Linda F Fear Death Experience

Integration Experience

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION 2/25/2013:

I jumped off the side of a pool at in my high school. At the 7 1/2 below level I found myself unable to move. I tried to swim and could not move. Believed in my mind that I was going to drown. Then a strange thing happened. It was like a wave washed over me and I had this sense of peacefulness hit me. I remember thinking - I'll try one more thing and calmly thinking if it doesn't work then I'll just have to drown. There was no fear. I didn't think about my parents or siblings or my pets or anything else. It was all so so unimportant but so peaceful a feeling. So I tried to push myself to a position and I started to try swimming the doggy paddle and very very slowly found myself heading towards the surface. It felt like I was in slow motion. Still holding my breath all the while. When I reached the top one of the girls standing there said to me how long were you down there I didn't see you jump in.

I ignored her question because I was so confused at what had just happened to me. I walked over to the swim coach standing on the other side of the pool. I told him that when I jumped off the side of the pool into the water I was stuck underwater for awhile and I couldn't seem to swim or move anywhere.  He said it sounded like some kind of bounce problem. I didn't mention the strange Peaceful feelings that came into me at the idea of drowning. I never felt so calm and at peace as at that time.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  Drowned

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No     Just confusing. I think that the mind (consciousness) has a trigger to be pulled - even just realizing that you are going to die for certain because all other options were tried. Then I tried the doggy paddle and I started to move upwards. Very Strange.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I was almost ready to panic because I didn't know how long I could hold my breath.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   It seem that my mind was extremely clear and that this was the end. Like clicking on a switch. My belief that I was going to die because no one knew I was down there in the pool to help me. Then poof I didn't care anymore I felt that it really didn't matter if I drowned or not. I had NO FEAR of drowning. No panicky feelings what so ever.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   The same.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   The same.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Extreme Peacefulness.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
time lost meaning to me and things seemed to slow down.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No
Just seemed to not care about anything in particular not even dying.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I realized that something occurs right before you die. A calming sense comes over you - possibly to make the experience easier to take.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   Seemed to me that god was just making things unthreatning for me. That a higher power was taking control of my feeling. My emotional me.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   A feeling that there is nothing to fear about death. A connection with everything that this life is important but its not everything that there is more ahead to learn and as I said before - feelings of extreme peace lies ahead for us.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No   That all our difficulties and hardships, challenges don't really matter as much as people think they do.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   That all our difficulties and hardships, challenges don't really matter as much as people think they do.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Uncertain   There was a kind of love feeling, peacefulness a sort of forgiving sense that things that I had done in the past. Were nothing to care about. I was never a bad kid, I never got into trouble, but my parents fought alot and I was never at a place were peace was easily obtained like I had at that moment.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   That there is something more to this world of consciousness then people understand. I believe in life after death for another reason. This experience happened in 1975. In 1981 my father committed suicide in his work truck outside on our front lawn. A few days after his funeral his bedroom door slammed shut all by itself. Everyone one in our family had just gotten home from some place and we had a friend and her mother there as well. We all were in the living room at the time. Me and my young brother went down the hall into my fathers room to see what slammed the door. No windows were open, no pets were there. My father use to slam his door shut because it wouldn't stay closed if he didn't.  Even my very skeptical brothers will not talk about this event because they believe he had come back - giving us a sign that he was still alive somewhere.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Never knew a peace existed like I had felt at that moment in the pool.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   Never felt this way since this experience. Peacefulness, not caring, just a great freedom a tremendous burden occurs within you.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I just knew that there is more to dying then meets the eye.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I felt a great push to read and learn more about life after death not just because of my experience in the pool but with my fathers suicide and my mothers death a year later. And I had 2 extra sensory dreams about my fathers suicide before it happened. The 3rd time I dreamed it - it was for real. And my mother dreamed that her only brother was killed in a field in Korea during the war. Her uncle came to her to tell her and she said I know my brother is dead. I saw him standing in a field and something flew threw the air and killed him. Her uncle told her yes he was killed by a mortar shell. ESP runs in my family on my mothers side. And I use to have other ESP events that also came true. But no longer occur with me anymore.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   Dreamed my mother was walking in the hallway hitting my bedroom wall and  door and she gets to my door and says oh... your father is dead outside. Then she walks to my brothers bedroom door and says the same thing. The 3rd time it was for real. My mother had an ESP event about her only brother that was killed during the Korean war. But mine started in 1981 with my fathers death. May have just been born with esp.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Just that my experience and belief is a good one as far as peaceful experiences to look forward to. But not knowing how long it will last even after death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I would say years later maybe.10 years or so.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain   All I remember is that Dr Moody's books life after life I bought not long after my fathers suicide because of my experience and the slamming of his bedroom door after his death. I may have heard of them before his book but I cannot remember. I have always had an open-mind even as a child to the unexplained events that I had heard about even to UFOs.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Never to this day have I ever felt that way before. The peaceful feelings.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real  

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   more aware of other peoples NDE stories when they say that a peaceful calmness occurred during or right before their NDEs. I know what that feels like.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No that's about it.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes  

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION 4/9/2011:

I jumped off side of pool into the water. I was trying to swim and not going anywhere.  For some reason I seemed to not be able to move and I realized that no one knew I was down in the water unable to swim anywhere. I was trying and trying to swim not quite in a panic but... all of a sudden I stopped thrashing about and remember looking around the empty pool.  There were people above talking but not paying any attention to me. They didn't know I was down there and a sudden wave of peaceful calmness came over me suddenly and I remember saying to myself "so this is what its like to drown". I was ok with it. I thought of nothing - my parents, friends etc...it was a very calm attitude.  Then I said to myself "well I'll try one more thing to try and get out of this and if it doesn't work then I guess I'll just have to drown".  So... I decided to try to tip myself upwards and do the doggy paddle and it started to work - I started moving.  It seemed like it was taking forever but I slowly made it up to the surface.  A girl standing with a group of people talking looked at me when I surfaced and she said to me.  How long were you down there?  I didn't answer her. I was feeling very odd. I walked over to the swim coach who was standing on the other side of the pool and I asked him why I jumped off the side and couldn't move under the water.  He just looked at me and said It sounds like some kind of buoyancy problem. I didn't tell him about the emotional response that I had about trying to save myself.  But I did read about people that had this calm peaceful attitude before they died and came back.  Similar feelings to what seemed to happen to me. I think something in my consciousness realized that I believed that there was no way out of the predicament I was in and My head this was really it.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     If I was under the water any longer than I was I would have run out of air but luckily I had taken a deep breath before jumping off the side of the pool. But at the time I had really come to believe in my mind that I was going to die.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When this wave of complete peace came over me. I felt like I never had before, no worries anymore. Just a matter of fact attitude and acceptance of a certain death.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            When this wave of complete peace came over me. I felt like I never had before, no worries anymore. Just a matter of fact attitude and acceptance of a certain death.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            peaceful and calm and very excepting of dying.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I had 2 dreams about my dad's suicide out on our front lawn and the third time I woke up and it had come true. And I had many other ESP experiences after that and I was not asleep.  Voices a few times warned me about an accident with my car. I had a voice from the outside give me a number on a wheel at an amusement park that came true. And a phone conversation to my dad about an accident with his car that I had dreamed the conversation but only remembered during the actual phone call. I knew every word he was about to say it was strange.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     All I know is I was believed by my mother and my young brother. But my mother also had a psychic dream about her only brother that was killed in the Korean war when she was young. She saw something come over into the field he was walking through and blow him up.  Her uncle had come upstairs to tell her about her brothers death.  She told him she already knew about him being dead. He was very surprised - he told her a mortar shell had come into the air and blew him up two weeks after he had re-enlisted.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No            after my dads suicide. The church would not let his sister give him a service there at the catholic church.  I started reading about NDEs when I had bought a book called Life after Life by Raymond Moody.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I didn't have an NDE but I feel I was going into the beginnings of one

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes, the not caring about dying. I should have been in a panic the whole time but I wasn't after I really believed I would not be getting out of this one. I was very convinced at that moment.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real   

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            No            I firmly believe in life after death.  A few days after my dads burial.  Me and my mother and 3 brothers and sister in law and two friends had just come home from somewhere and we were all standing in our living room and suddenly my fathers bedroom door slammed shut. Just the way he used to slam the door because it never closed all the way. Me and my young brother went and checked out his bedroom to see if any windows were open or any animals had caused the door to slam shut. We found nothing to cause this. It may sound crazy but I truly believe that my father had come back to let us know that he was still alive somewhere.  Even my skeptical brothers know this happen and can't explain it away.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No that's about it. I have heard of mountain climbers falling and having a peaceful feeling like mine come over them before they hit the ground.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   No. This was a good questionnaire.