Renate NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
           
I had already had severe asphyxiation episodes which had led to unconsciousness. The doctor whom I contacted told me it was all due to hysteria. These episodes began in April 1992 and lasted 10 years, until finally I was diagnosed as histamine-intolerant and allergic to certain substances. Today I have an allergy specialist who has diagnosed me as “anamnesis Type I Allergy to local anesthesia” to include oral allergies with anaphylactic reactions up to inhalation allergies like histamines - and I am fructose-intolerant. So now I have a medical emergency order and an adrenalin pen.

None of this was known by the doctors before so they kept giving me the wrong medications. My health in general was very bad. On that day, my youngest daughter was 10 months old, my son was three years old, my eldest daughter 5 and a half years old - I began succumbing to asphyxiation and fell unconscious. I collapsed into a total darkness, and had no awareness. I had been holding my younger daughter while on the staircase and I fell down the stairs landing on the floor still holding her. A voice said to me that I should sit Anna immediately down on the stairs, which I did. Then everything went black.

The next thing I remember was floating up by the ceiling. I saw baby Anna sitting on the step where I had placed her. My body had fallen down the whole set of stairs and was lying at the foot of the staircase. My little boy came over and bent over me and started screaming “Mama, Mama!” The eldest daughter stood in shock and immobile by my body and couldn’t say a word. Both of them are now 22 and 24 years old and will talk about how shocking it was to see me lying there on the ground, not breathing. Then I was drawn into a tunnel. It was narrow but didn’t have hard walls. I was pulled through this tunnel. At the other end was an incredible bright warm white light, but it wasn’t blinding. There stood a being with a beautiful face and everything around him was bright light, but the being didn’t have wings. I knew it was an angel and he emanated so much love. The whole area was beautiful and bright and warm and I knew I was back home again. I can hardly describe how light I felt. I felt so comfortable and had no labored breathing and no pain and everything was so light and clear. I knew everything without having to be told. The being looked lovingly at me and I saw myself from inside. One is not judged over there, but one does see one’s inner self and knows exactly how one should be doing things differently and how much one needs to better oneself. One feels so ashamed before one’s mistakes that one made in life without anybody else pointing out these mistakes. I did not hear the voice of the being, he communicated with me telepathically directly into my head. He told me it would be better if I returned.

Because of the children, since they didn’t have anybody else who would take care of them as well as I. Also the spirit world would need me to complete a mission for them while back on earth. But I would have preferred to stay in this place where everything was so peaceful and I was no longer sick. The being told me it was my choice. I thought about it again and decided to go back because of the children who still needed me. The next thing I was back in my body but if felt as though I was wearing a dress that was 2 sizes too small for me. Instantly I experienced acute difficulty breathing along with heart pain and everything hurt me from my fall down the stairs. I tried to stand up which I finally did. I was sure that an angel had followed me into this world. I could see him. He took me and helped me to my feet. My little daughter was still sitting on the step so this experience couldn’t have lasted that long since a 10-month old child doesn’t stay put for very long. But it seemed like hours that I had been gone. Afterwards I collapsed several times more. Mostly I experienced the exact same thing as described above: I went through the tunnel into a light and an angel was waiting there, this after I had floated for a while by the ceiling. Except twice I came into an unbelievably beautiful meadow with flowers whose colors can’t be found on earth. The light being was already there waiting for me. He was always so friendly and loving and full of warmth. He took me over the meadow to a city surrounded by old stone walls. We went through a gate and then the angel led me to a place with fountain and a spectacular primordial olive tree. There was also a bench where we sat down. The angel looked at me and said, here is where you will receive a lot of knowledge which you will need for your upcoming task. I was not told what the task would be. Then the angel gave me some water from the fountain to drink and all at once I knew everything. It was a real chore to return to this life on earth. There everything is so warm and light I and the colors so intense and I knew that I was home, without a doubt. But I also saw that I couldn’t leave my children to stay in this carefree place. The angel sent me back over the meadow and into my body. Since then I have a constant homesickness for that place but know that I will return there once my mission is complete.

Three years after my first NDE I found that I could heal with my hands. Even before that  I often new what was coming in the near future or that I was needed in a certain place and time to help someone. I had always been in tune. I see auras and also can see what is happening somewhere else in that moment. I see dead people sometimes who want to help living relatives and they send me to them. In one case I healed a lung tumor in one day which had just been diagnosed the week before. Two days later I called the patient who told me the doctors had examined her again and no signs of the tumor could be found. The patient was then cancer free for 5 years without any kind of therapies. But I had to tell her that she had to change her life: she had to get out of her difficult family situation otherwise she would only live long enough to see her youngest son graduate. And that would have been in five years. But she didn’t have the strength to make the change. Shortly after her son graduated she started feeling ill. The cancer had returned and she died within 6 months.

