was dumbfounded. How could she know about both when they were privately sent from extreme northern California to New York and southern California at separate times to separate places for vastly different reasons? When I said, "YES! I did but, how would you know about either of them?" When she realized that I was the one who wrote both poems, she gasped in shock disbelief, covered her mouth with the back of her hand to hold back a scream that she couldn't let out for lack of breath and jumped backwards into her own kitchen wall with a bang. Her eyes flared open wide and she couldn't speak. Her husband panic'd and said, "You need to leave right now!" and rushed me out of their house before my friend arrived.
That incident has yet to be explained to me.
As the Beaver would say in that old TV show, "Go figure Wally."Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Yes! Ask the question, Would you be willing to speak and answer audience questions at a conference about such experiences?
Are there any other sources of information available which supports any of the answers you have given or the conclusions your answers might lead others to consider? Yes, there is an answer out there for all the "Walley's" who have figured the math in every direction who are now considering what I have been forced to consider. There's video tape available from the Federal Documents Clearing House that has a comment in it that should have shocked the world to it's core when it was first released, yet very few seem to have caught the statement made by England's most distinguished forensic anthropologist, Dr. Richard Neaves who has no dog in this hunt and nothing to gain by making the statement that he did. Their phone number is 800 266-6397 which oddly is CNN NEWS. The tape is titled, The Mystery Of Jesus. In that one hour special report which CNN occasionally re-airs, Dr. Richard Neaves is given a 2000 year old skull from the area Jesus lived in and he's asked to apply a clay face to it so that viewers can see what someone from Jesus' neighborhood and time might have looked like. He works on the model while the program runs. When the face is finished comments are made that it looks nothing like the images we have and mass produce of Jesus to-day; to which he makes a stunning comment. He reminds everyone again that the face is only the likes of someone Jesus might have known or have recognized from his day and geographic area. It was never meant to resemble Jesus Himself. Dr. Neaves then adds, "I have a few friends who know this isn't what Jesus looks like because they have taken a photograph of Him just three weeks ago." It takes a moment for his comment to sink in. A man of his station, education and background isn't going to refer to friends that mirror the insanity of David Koresh, Charlie Manson, Jim Jones, Warren Jeffs nor any other who claimed to be the 2nd coming of Christ. At the time this program first aired, Dr. Richard Neaves had contact data posted online which freely gave his address at the University in the United Kingdom at which he teaches forensic anthropology. I sent him copy of a photo I had taken at the same time his friends referred to. My photo was a match to theirs. After comparing the photo I had taken to his friends, his contact data was immediately pulled from the web and he is no longer available to the public for further comment.
As for the blood issue that caused the above event? The City of Hope research hospital in Duarte, California took me in as a patient in the late 60s to try to discover what was wrong with my blood. Their research which continued into the late 80s discovered that I am thee only known case of Hemolytic Anemia G6PD Alhambra; a title they created based on what they discovered and the city I was living in when their research began. Dr. Ernest Buetler who pioneered the lab work stated in his first report that it was a hereditary disease of Mediterranean extraction that didn't currently exist in any other known living person. And that's an odd marker in that my alleged family is not descended from that geographic area. Dr. Ernest Buetler is to-day, the Head Professor and Chairman of Molecular Biology and Experimental Medicine (MEM 215) at the Skripps Institute at La Jolla, California. There is no higher position in the field than his to-day.
All the foregoing leaves me with the most bewildering questions of all. Is it possible that Christ could have returned, regardless of how, not knowing who or what He is? What do they say Jesus went around asking others? The ultimate question of all. "Who do you say I am?" It is also said that, "He will speak in riddles." In to-day's world, if He couldn't perform the magic tricks religion claims in their myths about miracles, He would be forced to.