Marlene S NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I could see myself on the operating table during heart surgery.  It was though I was hovering in a corner looking down upon myself and all the equipment attached.  Later I was told the team told my family in the operating room waiting room that the prognosis was not good and that if they could not restart my heart in the next 30 minutes, they would call a code.  I then remember waking in recovery and feeling much pressure then total darkness.  I was placed on a defibrillator.  There was a sensation of more pressure and then a spiraling down into total blackness.  I then saw a bright light and thought my Mother was there telling me it wasn't time and I wanted to go to her so badly.  She had been dead for 30 years.  When I was recovering, finally, I felt as though I had been robbed of dying.  I was despondent and confused.  My personality had changed considerably and I felt I had been replaced by someone else.  I still feel that I lost my soul.  Does that make any sense?

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I had a heart attack and blockage of coronary arteries, at the time I was female, 42 yrs. old and weighed 105 lbs.  Not a candidate for such an event.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     No one understood what I was trying to convey.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Three days after surgery, when I was finally weaned off the respirator

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      Less consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt I was not the same person, that my soul had been stolen

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Clear and unhindered

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   My hearing was not affected

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I have already explained them above

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Total detachment  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   At first it was a dark spiral and then a tunnel of light.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   A brightness so intense and peaceful

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
As I mentioned, My mother was there but told me to return

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   My Mother

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place


Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No
I had no recollection of time

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Why did I experience a spiriling downward into darkness before seeing the tunnel of bright light?

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   That experience has forever, changed my life and the way that I have continued to live.  It is most disturbing and makes me question my way of life and beliefs.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I changed jobs and followed a different field.  I have felt lost and not myself but have managed a successful life inspite of my personal feelings.  However, I still feel I am not the same person who they wheeled into that operating room in March 6, 1980.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Change of jobs and work surroundings

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   The spiraling into darkness, reminds me of entering Hell.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   My perception of many things have been affected and my relationship with others has been altered.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The spiraling into darkness, reminds me of entering Hell.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   No 

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real  

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It is always there, I never quit thinking about it.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I do not interact with anyone else these days.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I quit attending church about 10 years ago.  I am now returning to my Church in the past several months.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes    

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        I just want to know if there are others who have had similar experiences exist.

Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                    None, you have been very thorough and I appreciate any feed-back you may be able to give me.