EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
My sister and I were swimming with my cousin in her parent's swimming pool . I
began to feel left out of the fun as my cousin and sister were basically
ignoring me all day, so I decided to leave them to themselves and hang out at a
separate area of their pool. Feeling sorry for myself, I wondered how it
would be like to drown, so I laid belly down in the water and tried to see how
long I could remain like that without the need for air. My cousin and sister
were still oblivious of my presence while I did this.. and yet strangely I
noticed I no longer seemed to need any air, so I decided to remain in that
position face down in the water indefinitely. My cousin soon noticed
something was unusual, and began freaking out "What will my father say!" she
cried. This really bugged me because it was now apparent that all she really
seemed to care about was what my uncle would think of her, and not the fact that
I could be dying.
So while hearing her
carry on like that and feeling resentful that she really didn't seem to care
about my personal welfare, I then decided that life wasn't worth it compared
to the sense of peace and calmness I was then feeling while in this
condition. So I then made the decision that this was going to be it. I
couldn't understand why I was still able to breathe underwater, and that if I
wanted to, I still could get out of the water, but I realized that if I did not
get up, that I would cross over the line and my body would die. I felt a
Presence with me- and I knew this Presence was our Creator. Through thought,
He presented me with a question- "Do you really want to hurt your family like
this" this Presence asked me through thought. He did not stop me but wanted me
to weigh the price of my decision-- to allow myself to cross the line and die,
or to choose life. I argued that no one seemed to care whether I lived or died
anyway, so what was the point of life. Then I was reminded of my sister and
mother- and how much grief my death would cause them. That alone almost made
me want to get up from the water right there, but I still stubbornly remained
floating and tried to see what would happen if I did die. With this intention
I had, I felt God show me that if I did decide to go against what I knew He
wanted for me at that time (which was to live) that I would be causing a great
disobedience in my life and I could actually FEEL this friction of
disobedience-- that I was really pushing things., This felt very
uncomfortable so I decided then to get up out of the water mainly for that
reason alone even though I also knew I didn't want my mother to suffer any grief
over me.
When I got out of the water and choked up the water that had gotten into my
lungs, my cousin was relieved that she no longer had to explain anything to her
father-- and she and my sister both tried to challenge each other to see if they
could also stay under water as long as I had but even I could not stay under
water like that again. Normally when a person is drowning, they fight for
air, and if I tried it again, I couldn't take it any longer and had to come up
for air. Never again was I able to duplicate that experience of not needing to
breathe air while underwater. I realized that this was a supernatural
experience I was permitted as a type of lesson about suicide's repercussions.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes Could have drowned if any more time passed.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
Throughout the entire experience
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
Normal consciousness and alertness
Throughout the entire experience
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes The water in the pool seemed much brighter
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
No
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
A calmness and peacefulness and a sense of feeling loved by the
Higher Presence surrounding me. I did feel content, yet I also felt hurt and
self pity over hearing my cousin cry "what am I going to tell my father!"
thinking I may have drowned. I felt emotionally hurt that she didn't seem to
care about me-- just that she would have gotten in trouble with her father.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
Yes
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes I became aware of a Higher Presence with me while I was laying there--
and I was able to hear His thoughts directed toward me-- especially when asked
if I really wanted to hurt my loved ones by choosing to die.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes I sensed my decision to allow myself to completely drown was a boundary
that if I crossed it, would have negative spiritual repercussions not only for
me, but my family
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain Throughout my life I've experienced Empathy gifts and various
premonitions. I've also sought out a closer connection with God and have been
shown many things about how all types of suffering actually strengthen us more
spiritually--and I now have a deeper awareness of that Footprint's poem. God
doesn't leave us, but we can leave Him.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Years later. I told my cousin but she completely forgot about it. My
sister doesn't remember either. I will never forget it though as long as I
live.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The
sense of feeling loved by this Higher Presence and knowing I had freedom of
choice to completely end my life and hurt others and myself as well as Him. I am
so glad I made the right choice then!
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real It wasn't in my imagination. I have always
had a good memory of incidents in my early childhood. It was also the first
time I discovered an awareness that our Creator actually does exist after all
and is completely aware of our every day lives. Many times later in my life when
I doubted that there was a God, I recalled that incident and realized, "yeah,
don't forget that time in the pool with that Higher Presence with me!"
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
realized that life did not revolve around me, and my decisions had an affect on
others. I also realized that I also could make decisions that would make God
happy or grieve Him.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
take God more seriously after this incident-- this was the first time I
discovered how involved He is in our lives . Before this time, I thought God was
too preoccupied with World Events to concern Himself with the average nobody
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
In
the years following this experience I became a Christian and no longer pity
myself when faced with neglect or even ridicule-- Those types of conditions
only serve to draw me to a closer connection with God- Whom I felt in that pool
with me that day years ago. I feel like a little girl holding the hands of a
Father who loves me.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
