Pamela J NDE

edited for clarity by Judy Shea  

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I went into labor and then had to have an emergency C-section. It went bad. I was drowning in the fluids of my own body and from the child birth. I was a chain smoker and I couldn't breathe. Then I saw a bright white light - beautiful, peaceful - and I was being drawn into the light, but I was being held back for some reason, like it was not my time. I heard the nurse say, "Show her baby to her; it could be for the last time."  I didn't want to "come back" to life. Where I was it was so peaceful and I wanted to stay there, I was not afraid. Six years later, I had another child and that erased the fear of death for me. I had a daughter. I had no problem with the pregnancy. When I had the near death experience, I became a believer, but not a strong believer. My husband was humbled, he hadn't believed in God or heaven much at all.  Since that time, there have been more hurtful and painful experiences in my life, and I wonder why I was not allowed to die on May 28, twenty-three years ago, only to be left here living a life of emotional hell.  But I understand; I have a greater purpose, and that is to live the best life I can, no matter what happens on Earth. I watch life around me and wonder about how pathetic people are, and how their lives would/could be so much better if they would just let go of their egos and let the love of our God lead their hearts and heal their pain.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes.    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was aware of dying as I was pulled toward the light. It was so blissful and peaceful. I was so calm. I didn't want to go "back" but I was told to. I saw my grandmother's essence and it felt like she was saying, "Not now, go back." I was sad. I didn't want to be back here.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal.

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:             I was aware of dying as I was pulled toward the light. It was so blissful and peaceful. I was so calm. I didn't want to go "back" but I was told to. I saw my grandmother's essence and it felt like she was saying, "Not now, go back." I was sad. I didn't want to be back here.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes.     Somewhat, in terms of solidness/transparency of objects, but colors were the same, and brightness and depth, all the same.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peaceful, calm, quiet, restful, interested, observant, loving, accepting.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes.     It was bright, peaceful, comforting, not blinding, greeting, welcoming.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain.      I felt it was my mother's mother....her essence.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain.      I saw a heavenly environment which had a feeling of oneness.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes.     I know when something BIG is going to happen a day before it happens.

I knew 9/11 was going to happen the week before it happened and I told a lot of people a something BIG and very BAD is going to happen soon. Again, I have thought this the days before recent floods, and before plane crashes ....I just know.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes.     It is hard for others to understand....except for Christians or others with a near death experience.

Some people think it's just brain activity which takes place at the time of trauma. That disgusts me - they think they know, but they don't understand.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real.    I was pulled back. And later I was told there had been a prayer chain from Massachusetts to New Jersey started by my family members and friends...everyone was told I was dying during child birth.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?   

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real.    I just know. And I've explained this above.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I feel left out, because most look at me as if I am not "with them." I have stopped telling my story, unless people are really interested, or I might mention it if I've heard  similar near death stories...like the ones on TV or the book 90 Minutes in Heaven.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     Much better. I learned so much from it.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        My son needs to understand at a deeper level what happen to me when he was born. I needed to bring this story to light somehow, for him. 

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes