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Natalie S NDE

Application of Impossible Things by Natalie Sudman.  Click here for the book.

 

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

This is excerpts from ""Application of Impossible Things,"" a book I wrote about my experience, published by Ozark Mountain Publishing in 2012. Some names have been changed to protect others' privacy.) 

I had just closed my eyes, hand propping up my head, elbow on the door handle. It was the end of a long day of construction site visits and now only a few minutes out from base. I’d long ago quit paying attention to what was passing by outside the window and had lost track of how far we were from the rest of our security convoy. This personal security team seemed to travel with a half kilometer or more of road between wagons, and I hadn’t seen the Iraqi police escort for a while. Not knowing the two security men in the front seats well, I hadn’t chatted with them. Some men prefer to rivet their attention on the environment; they weren’t talking with each other, so I felt they might not welcome questions or comments from me. The team was running on closed mic, a stupifyingly dull way to travel in the back seat of an armored Land Cruiser, cut out of the chatter of hyper-aware security men informed by multiple sets of alert senses. As a passenger, I’d hit the familiar point of being artificially lulled into boredom. 

I was in the truck, head on hand, half asleep, and then I was not [the roadside bomb went off]. I’ll call this instantaneous movement blinking from one place to another, for lack of a better word.  

In this new environment, I stood on an oval dais looking rather intrepid in my bloody and torn fatigues, slouching a bit, dirty and darkly tan, addressing thousands of white-robed beings or personalities. They were arrayed up and all around me as if I stood in the center of a huge stadium, the dais on which I stood being perhaps twenty feet in diameter.  

The personalities were non-physical in essence, taking on form if they intended to do that for a particular purpose. I perceived the way they looked according to what I preferred for my purposes. At the time, since I had been abruptly transferred from the physical plane, it was simpler to perceive them in a human form, wearing glowing white robes.  

Most of these thousands were familiar to me, and all were my equal regardless of their admiration for my latest silly feat on earth. (How intrepid is it, really, to choose to get blown up?) I knew the Gathering to be a meeting of many groups representing a wide variety of interests and responsibilities pertaining not only directly to earth and physical universe energies but to dimensions and issues beyond. 

The concept that I first communicated was that I was tired and had no interest in returning to the physical plane. I understood that the decision was mine, and at this point my decision was to end my physical existence. 

Immediately after that, or perhaps more accurately folded within it, I presented what seems from my current physical body/conscious mind perception to be a transfer of information in the form of an inexplicably complex matrix. The information was minutely detailed and broadly conceptual—at once layered and infinitely dense, yet elegantly simple. It included events, thoughts, incidents, individuals, and groups in all their relationship complexities: stories, concepts, connections, nuances, layers, judgments, and projections. It included kinetic equations and dimensions and symbols and flows. Rather than being a classic life-flashing-before-the-eyes scene, this download was a collection that emphasized what might be very broadly understood as cultural and political information. I was aware that I deliberately offered the condensed data in fulfillment of a request that had been made by this Gathering of personalities prior to my taking on this body for this physical lifetime.  

While the personalities digested the matrix I’d made available, I was again amused by the admiration that was sent back to me. They were clearly impressed not only with my Raiders of the Lost Ark appearance but also by the depth and breadth of information I was providing. Yet I perceived the task as an easy one and the information obvious, therefore, unworthy of admiration. 

When the thought form or matrix had been absorbed by everyone, which took but seconds, discussions proceeded among the various groups and within the whole of the Gathering. This may seem impossible considering there were thousands present, but it was not. No overlaps occurred, no interruptions took place, no misunderstandings formed, and disagreements were respectfully and thoughtfully engaged and resolved. All communication was accomplished through thought. 

They then requested that I return to my physical body to accomplish some further work. I was given to understand that my particular skills with energy were needed at this time and would be effective only were I actually present in a body within the earth vibration. I replied that I was willing, but given my level of exhaustion and disinterest in the difficulties of this particular physical life to date, I requested that certain assistance be provided within that continued physical existence. 

While we all digested some details, I retreated to a deep place that I’ll refer to as another vibrational dimension, for lack of a better description, where I could recuperate and restore my energies. Other beings assisted with this, doing most of the work while I entered a sort of spiritual deep resting state. From the physical perspective, this state lasted an equivalent of centuries within less than a moment.  

When I returned to the Gathering, we agreed upon specific tasks that I would accomplish and specific things that they would assist me with once I was back in the physical. This wasn’t a barter exchange, as we might assume from our cultural perspective. It was more of a genuinely easy granting of services with no weight placed on the value or relative cost of effort implied by each agreement. 

Having agreed, I moved to another vibrational location where healing would be performed on my physical body. From this location, I could see my physical body in the truck, head propped up by my right hand, elbow resting on the door handle exactly as I’d left it. I could also see my body as an energy matrix. Reading from both those levels simultaneously, I could tell that my right hand was nearly severed at the wrist, my right foot and ankle were badly mangled, and I had a deep wound in my right torso. There was a large hole in my head: I was missing one eye, the frontal sinus, and a portion of my brain. 

Some energy beings and I worked together, quickly repairing the body, primarily working through the matrix. The injuries weren’t entirely healed, as some were to be of use in situating me for tasks I had agreed to perform or things that I wanted to experience as a whole infinite Self. While we worked, we joked with each other about what should and shouldn’t be done and casually engaged in a great deal of goofing off.  

When we’d finished, I thanked my companions, and then I moved to another location that served as a convenient jump-off point. There I met briefly with some other beings that were familiar to me. We discussed mechanical details of what I’d agreed to do for the Gathering, as well as some personal issues. Then I simply took a deep breath and popped back into the body. 

All I heard was a “pop” … the sound of a champagne cork from one hundred meters. The Microsoft sound of opening a new window.  A finger snap from across the office.  

I vividly remember taking a long, deep breath—more of a sigh that echoed an internal sigh. I thought, Shit. I was tired inside, exhausted from long days spent trying to train a new project manager while catching up with a demanding workload after an insufficient two weeks of leave. I didn’t want something hard, something that would require effort. I wanted to rest. 

 Tough luck.  

Get on with it, I told myself.  

I opened my eyes.  

I wasn’t able to see out of my right eye, the one my hand had been covering as I’d settled for a short nap. My left eye was fine. I let both hands rest on my thighs. Both were covered with blood. Such a beautifully saturated, vivid color, I thought, that alizarin crimson. I lifted my right hand back up to cover my eye.  

The inside of the Land Cruiser was charred looking, smoked with powder burns or whatever it is in an IED* that causes that black toasted look. There was blood all over. I looked over at Ben [colleague] and said his name at the same time I noticed a hole in his thigh. The femoral artery should have been there, I was sure, but he wasn’t bleeding. Perhaps the hole had missed the artery, I thought, even knowing that was impossible.  

Ben moaned loudly. ‘Shit,’ he said. ‘Oh shit.’ He rocked a little, bending forward and sitting back up. He didn’t respond to my voice. I touched his arm, but he didn’t look at me.  

He can’t hear me, I thought. He’s panicked. Let it go for now.  

We all sat straight in our seats, then, the vehicle rolling straight down the road, and after Ben stopped moaning, it was dead silent. 

The truck rolled for what felt like a couple hundred meters, then made a perfect and silent turn to the right, rolling off the road onto a clear area of sandy dirt. I didn’t see Ian [our driver] move, but it was such perfect control—he must have been conscious and steering.  

The truck stopped. 

I put my right hand back down on my leg and studied it again; the skin was completely shredded on the little finger and ring finger. The skin was all there, just pocked with holes like a parmesan cheese grater’s surface. The other fingers weren’t so bad, though the whole hand was bloody. 

It felt as if that took a long time, and now when I relive the moment, it was slow and leisurely. It felt important to take in what things looked and sounded like, to assess the state of this new environment. In addition to the eye and hand, my trouser legs were soaked in blood, though I couldn’t see any holes in the fabric. My legs and feet felt fine, and they were still there. I optimistically made the assumption that the blood came from one of the others.

No one else was moving, so I thought I had better. I started to lever myself toward the center console. My right wrist wasn’t working properly. I quit using that arm, putting the hand back over my eye.  

Moving in what felt like full consciousness but slow motion, using my left hand for leverage, I maneuvered myself onto the center console, twisting around from the waist to face the front of the truck.  

