Mike R NDE

Edited for clarity by Judy Shea 8/25/12

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I woke up that  morning and was on my way to work at a new job. I usually have my coffee all made at the apartment, but that day I had to stop and get it, because I had been up with my new baby and all. So I stopped at the WAWA, made my coffee, got back in my car and was on my way. The next thing I knew, I was in the back of an ambulance. The EMTs and the Medic told me that I had been in a serious car accident and I was now being transported to Cooper Hospital, which is the area trauma hospital. I also found out that it had taken them two and a half hours to cut me out of my car, and, being a fireman myself, I knew that the crash had been more then just a little one. Also, I could tell it was bad from the fact that I was being taken to Cooper, because of its being a level one trauma center.  When I first woke up in the ambulance, I started fighting with them because I had been unconscious in the car and I didn't know what was going on. 

It was not until they wheeled me into the ER that things started to happen. It was like they were wheeling my physical body into the ER, but, at the same time, I could SEE myself getting wheeled in. I am not sure how long after that it was, but I woke up again, this time to doctors and nurses asking me all these questions.  I didn't know what to say because they had just told me I had stopped breathing and all, so I was freaking out. Then I went out again. This time I saw my kids playing in the park.  I seemed to be watching them from a distance, like I was not really there. I stopped breathing twice that day. After about thirty-seven X-rays, Cat scans and head CTs, the doctors hooked me up to a chest tube and morphine and the usual IV, and, after I was stable in the ER, they sent me to my room. 

Once in my room, the first people I saw besides doctors and nurses were my at-the-time fiancée and one of my good friends from the apartment complex where I lived at the time. It was so surreal – it was like, "Did I just survive? Something that all the docs said I should not have?" That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. The next person I saw was my oldest nephew whose birthday it was on the same day it happened. My brother and sister-in-law also came up to see me.  I freaked out also because we couldn't get in touch with my mom. She was on vacation in Vermont, and her cell phone was off, so she really didn't know what happened until that next week, after I got out of the hospital. I was in for a week and then went home. 

When I got home, everyone was there to welcome me home – friends I had, and people I knew that lived in the same apartment complex that I did. It was like, "Wow, guys, I didn't die, and I'm still me, but thank you!" Then days and even months after the accident, it kept playing in my mind over and over again – the accident, the visions I had in my head, and everyone in the ER saying I should be dead and all. I was like , "When will it stop?" After months of rehab and all, my physical being is now good for most part and the mental, I think, will always be there.   

Today, August 16th, is the 8 year anniversary of this almost- fatal day, and even though it does not affect me as much as it did back then, it still feels like it just happened. I guess you really never get over it totally.  

Someone was watching over me that day and telling me it was not my time to go. 

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No   

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes.     When it first happened, I really didn't tell anyone about the visions I had, and all. It was like, "Who is really going to believe me?" 

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I think during the ambulance ride and once I got into my room. 

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      Normal consciousness and alertness.    

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   They were more or less like it was just me and what I was envisioning, nothing outside of that. It was like they were there and things were happening, but I was not hearing that or seeing that. 

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   It was just focused on my life and what was in it and going on around it.  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain.   It was when I saw myself being wheeled into the ER, and when I stopped breathing, and all that was when I was in the ER. 

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I was mostly scared, worried, and kind of like, "What is going to happen to my kids and all if I don't make it ."   

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes.   It was like the light at the end of the tunnel kind of thing. It was there, and then the visions came in. 

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain.   It was like  when I was looking at my kids that one time. It was a bright light and all.  It was through my vision, though, so I was not sure what it was from. 

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No 

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No.   But there was my grandmom, whom I was very close to. She passed away back in 1997 – she was there, but I didn't see her. 

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Uncertain.   There was my grandmom, whom I was very close to. She passed away back in 1997 – she was there, but I didn't see her. 

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes.   Like seeing my kids being born again, and also, like, seeing my childhood –  the fun times I had. 

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No 

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Time seemed to go both faster and slower than usual, depending.

It seemed to slow down a lot, and, right before I came back awake, it would start speeding up, and then I would wake up. 

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   

It was like I knew something. People always say things happen for a reason. I knew, and can now understand, why things happen more than I used to be able to. 

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No 

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life.

It was like I was not ready to pass yet and someone told me I have to go back. 

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from my personal future, like business things and my career. 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No    

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes.   Well, seeing that I am still here, and considering all that could have happened to me  through not being there, yes, I can say that God does exist. 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No    

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No    

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?    Yes, I used to  think, "What is worse than death?" But, I mean, nothing can be as hard as, or more difficult than, losing someone.  I lost my grandmom, whom I was very close to, so I know how it feels. 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes.    I used to think, "What is worse than death?" But, I mean, nothing can be as hard as, or more difficult than, losing someone. I lost my grandmom, whom I was very close to, so I know how it feels. 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes.   My kids –loving them and never letting go, and being there for them as much as I can. 

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes.   Live for the day, because you never know when it could be your last, and do what you can, the best you can, everyday. 

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes.   Now I do,  with my kids and family and all. I need to be there for my kids when they need me and also be as good a dad as I can be, because it may be all taken away any time. 

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs I had at the time of my experience.   I was always under the impression that you die and then whoever-it-is takes you where you need to go. I didn't know that it was so much more spiritual then that. 

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.  I can almost see it as if it were happening now, like, the kids being born, and, like, what time it was, where I was, like, all those details about it. 

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Now I believe more that there is someone looking down from above on us and protecting us to a point – but letting us do our own thing as well,  and also helping when we are in need. 

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life. 

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes.   I believe there is a God, a power higher then us, who is up there telling us what is going to happen if we do this or that, someone watching out for us  – in ways I  can sort of understand but I can't really explain. 

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   Just the part with my kids. I am very close with my kids and all. It was hard, and it is still to this day, thinking that they almost lost their dad. Then again, I remember that I survived it, and am still here, so that makes it better. 

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No    

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Just the part with my kids. I am very close with my kids and all.  It was hard, and it is still to this day, thinking that they almost lost their dad. Then again, I remember that I survived it, and am still here, and that makes it better. 

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   No.  I have never really shared my visions and all with anyone, just the events of the accident and all. 

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain.   I knew what they were but didn't really look into it until after it happened to me. 

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   I thought the experience was probably real.   I didn't really know or have any info about it, so I kept on wondering about it. I didn't know what it was or how it could happen. 

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Now I know that the experience was definitely real.   I was there, it happened to me, and I understand it more now, so I can say for sure it happened. 

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes.   Well, with my kids and all. It made me more aware that we may not be here tomorrow or the next day, and it's made me closer to my kids. 

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes.   I believe  a lot more in the God above. Also, I never really used to believe in Guardian Angels, as I do now.  Also, I believe that someone is looking down on me and protecting me, like the Angels. 

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes.   When it rains out, because at the time of the accident it was raining out, and also on the anniversary date of it.    

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes