Laura M NDEs
On May 18, 1970, the day my first son was born, I had serious medical complicates that led to a serious post partum hemorrhage. I received several blood transfusions. I had an out of body experience where in I witnessed the birth of my son and then heard the dr. Tell my husband that they could save the baby but I was going to die.. From my vantage point at the top of the ceiling I started screaming at them that I Was not Dead !! But they could not hear me . I was terrified! Then I witnessed my own funeral and burial ... It was terrifying because I wasn't Dead.. Then everything basically went Black. It took three days before I could actually communicate and consciously respond to my surroundings. I was thus Terrified of dying.. Decided this awful experience was due to drugs. It took me years to get over it! Fast forward to July 1979. Ten days after delivering my fourth son I began hemorrhaging again . My husband rushed me to the hospital where I received several more blood transfusions and surgery (D&C). To stop the bleeding. I woke up in the recovery room feeling fine. With encouragement my husband went back to work with a promise that he would return in a few hours and take me home. I dosed off only to wake up as my Father entered the room . He lived 90 miles away and his visit was a Happy surprise. He bent over to kiss me and I felt a shudder run through my body.. Just nerves I thought.. But then my teeth started to chatter and I began to have uncontrolled spasms. I was burning up ! My Father went running from the room to get Help! Medical personnel came running in the room . A plastic sheet was thrown overt body and them someone started dumping buckets of ice on me . I felt every piece of ice as if it were a knife piercing my burning flesh . I was in Great pain! Then my doctor appeared. I heard the nurse say I can't get a pulse, her temp is over 106, her organs are shutting down. Suddenly I could feel it --the hemorrhage again .. I looked up at my Dr. And said ‘I'm bleeding again’. ‘No’, he said,’ you are having an Allergic reaction to the Blood Transfusions you received.’ No I thought , He doesn't know .. I am hemorrhaging Me! I am dying my spirit is Flowing Out ! I was then suddenly, overwhelming sad -- sad to be dying without saying Goodbye I Love You , to my Husband and Children ,or my Father standing right outside the door. And then I Died! The first awareness I had was the absence of Pain... what a relief! Then I became aware of the Blackness .. It was as if I was in a place of TREMENDOUS ENERGY-a great Black Void but I was not fearful. The Void held me in calm and peace .. I knew I had died to the world but I had not lost consciousness for even a Second.. I was still Me and still alive.
Then I was with HIM.. enveloped in such a Great light and love it defies Description. And there I Rested in Joy, Bliss and Grace! He spoke to me telling me that it was not my time and that I needed to return to my body, to complete my life's mission. I did not respond to His remark, but instead asked Him how he had done that?? Spoken to me without Words, without a Voice , yet I had Clearly Heard and understood every unspoken Word! He said to me that I was in a different ‘place’, one in which communication was Purely Exchanged.. Through the Language of Love . Here everyone spoke Heart to Heart and Soul to Soul so that there could never be a mis- understanding. When I had been on Earth and used the spoken word often there had been great confusions as what I thought I said and what was Heard by my listener were often very different .
He then reminded me again that it was not my Time and that I needed to return to my body and resume my earth life. Then I reminded Him that He had Promised Me Free Agency, and I was choosing to exercise that Agency to Stay With Him. He Laughed with Great Joy and Mirth at my stubbornness .. Saying, ‘Yes, Laura, I would Expect you to argue for your Own Case... the decision will of course be yours! But first let me Show you some things .’ I was Suddenly Struck with Wonderment and Awe.. He KNEW ME .. EVERYTHING ABOUT ME WAS ALREADY KNOWN !! I WAS PART OF HIS CREATION . IN ME WAS THE SPARK OF GOD--IT COULD NOT BE OTHERWISE.. HE WAS ALL KNOWING . HE WAS ALL LOVE and I WAS A PART OF IT ALL!
Before me there suddenly appeared a Pristine Beautiful white Glistening Beach.. I Saw my Three oldest Sons sitting together on that beach. Individually I Saw many parts of their future lives. I saw their Struggles and their hardships . I Saw how my Death would add to their hardships, sadness and loneliness and anger seemed to often surround them.. Then I saw the contrast I as a Mother would be in their lives, their paths were lightened because of my love for them.
But still I could not imagine leaving Him.. Being a part From His Love.. So I pointed out to him the beach. Each single grain of sand.. How there were millions of them .. Surely as one small grain of sand in all of creation would not be So Missed. And besides they had a Father, a Wonderful Loving Father to care for them, teach them, care for them LOVE THEM! Also I had realized at that point Time was different -- did not really matter.. After all, as a Mortal how do you understand Forever? Eternity? No End? Life may appear Long, Hard And Dreary but really it was a Flash .. Only equal again to one grain of Sand on that expansive Beach. He brought my focus back to the Beach explaining.. Notice again the Beach .. Every Individual Grain of Sand. Notice How Each grain touches Every other grain .. If every individual gain of sand chose to remove itself There would Be No Beach.. I got it on All levels instantly! No one could replace me.. No one Was in fact Replaceable!!! Ever!! Everyone Must contribute their own unique part of the Beach.
Suddenly it dawned on me that I had only witnessed the lives of three of my sons. Where is my Baby I asked? Why is He separated from his Brothers?? He is younger, he will be raised differently was the reply.. That cannot be I said. His Father would not let that happen. His Father will not be with him long I was given to understand.. He will not have the influence on him as he does on your other sons .
( At this point I witnessed a future event in the life of my husband.. An accident in which he would loose his life. But I did not bring this memory back with me .. But somewhere in the corner of my mind it remained.. I would remember it vividly four years later as my husband lay dying).
But there was still more for me to understand. The Focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them.. They stood out.. I felt Tremendous Love from them. Notice He said .. Your ancestors .. All these Beings came together in Your Behalf .. To Make You Uniquely You .. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. You wanted to go to earth to learn, to progress , to contribute to Creation, All these spirits came together to help You Do That ! The focus then was back to my Baby .. In All of Creation He said Your Infant Son Chose You to Be His Mother.! None Other! Together He said You made a Covenant to fill these rolls in each others Earth Life .. This Covenant is and Was a Very Sacred Covenant Not to Be Taken LIGHTLY.! Suddenly I could not Wait to return to Earth . To my sons All 4 of them , too my Family , to life on Earth. But before doing so I was brought to another level of Awareness.
It was as if when I was Focused on Him that was my complete and only Awareness.. But when changing focus such as on the beach l saw much more. My life flashed before me. A life review was in order. When it was over my head was hung in Shame for He had Seen it too.. I was not happy about Many Many of my Actions! But then in awe I turned to Him asking ‘How could you Still Love me So Completely after witnessing my many ‘sins’.
‘You are a Child of God ‘, He Said ,’and God Is Love-- I see you Purely as Love.’ There Was No judgment, only Love coming from Him.. In order for Me to Understand this However I Needed to Forgive myself and Realize that I was a Part of Devine Love. Through the Atonement this was made possible.. ( Very difficult to explain).. I only know I remember Nothing I saw in my life review-- only the ‘memory of having one remains’ and of that Only The Love!
My surroundings were then brought into Focus as I became aware of a Flower. A magnificent Flower.. Rather like a perfect Gerber Daisy Glowing in Brilliant Orange Hued colors And it Was Alive And it was Loving Me! In Amazement I turned again to Him in Wonderment And Awe .. Exclaiming ‘ This Flower is Loving Me, I Can Feel It.’
‘Everything, ‘ He said ‘was Made in Love For You’!
Then I Saw and Felt All.. It was Me and I was It.. The Firmament with Colors Alive Loving Stunning Colors of Light , Water .Each Drop Alive and Loving --No Words!!!!! No Words!!!
Now it really Was time to return but first I had One more Question . ‘Why me? ‘, I asked, ‘ What made Me So Special that I was allowed to have This Happen to Me?’.
‘Nothing’, He said, Love Falls on Everyone Equally’, Everyone Is Special!’. This was just something you Needed to accomplish your chosen life mission’.
Now I was Almost ready to return but first I needed to Secure a Promise that I
could Soon Return to Him!! Again I felt His Great Mirth --His Tremendous Love
for me... His complete Knowing of me, because you see There Really Is No Other
Option!! We All Return!! But He did Then Remind me That the only Thing I Got too
Bring Back with Me was Love .. The Love I Gave Away!! " "When I Left my Body
and was told it was Not my time and that I needed to return. From that instant
until I agreed to ‘Come Back.’ The Entire Experience happened at a different
level of consciousness
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are No words in Any language on this earth to explain. The Communication was Complete through Heart , mind , Spirit .. Love .. In fact I Asked why communication was Not through Spoken word and was told that Words Are Mis-understood - in the Realm I was in all communication was spirit to spirit, heart to Heart.. Through the Pure language of Love and God.. That way mis-understandings could not happen.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was aware of Tremendous Energy! Aliveness.. That Everything was Connected and Alive Held together with Love.. And that there was Not even a remote possibility that I could Never Not Exist!