I was looking for the transponder, but there wasn’t one. That probably didn’t matter; one of the other trucks had to have seen us get hit. If they hadn’t actually seen it, they would notice our radio silence; they would see the distinctive vertical black column of smoke rising straight up into the air. They would know. They were on their way and would have radioed base.  

I tugged at the med kit* next to Mark’s feet, but his legs were jammed against it. I had no strength to pull and no leverage. I gave it up. I think I tried to pull Mark’s long gun* out from between the med kit and his legs, but that was jammed, too. Now I’m not so sure—did I try to pull his long gun out? Maybe. Maybe not. Why didn’t I take his handgun? I didn’t think of it. It was not a priority at this point—to be armed.  I didn’t hear any small arms fire or additional explosions that might have indicated a coordinated attack. I was sure the rest of the team would come quickly to help us. 

I looked at Mark and Ian in the front seats only long enough to determine that they, like Ben and I, weren’t bleeding out. Were they conscious? What were their injuries? I don’t know. I didn’t focus on that. Maybe I didn’t want to know, but I’m not sure it occurred to me.  

I unclipped Ian’s seat belt, hoping that would help get him out more quickly when the team showed up to help us. I can’t remember unlatching Mark’s, but maybe it was the other way around. Remember to unlatch Ben’s, I told myself.

I pushed myself off the console, turned, and sat back into my seat. By that time, I had forgotten to unhook Ben’s seatbelt. 

I leaned back and looked out the window.  

The glass had a film on it. On top of the thick ballistic glass, the film made it difficult to see out, and without my glasses, I couldn’t see well out of my left eye anyway. This frustrated me. It had to be my right eye that got hit—that eye had good long distance vision. My left eye was nearsighted. I had to turn my body at an acute angle to gain a fuzzy view behind our vehicle. I couldn’t see the other trucks, only desert. 

I looked back at Ben. He appeared to be unconscious and still wasn’t bleeding. An Iraqi face appeared at the gun port on Ben’s side, which had had its cover blown out. The man was in uniform: one of our Iraqi police escorts. His eyes were huge when they met mine.  

‘Help!’ he shouted, turning his head toward the back of our vehicle as he did it. 

So the team is pulling up behind us, I thought. He looked at me again with those huge, frightened eyes, then disappeared. 

I looked down at my legs again, BDU’s* covered with blood. I lowered my right hand and looked at it, skin chopped up on my fingers. 

I heard a shout and Ben’s door jerked open. Jack appeared, leaning in to look at us. 

I leaned forward a little and toward him. ‘I’m ok,’ I said urgently. ‘Get Ben—his leg is bad.’ 

‘You’re O.K.?’ Jack asked. 

‘Yes,’ I told him. ‘Get the others first—I’m ok. Ben’s leg is bad.’ 

I think other men from the team came then, behind Jack. Someone cut Ben’s seat belt, reminding me that I’d forgotten to unhook it. Shit—I leaned over and tried to unsnap it, but by the time I found the release button, they’d cut through the belt and were pulling Ben out, laying him on the ground. 

Ian was next. Men helped him out of the front driver seat. I couldn’t see where they took him. I tried to look out my window to see how the trucks were deployed and where we were, but all I saw was a patch of nearly bare ground, dirt, and a Land Cruiser with no movement. None of the men were visible. 

My own door was pulled open. ‘You okay, Nat?’ Jack asked.  

‘I’m ok,’ I told him. 

‘Let’s see your eye,’ he said. ‘Move your hand.’ 

I lowered my right hand and watched his expression, which didn’t change. I thought that was probably not a good thing, but he didn’t toss cookies and he didn’t start yelling so maybe the eye itself was still there. Finding out wasn’t a priority, and I immediately moved on mentally. Jack reached out and plucked the remains of the rim of my sunglasses out of my brow—it felt as if it had been imprinted into my numb skin when he plucked it out. ‘Okay,’ he said, handing me a bandage. ‘Hold this over it.’ 

I held the bandage against my face, and he helped me out of the truck. When I put weight on my right foot, I stumbled, pain stabbing up through my heel.

‘Okay?’ he asked again.  

‘Okay,’ I told him. ‘Just my right heel.’ I hopped, keeping weight only on the toe of the right boot. It didn’t hurt that way. 

He helped me to the center of the ring of trucks and told me to lie down on the ground, take my helmet off. I lay down on the ground, took my helmet off.  

I rested my head back against the dirt and relaxed, wondering where everyone else was. I was glad to be lying on dirt. I liked touching the ground, the warm desert sand and grit. I took a deep breath of the warm air and studied the blue sky. The hot sun felt good soaking through my clothes. I wondered why they pulled me out of the truck before they’d helped Mark because I could have waited until they helped him. I was conscious, not bleeding. I wondered if it was because I was a client, technically their first responsibility or something. I hoped not and was glad they’d helped Ian before me. The sky was a beautiful blue, and the dirt was warm, familiar, comfortable. It was so calm and quiet where I was. 

A few minutes passed before someone came to get me, told me to come with him. I remember wondering where everyone else was—a team of at least a dozen men, the IP* escort—where were all those men? I wondered if they were deployed around our perimeter, working on Ben, Ian, working on Mark, manning the radios … at the time I thought I should be seeing some of this activity, and I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t, why it was so quiet and calm where I was.  

The man helped me hop to a Land Cruiser, and he placed me in the back seat. I forgot my helmet, leaving it lying in the dirt.  

I knew most of the men on the team by sight, yet for some reason I paid no attention to individuals as they helped me. I was only aware of good, competent men helping, taking care of business. For some reason Jack was the only man that I recognized during this whole event, the only team member I remember speaking to aloud after I’d spoken Ben’s name as we’d rolled silently down the road just after the blast.  

I remember thinking, These poor guys, suspecting that the men on this team, the ones who walked away, might have a harder time dealing with this for awhile. They would have to go on in the same environment, doing the same things, taking the same risks but now with a physical memory of helping fucked up people after a hit. They would be in the same environment but with their minds and emotions changed. I would be occupied for awhile in healing. I would be busy with something new, in a new environment, captivated by the moment, however shitty that moment might be. If I could, I wanted to let them know that I was ok and that they did all the right things, all that was possible to do. I told myself that once things stabilized, once I arrived at Walter Reed or wherever I was going, I would find a way to tell them how grateful I was and how much I respected and loved working with them today and for the past fifteen months.  

Ian was sitting beside me in the truck they’d moved me into. We looked at each other. He signaled something to me, but I didn’t understand. He did it again, something to do with my eye, or his eye, or the bandage I was holding to my eye, or one he needed for his eye. I shook my head, confused. He tried again. I didn’t understand. I turned away to look out the window, frustrated. I was embarrassed for some reason, for us, for my not understanding. 

Now I can’t figure out why we didn’t just speak to each other; why I didn’t just speak to him. I suppose he started out not speaking, and since he was signing without speaking, I followed his lead. Now it seems absurd. Hey Ian, what were we doing?  Now it amuses me, two people who could talk perfectly well signaling incomprehensible messages at each other … I can’t help laughing as I write this. What were we doing?!

I stared out the window then, though, frustrated, embarrassed by my dense inability to understand, wondering what he wanted, trying to decipher it. And still wondering where everyone was. No one was visible outside the window, just a couple of static Land Cruisers. No men, no movement. Nothing was happening. Just dirt and stationary trucks. Desert. Sky. 

It felt as if we sat there for a long time. Now I think it was five minutes, not much more and maybe less.  

What has been accomplished by this? I thought staring out at the desert. What has changed now for anyone, having blown us up? What has been moved forward or resolved? Nothing. It's utterly empty. This is how violence is profoundly pointless. 

The radio was on open mike … ‘We’ve got two superficial, two critical,’ someone said.  

I remember thinking, Mark is the other critical.  

‘Correction … two superficial, one critical,’ the voice almost immediately stated.  

And I knew Mark had died. 

I don’t know why I knew it was Mark. It could have been Ben, couldn’t it? His femoral artery was gone. But I knew it was Mark.  

I wondered if I’d be blind in my right eye. I wondered if there was some advantage to that, remembering a dream I’d had after my grandmother died. In it she was blind. She made beautiful pictures in my mind and told me in a very intense voice, ‘Natalie, you don’t need eyes to see.’  

Maybe if one eye was physically blind, it would allow me to see other worlds more clearly. I got a little thrill thinking that, but then thought that I could probably do both, as I often had—see other worlds and see the physical world out of that eye, and that’s what I wanted.  

Jack opened the front door of the truck Ian and I sat in. He grabbed the radio handset. The helo* was on its way and couldn’t find us. Unable to get direct comms, the men were having to talk to base, base relaying to the helo. That’s how things get screwed up. If the helo couldn’t find us, we’d drive to base. I didn’t want to have to drive to base. I didn’t want fifteen minutes on the road to think about how bad my eye could be, to anticipate getting through the stupid gates. I wanted someone to take charge of my body and move move move. I wanted the medevac helo.  

I told myself to quit whining. If we had to drive, that would be interesting in some way, too. 

We heard the helo pass over us. 

‘You just flew over!’ Jack shouted into the radio. They just passed us!  

‘Don’t shout,’ a calm female voice replied. ‘Try to stay calm.’ 

‘I’m not shouting!’ Jack yelled.  

I grinned—too classic!  

‘Turn the helo around!’ He shouted more softly into the mic. ‘We’ll pop smoke! Tell him to follow the road back and watch for us—we’re deployed’ … something like that. He told them what side of the road, what color smoke—maybe. Something. 

Jack got direct comms with the helo about then, according to my possibly faulty memory. I think I remember hearing the pilot’s voice on the radio. Things started moving. Jack jumped back out of the truck, and I could see men running and dust clouds billowing outside the window. Within a few minutes, the door beside me opened, and two men helped me out of the truck, pulling my arms over their shoulders.  

I might have shouted. My right wrist became a sharp mass of pain as the man on my right pulled it across his shoulder. It didn’t slow us down. They ran me to the helo where a medic reached out to help me aboard.  

‘How are you doing?’ he asked me. 

I smiled. ‘I’ve had better days,’ I admitted. I think he grinned. 

I was laid on a stretcher on the helo. Someone ran a blade up my left pant leg, the bloodier one, slicing it cleanly. But maybe that was earlier … a couple of vignettes have become wanderers in my memory, today happening here, yesterday placing themselves there. The cutting of my trousers is a nomadic event. 

I like riding in helos and was curious to see what the inside of the medevac helo looked like. They shot me up with so much morphine, though, I don’t remember what it looked like. Darn it.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  The vehicle I was traveling in was hit with a roadside bomb near Nasiriyah Iraq.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain     Parts of it were, parts weren't. There are no English words that are truly accurate for some of the experience, nor are some of the concepts easy to describe ... some were indescribable, in that I am able to be accurate in describing them, but not TRUE.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The whole time.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I don't know if I really understand this question. I was AS conscious and alert as ‘normal’ in that I wasn't sluggish, fuzzy or hyper-alert. I would say that I was ‘more conscious and alert’ in the sense that my senses were expanded beyond ‘normal’ physical mind/body sensing ... I was aware of more. More of me, more of All.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   Why don't you have a comment box for questions 6 and 7? I'm going to comment on those, then answer this question.

6. Speed really has nothing to do with it. My thoughts are conceptual, translated down into language (normally). During my experience, my conceptual thoughts were more - deeper, broader, more expansive, more complete.

7. Again, this is inaccurate language for me. Not necessarily more vivid, but more closely connected to each other (taste IS touch IS visual IS sound etc). Also richer, which is a form of 'vivid' but not how I would describe it.

8. So this question has been answered in my comments about question 7, to some extent. I would say that I was able to ‘see’ anywhere I put my attention, my focus. I didn't ‘look at this’ or ‘look at that’ - all senses were involved in (or the same as) seeing

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   This question has been answered in my comments about question 7, to some extent. I would say that I was able to ‘hear’ anywhere I put my attention, my focus. I didn't ‘hear this’ or ‘hear that’ - all senses were involved in (or the same as) hearing

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I moved to another vibrational location where healing would be performed on my physical body. From this location, I could see my physical body in the truck, head propped up by my right hand, elbow resting on the door handle exactly as I’d left it. I could also see my body as an energy matrix. Reading from both those levels simultaneously, I could tell that my right hand was nearly severed at the wrist, my right foot and ankle were badly mangled, and I had a deep wound in my right torso. There was a large hole in my head: I was missing one eye, the frontal sinus, and a portion of my brain. 

