EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I was physically and emotionally exhausted after running from my husband.
We, my teenage daughter and I, landed in Atlanta, Georgia after two weeks on the
road. It was nearly 1,000 miles from where we had started.
I was experiencing one painful abscess after another on various parts of my body
and was in a doctor's office waiting
for him to come in and lance it when, suddenly, I was in a immense black yet
clear as glass void. Wondering where I was, but not frightened, I peered into
the darkness and in the distance saw a tiny light that flickered and blinked
like an eye. As I watched it began to come toward me, though I might have been
going toward it. I'm not sure. As I watched it came closer and when it was very
close I saw that the light was coming from inside a large pink Lotus. The petals
were opening to reveal more and more light. Curious, I reached out to touch it
and instantly
was inside it. An exquisite overwhelming feeling of love poured through me. It
was so intense I was afraid I wouldn't be able to bear it, but then I was and
feeling safe and loved for the first time in my life. Somehow, I knew that this
was God, that I was Home.
Then, from a distance, I heard my name being called. I shook my head, trying to
deny it, afraid that it was trying to make me come back. It sounded again and
again and, suddenly, I was back in the doctor's office. I burst into angry tears
and screamed at him, saying he had no right to call me back. He was astonished,
of course, and didn't know what I was talking about. He thought I had dozed off
while I was waiting for him.
It was only a minute or two later that I touched the spot where the abscess was
and realized that it was gone. In its place was a feeling of warmth.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
Yes
Sociopathic violent ex-husband promised to
find and kill me.
Was the
experience difficult to express in words?
No
At what time
during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
Immediately after returning to
consciousness.
How did your
highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to
your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
When I left the doctor's office, the world
looked sharper and brighter than it ever had. My senses were heightened and
colors were primary, like the colors in a child's paint box. I never felt so
alive. It was a gift, one that said I didn't have to be so afraid anymore.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
During the experience I felt safe and loved for the first time in my life.
I came from an abusive unloving childhood and married
twice, both times to abusive unloving men. Disturbed persons gravitate toward me
out as if knowing I have no defenses. I was and remain painfully shy and am
easily pushed around, have many acquaintances, but no friends. The only time I'm
brave enough to express myself is when I'm writing.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to
your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the
experience.
I had excellent hearing, before,
during and after the experience.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were
occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your
physical / earthly body?
Yes
As I described above, there was the the
pink lotus and the Light that enfolded me and made me feel I had come home.
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
Exalted and full of joy.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
Uncertain
Did
you see an unearthly light?
Yes
Light that was brighter and whiter than
any light I'd ever seen, almost blinding, pushing all the darkness away.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or
presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
I encountered a definite being,
or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I felt the presence of God.
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or
alive) beings?
No
Did you become aware of past events in your life
during your experience?
No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A clearly
mystical or unearthly realm
As described above.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything
about myself or others
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not)
continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or
does not) exist?
Yes
As described above.
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to
this lifetime?
Yes
As described above.
During your experience, did you encounter any
specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or
unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?
Yes
As described above.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes
Love is the only thing that's real.
Everything else is illusion.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes
As described above.
What
occurred during your experience included:
Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you
had at the time of your experience
I was keenly aware of God, but didn't know that
the life I was living was largely an illusion and that it was possible to go
into the closet of my mind, become very quiet and feel comforted.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I remember the experience as
accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
I can never forget the people and things
that have happened to me, good and bad, and use them in what I write.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life
after your experience:
No change. I
was and remain a social cripple, freeze if asked to speak before a group or
interact with others at meetings and parties.
My experience directly resulted in:
Moderate changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
No
Are
there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or
significant to you?
As described
above, I knew that I am loved for the first time in my life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other
special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?
No
Are there one or several parts of your experience
that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
As described above, I knew that I
am loved for the first time in my life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
What
did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks)
after it happened:
Experience was
definitely real
What
do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real
Have your relationships changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about
your experience?
No. That's it.
Did the questions asked and information that you
provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
I am painfully honest. Everything I have
described is as it was.
What could a national organization
with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to
you?
Everything.