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was No vision per say. There was Just Total Awareness of All.. Not that I didn't See because I Did.. It was though All the heightened senses. Difficult to explain .... Like when you have a Very Vivid Dream .. Your Eyes are closed but you See!
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing Again was through Awareness .. No Spoken Words But Could Still hear!!! ‘Heard and Felt the Harmony of the Universe -- Like Music -- but on a Soul Level .. Again LOVE .
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Uncertain Hard to answer because once I left I ‘chose’ to disconnect from my body and surroundings but Could have been Aware had I Chosen too at any Time! I was Never Not aware just not focused in that arena.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? LOVE- JOY - AWARENESS - COMPLETENESS-ENERGY-CONNECTEDNESS TO ALL -PERFECTION OF LOVE
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I was aware of Total Light
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I was melted into an Embrace of such Pure Love and welcoming Joy and Peace there Are No Words. Nor were Words used but I Plainly Heard!
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I KNEW I was with JESUS .. Though I cannot Tell you What He looked like, because there seemed to Be Just Light I was Very Aware I was in His Embrace of Pure Love and Light.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was aware at some point of my progenitors. I was aware of Hundreds of them . That is because it was explained to me that I had Chosen to come to Earth to complete a Certain Mission. The Mission was unique to Me but Also had a Universal impact. I needed a specific DNA if you will and my ancestors had united in Love to give That to me! There were No mistakes in My birth.. Perfection Universal.!
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? Yes I had a life review which caused me to ‘ Hang my Head’ (what Head?) in shame because ‘He’, had seen it too. Then I turned to Him in amazement and asked, ‘How could this Be? You Saw my Life and Yet Your Love for Me did not Waver or Change?’ He replied( in essence). ‘You are a child of God and God is Love! You are a Part of God and God is Love.. God knows only Love! But for You to Understand this you Must forgive Yourself and your ‘human’ failings and see yourself as God sees you Which is Only As Love!’ I Remember Nothing of that Life Review.. Only that I Had One and that Love is ‘All’.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was aware that I was in another Realm. Not necessarily a Place ..
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time did not exist. How do you describe Forever..? Eternity? No End? Timeless?
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
EVERYTHING MADE COMPLETE SENSE.. I GOT IT!!
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
I did Not want to return. I Reminded Jesus( ha ha.. Even He laughed in great joy at My Reminding) That He had Promised Me Free Agency and I was Choosing to hold to that Promise And Stay with Him.. For sure He said Free Choice was Mine! But maybe He could Help me make a more informed Choice by showing me some future events in the lives of my children and how my death would Forever Impact them. I communicated to Him that my Sons had a Wonderful Father and that He could adequately take My Place. At some Point He showed me My Husbands Death.. And that my Sons would then be ‘orphaned’, at a Young age. It was then through Great Compassionate caring and love for my Sons that I Chose to return.. I did not remember Seeing my husbands death once I came back but Knew that something very Profound had been shown to me to encourage me to return to my body.. 4 years later my Husband died as a result of an accident.. During the four days it took him to die, the part of My Near Death that I had forgotten was shown to me again..
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes I was Never Not Aware of my continued existence. I was aware of my progenitors.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes I knew that I was in the Presence of God! I was very Surprised at the form of communication as I ‘Heard Words’, but No Words were Actually Spoken .. I Asked Why? What form of Communication were we using?
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? Uncertain Before my NDE I had Never given re-incarnation any real thought. But upon returning I ‘Felt’ there was truth in it some way. Not Certain What? Universal consciousness-- Cellular Memory from my Ancestors? Past lives ? Parallel lives as time is non existing? But no longer feel ‘Singular’ so to speak.. ???????
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Yes I Became Aware of a Beautiful Flower. It bent toward me and I could Feel love ... It was Alive with Energy and Love. It was like a Big Gerber Daisy almost .. Brilliant , glowing , Orange I could feel it had intelligence. I commented in Awe that this Flower was Alive andLoving me and was told Yes .. Everything was created in Love for me!! Then I became Aware of the Universal connection, love andoneness of All Creation .
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? Yes As in the above description of the Beach scene.. I realized that We are each on an individual mission of Growth, learning , understanding, experiencing and Enjoying.. But just as it is Individual it is ALSO Universal as We all Alone and Collectively add to Creation.. And expansion of Earth. everyone Touches -everyone Contributes Everyone Is Connected!!!!