Some energy beings and I worked together, quickly repairing the body, primarily working through the matrix. The injuries weren’t entirely healed, as some were to be of use in situating me for tasks I had agreed to perform or things that I wanted to experience as a whole infinite Self. While we worked, we joked with each other about what should and shouldn’t be done and casually engaged in a great deal of goofing off.  

When we’d finished, I thanked my companions, and then I moved to another location that served as a convenient jump-off point. There I met briefly with some other beings that were familiar to me. We discussed mechanical details of what I’d agreed to do for the Gathering, as well as some personal issues. Then I simply took a deep breath and popped back into the body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Deep ease, completely comfortable, peaceful, deep contentment, amusement, bemusement  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No   Why don't you have comment boxes for questions 13 and 14? I'll comment on them here:

13. The choices are inadequate. I felt deep peace and pleasantness, but I wouldn't use the word ‘incredible’ - it was not ‘not credible.’ It was nice. It was natural.

14. Again, I checked ‘incredible joy’ because ‘happiness’ is more inaccurate. I felt deep joy, foundational joy that was not, in that environment, remarkable or ‘not credible’ - if was very natural.

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I stood on an oval dais addressing thousands of white-robed beings or personalities. They were arrayed up and all around me as if I stood in the center of a huge stadium, the dais on which I stood being perhaps twenty feet in diameter.  

The personalities were non-physical in essence, taking on form if they intended to do that for a particular purpose. I perceived the way they looked according to what I preferred for my purposes. At the time, since I had been abruptly transferred from the physical plane, it was simpler to perceive them in a human form, wearing glowing white robes.  

Most of these thousands were familiar to me, and all were my equal regardless of their admiration for my latest silly feat on earth. (How intrepid is it, really, to choose to get blown up?) I knew the Gathering to be a meeting of many groups representing a wide variety of interests and responsibilities pertaining not only directly to earth and physical universe energies but to dimensions and issues beyond. 

The concept that I first communicated was that I was tired and had no interest in returning to the physical plane. I understood that the decision was mine, and at this point my decision was to end my physical existence. 

Immediately after that, or perhaps more accurately folded within it, I presented what seems from my current physical body/conscious mind perception to be a transfer of information in the form of an inexplicably complex matrix. The information was minutely detailed and broadly conceptual—at once layered and infinitely dense, yet elegantly simple. It included events, thoughts, incidents, individuals, and groups in all their relationship complexities: stories, concepts, connections, nuances, layers, judgments, and projections. It included kinetic equations and dimensions and symbols and flows. Rather than being a classic life-flashing-before-the-eyes scene, this download was a collection that emphasized what might be very broadly understood as cultural and political information. I was aware that I deliberately offered the condensed data in fulfillment of a request that had been made by this Gathering of personalities prior to my taking on this body for this physical lifetime.  

While the personalities digested the matrix I’d made available, I was again amused by the admiration that was sent back to me. They were clearly impressed not only with my Raiders of the Lost Ark appearance but also by the depth and breadth of information I was providing. Yet I perceived the task as an easy one and the information obvious, therefore, unworthy of admiration. 

When the thought form or matrix had been absorbed by everyone, which took but seconds, discussions proceeded among the various groups and within the whole of the Gathering. This may seem impossible considering there were thousands present, but it was not. No overlaps occurred, no interruptions took place, no misunderstandings formed, and disagreements were respectfully and thoughtfully engaged and resolved. All communication was accomplished through thought. 

They then requested that I return to my physical body to accomplish some further work. I was given to understand that my particular skills with energy were needed at this time and would be effective only were I actually present in a body within the earth vibration. I replied that I was willing, but given my level of exhaustion and disinterest in the difficulties of this particular physical life to date, I requested that certain assistance be provided within that continued physical existence. 

While we all digested some details, I retreated to a deep place that I’ll refer to as another vibrational dimension, for lack of a better description, where I could recuperate and restore my energies. Other beings assisted with this, doing most of the work while I entered a sort of spiritual deep resting state. From the physical perspective, this state lasted an equivalent of centuries within less than a moment.  