I have healed many times, healed broken bones and other things. I always had angelic help and guidance. I always ask my patients not to tell others who healed them because I want to lead a normal life away from any limelight. My three children are grown and college graduates. All three of them inherited my allergy problems. I spend a lot of time creating recipes that will help them with their health problems and give them good quality of life. But I can’t heal their illnesses. I teach them that despite health problems they should never give up because there are always new cures and being physically handicapped is a way to further develop yourself and show yourself and others the possibilities of true spiritual possibilities.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?         Yes     Words fail to describe the experience.  The intensity of feelings and perceptions, the depth of love that one feels over there cannot be described in words.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?         Yes      Anaphylactic shock, asphyxiation as a reaction to medications along with undiagnosed allergies to foods.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?       The whole time

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            The whole time

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?   Yes     

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?              Yes      One does not hear with the ears. Telepathic communication happens directly through the head.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?       Love, joy, unending lightness, being home again.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?      Yes      I was pulled through a tunnel. It was narrow and not hard. I went through it very fast but didn’t feel fear or uncertainty.

Did you see a light?  Yes      So very bright but not blinding. A being of light stood in the light, a kind of angel. His face was wonderful with beautiful contours. He was wearing a robe made of white light. The robe and his hair didn’t have any sharp edges, it was just shimmering white light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?     Yes      A being of light, most likely a kind of angel. He was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel in the white light. Face clearly contoured and wonderful, hair and robe made of shimmering white light. I had the feeling that he knew me and was happy to see me. It filled me with awe. He emanated so much love, goodness and wisdom. I would have to call him all powerful, in our limited language. He communicated with me telepathically - which means I did not hear his voice, he spoke directly into my head.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?            No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes      Both of my older children confirmed what I saw as I was hovering over my body at ceiling level: my youngest son bending over me and calling “Mama, Mama!” and my 5-year old daughter standing near my body but too much in shock to move. Both remember still today exactly this scene. Michael knows he bent over me and saw that I wasn’t breathing. That’s when he panicked and began screaming for me. He was only three years old but describes in exact detail how my body was lying inert at the bottom of the staircase. Christina, 5 years old, also describes exactly the situation and her shock. Exactly as I saw it from the ceiling. I couldn’t help them though as they were going through this.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     
See number 3. Several times a bright light, twice a place at the end of the tunnel with a pretty meadow and lovely flowers and an old city with a fountain and an olive tree. The angel brought me there.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?           Yes     
You get the feeling there is no time over there. This NDE didn’t last long but I had the feeling that I spent hours in that other world. Making the decision itself seemed to last an hour. Space is not the same as here. It seems unending over there.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?       Yes     
I again knew why I had taken on earthly form and what is really important in this physical world, namely to help others and to give as much love as possible to your family and to others. I also knew that I was my children’s guardian angel. I was supposed to give them a good home and teach them important things that they would take with them on their way: that the world is much more that what science says it is. I had to teach them about which morals are important as they lead to the ability to help others be happy. And that the only thing we take with us when we die is the love we have shared with others. And I was told I had another mission to fulfill. Three years later I found I could heal, see the future, be in two places at once, that I must be of help, and that I can see auras.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?          No      
I was put in front of the wall by the angel. He said it would be better for me to return to take care of my children and finish my mission. But I had a choice to go on farther. I knew if I did that there would be no turning back. I would have preferred to go on but knew I wasn’t finished with things on earth. I wasn’t forced to return, I chose it.

Did you become aware of future events?  Uncertain
I described for the children was life would be like for them had I not returned. It’s as though I saw it in a movie.   That my mother would be so forlorn  without me, that my father wouldn’t care for her but instead would immerse himself in his music hobby and spend time with his friends.    

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?    Yes     
Healing abilities, seeing auras, seeing the future, being in two places at once. In this way I can see who needs my help and it always proves to be true.

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes     
It was about 2 years before I spoke about it. I mentioned it to my doctor but he said I was imagining it all. My husband didn’t believe me. He finally changed his mind when I healed his broken ribs a year later. I told my mother and she asked me to see a psychiatrist right away.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?     Uncertain      
Once I heard about it on TV. Since I thought it was all hogwash I only watched for 10 minutes.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real     
The experience was more real than anything else that I have lived on earth. I have not changed my mind on this.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    
The feeling of unending love that exists over there. The knowing that you are finally home. I no longer fear death and know exactly that  I am returning to that place as soon as my task is done here. I have never experienced in this lifetime anything remotely close to the overwhelming love and wisdom over there. This happened 19 years ago and has not lessened.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:        Experience was definitely real       
This experience exists outside of time and accompanies one and is always present - it imprints itself on how one lives life. My life changed completely, not on the outside, but within. The tasks that I was supposed to fulfill began to come to pass three years after.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     
I am having increasing difficulties with “poisonous” or superficial relationships. I have fewer friends since I don’t stay in contact with superficial or hateful friends. People waste so much time and energy otherwise. It’s better to be around love and people who are loving.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No      

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes     
More anaphylactic shocks which led to NDEs. See number 3.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       I think a lot about these experiences. In hindsight I would say my life would be so much less full without having had the experiences. They changed my way of seeing things, the way of looking at morality, what is important in life and what isn’t. The things I do I do because they are the right things to do and not to get recognition. It’s important to live one’s life in this manner so that one does not carry shame into the light.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?      Yes     
This gave me the opportunity to talk about seeing the light and the angel and the meadow and the city, which I saw twice. I was able to describe the knowledge and new perceptions and possibilities in this questionnaire.