When I returned to the Gathering, we agreed upon specific tasks that I would accomplish and specific things that they would assist me with once I was back in the physical. This wasn’t a barter exchange, as we might assume from our cultural perspective. It was more of a genuinely easy granting of services with no weight placed on the value or relative cost of effort implied by each agreement. 

Having agreed, I moved to another vibrational location where healing would be performed on my physical body. From this location, I could see my physical body in the truck, head propped up by my right hand, elbow resting on the door handle exactly as I’d left it. I could also see my body as an energy matrix. Reading from both those levels simultaneously, I could tell that my right hand was nearly severed at the wrist, my right foot and ankle were badly mangled, and I had a deep wound in my right torso. There was a large hole in my head: I was missing one eye, the frontal sinus, and a portion of my brain. 

Some energy beings and I worked together, quickly repairing the body, primarily working through the matrix. The injuries weren’t entirely healed, as some were to be of use in situating me for tasks I had agreed to perform or things that I wanted to experience as a whole infinite Self. While we worked, we joked with each other about what should and shouldn’t be done and casually engaged in a great deal of goofing off.  

When we’d finished, I thanked my companions, and then I moved to another location that served as a convenient jump-off point. There I met briefly with some other beings that were familiar to me. We discussed mechanical details of what I’d agreed to do for the Gathering, as well as some personal issues. Then I simply took a deep breath and popped back into the body.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Uncertain   This question is confusing! Some of the beings that I encountered were simultaneously having an ‘earthly’ experience as embodied people, or in a sense had had lives in the physical, or would have ... time was so different there as to make this question almost nonsensical to me. ?

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   I retreated to a deep place that I’ll refer to as another vibrational dimension, for lack of a better description, where I could recuperate and restore my energies. Other beings assisted with this, doing most of the work while I entered a sort of spiritual deep resting state. From the physical perspective, this state lasted an equivalent of centuries within less than a moment. During this state, I leisurely wandered through memories of this physical life to date, evaluating things I'd created (criteria: was it fun, was it unusual), noticing connections and links, and generally just wandering down memory lane.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
Again, the choices here don't work for me. I was in more than one environment, none of which were unfamiliar or strange, none of which I would describe as ‘mystical’ though I suppose all were in some sense ‘unearthly’ since they weren't of the earth plane/vibration/ whatever you want to call it.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost most of its meaning. The time we know would be like a tiny thread of what time was there. Time as we know it lost all meaning. Everything was happening at once there, yet it also was not.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
Sorry - answer choices are again inadequate or inaccurate for both questions 26 and 27.

26. I felt a sense of harmony or unity with everything - ‘the universe’ was not something that I focused on. I had no interest in ‘the universe,’ if by that is meant the physical universe.

27. I didn't ‘suddenly’ understand everything, I had always understood everything. Again, I had the capacity to understand everything about the universe, but had no interest in ‘the universe.’

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to ‘return’ to life
There was no border or point of no return. I chose to return, consciously within that environment.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was aware, conscious, within the experience. I experienced the fact that I am more than my physical body and continue existence after earthly life.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   In my book ‘Application of Impossible Things’ I describe it this way: 

The one reality includes all being-ness or consciousness. It is the endlessly unknowable infinity of creativity and an apparent paradox of infinite numbers of unique individuals that are simultaneously one. This encompassing connection is within and of, and creates, is created by, and moves through each unique being, and is part of all while also existing separately from what I’ll call “All That Is.”

This All That Is can be perceived simultaneously as a force and as an individual consciousness that exists within each consciousness and yet is separate from each consciousness or being. It’s what might be referred to as God, but the ideas of gods that we have are a pale and incomplete shadow of the All That Is that I perceive. Projecting an idea of a god or gods upon that infinite creative consciousness inevitably limits an understanding of the All That Is in ways that reflect the severely limited comprehension that we have of ourselves and the physical universe.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I assumed that I existed prior to this lifetime. I did not ‘encounter’ this awareness, I simply existed within it.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   In my book ‘Application of Impossible Things’ I describe it this way: 

The one reality includes all being-ness or consciousness. It is the endlessly unknowable infinity of creativity and an apparent paradox of infinite numbers of unique individuals that are simultaneously one. This encompassing connection is within and of, and creates, is created by, and moves through each unique being, and is part of all while also existing separately from what I’ll call “All That Is.”

This All That Is can be perceived simultaneously as a force and as an individual consciousness that exists within each consciousness and yet is separate from each consciousness or being. It’s what might be referred to as God, but the ideas of gods that we have are a pale and incomplete shadow of the All That Is that I perceive. Projecting an idea of a god or gods upon that infinite creative consciousness inevitably limits an understanding of the All That Is in ways that reflect the severely limited comprehension that we have of ourselves and the physical universe.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   They all have purpose, value, meaning to us as Whole Selves (as I call it - our expanded awareness selves, the whole of who we really are, our consciousness without the physical limitations) and the All That Is. From that viewpoint they're not serious ... I write about this in detail in ‘Application of Impossible Things.’

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   They all have purpose, value, meaning to us as Whole Selves (as I call it - our expanded awareness selves, the whole of who we really are, our consciousness without the physical limitations) and the All That Is. From that viewpoint they're not serious ... I write about this in detail in ‘Application of Impossible Things.’

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Again, I write about this in my book ‘Application of Impossible Things.’ Love is All That Is, in a sense. The word ‘love’ is only the closest word we have - it's not really accurate but I can't do any better with our language.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   Refer to my book ‘Application of Impossible Things.’ There's more there ... too much to recount here.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I'd rather not share specifics. In ‘Application of Impossible Things’ I wrote:

I hesitate to outline or specifically discuss the skills that were highlighted as useful to the Gathering. I consider them unique and interesting to me because they’re mine, but I don’t want a description of some of them to be interpreted as grandiose or “special” in anyone’s value hierarchy. Parts of our culture artificially elevate certain skills by attributing them to advanced souls, mystics, prophets, yogis, or shamans. Other parts of our culture relegate some of the skills to the trash barrel of psychology—the mentally deluded. Both are distortions of what I consider to be normal perception and universally accessible skills. From the viewpoint of the Blink Environment, we’re all a little deluded or deranged in some of our collective beliefs about what is real. It was once assumed the earth revolved around the sun, and if we think we aren’t fooled by equivalent certainties today, the ignorant if endearing arrogance of that will undoubtedly be proven at some point. At the same time, we are all shamans, for ourselves and for each other.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience  

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I can return to these memories and they're still very vivid and alive. I suppose that, since they exist ‘outside of time (as we experience it), I could be returning to them as they are still or always unfolding.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Question 43 choices are inadequate for me. The word ‘God’ carries a lot of baggage, meaning many things yet not All Things. If All That Is can be assumed, then I believed in it before and after. But the ideas of ‘God’ are currently deeply inadequate and inaccurate, in my experience.

My experience directly resulted in:  
Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   Too many to recount here. Please refer to my book ‘Application of Impossible Things.’

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
Too many to recount here. Please refer to my book ‘Application of Impossible Things.’

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  It was at least 6 months before I shared it with someone. Since then I've shared the experiences in a book that, apparently, thousands are reading. Many people have told me that they have been positively influenced by my experience - you'd have to ask them how!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I'd read some accounts ten or more years before my own. I think those accounts influenced how I described my experience in ‘Appliation of Impossible Things’ but I don't think it affected the experience itself. Mine was very different from the accounts that I'd read, from what I remember of them.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I've had expanded awareness experiences all my life - I trust my experiences, and this was very vivid and seemed (still seems) more real than this physical life.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I've had expanded awareness experiences all my life - I trust my experiences, and this was very vivid and seemed (still seems) more real than this physical life.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain   Maybe I'm more tolerant, patient. I'm fundamentally happier or more content, so that necessarily changes the relationships.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   I can re-enter the experience almost at will, and regularly explore expanded awareness environments.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   Please read my book ‘Application of Impossible Things’ if you're interested in more information and detail about my experience.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   No   My experience was very rich. The questions are very pointed. Please read my book ‘Application of Impossible Things’ if you're interested in more information and detail about my experience.