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes As in the above description of the Beach scene.. I realized that We are each on an individual mission of Growth, learning , understanding, experiencing and Enjoying.. But just as it is Individual it is ALSO Universal as We all Alone and Collectively add to Creation.. And expansion of Earth. everyone Touches -everyone Contributes Everyone Is Connected!!!!
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes As I was about to return He reminded me ‘Remember, Laura, that the ONLY THING YOU GET TO BRING BACK WITH YOU WHEN YOU ‘DIE’ IS LOVE. LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT IS REAL !!’ .
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes There is No Death.. I have Been.. Will Always Be.. I am A Part of God and and as such I Am Love.
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I Hoped that there was life beyond Death .. Because I was taught that as a child . Now I Know there is No Death as there was not One Second in which I did Not Exist as Laura. Also I Really became Spiritual .. Not Religious.. There was Just So Much more than I Could Ever Have Imagined! Also got a Glimpse of the Perfection , connection and Love of all things and for a moment UNDERSTOOD .
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience My remembrance has expanded as events in my life have taken place. Like Flashbacks almost. As when my Husband was dying.. I fell asleep at the foot of his bed and a memory flooded me that was so Stark and Real that it could not be denied.. I knew I had seen the events around his Death when I Had my NDE..
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: I look at life much differently. Open minded when it comes to organized religion .. Can not subscribe to Any.. Feel Deeply Connected to All of Man Kind . God is LOVE. there is No Such thing as a Judgment from God. His Love Is Unconditional. We are All a part of God and Each Other -- there is No Greater.. There is No Lesser .. We are One .. As. Human Being living on Earths plain some things are Very difficult to understand or Explain ..but in the End we will Get It. Love is All there Is! God Resides in Me .. Since my return I can feel The Spark when ever I Pause to do So .. It is Universal.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes Greatly opened my mind. God does Not Judge. ( see above comments).
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of them!
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Seem to have moments of Awareness. Sometimes Know Stuff . Have Dreams that have Come true. I do not have Any Fear of non Existence. Unusual experiences have happened to me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of them!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was many many years .. Slightly mentioned It in passing sometimes .. Have been doing Hospice for seven years .. Mention it often . Since 2001 it has guided my Life almost entirely!
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I was in shock! I tried to tell my Dr. But he didn't want to hear it. I Did not know in what context to explain it. when I read Dr. Raymond Moody's book I was Greatly relieved!!! Felt alone.. Did not know how to think about it or explain it .. Did not think Anyone would want to hear it or really believe me... But could never Have denied the Reality!! Knew it was Real!!!! Too many unknown things were explained to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real It Happened!! It was Real . Know I was meant to Share it in the work I was Chosen to do!
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I look at life differently.. Very open minded. I expect Guidance .. Know I am Never Never Alone! I am more tolerant of all people and life .. feel a sacredness to all of creation.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I do not adhere to any specific organized religion. I am Me .. Whatever that is .. Spiritual .. Feel deeply connected!
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes As mentioned earlier when my husband was dying as a result of an accident. Also, this may sound strange, but when I Saw the Movie contact with Jodie Foster Chills began to run down my spine and when she was Drifting in space, and the colors of the Sky and the Expansiveness if the Universe appeared I could not stop the Tears from Flowing. Nothing compared to what I Saw but a Flash!
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? When I had my NDE it was difficult to process it. Then I read Dr. Moody's book. Vowed that someday I would meet him I was so grateful and wanted to thank him.. Also we shared the same last name.. I thought that was Awesome.. Fast forward to 2001.. Through a Very Strange series of Events I found out He was teaching at a college in Las Vegas.. I was living there at that time . I called him and Hw invites me to speak to a couple of his classes . But before I went to speak an even stranger sequence of events occurred that led me to a story of one of my ancestors that had Also had a NDE and written about it in 1900. All which led me to sell my Recycling company that I had started with my young sons after their Dad died and then pursue a career as a Hospice and Grief Counselor. Now I tell my story whenever it seems Needed for my pts. Or their family.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I have not written the narrative completely .. But have described a great deal of it. This format was wonderful! Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire. Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you? Death Is Everywhere.. Wars constantly on the News.. People are Deeply Grieving .. I Wish there were Centers where people could go to talk openly about their losses .. Sanctuaries of healing where people could Hear and Feel the message of those who have had NDE.
Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire. Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None I can think of . I will send my summary of my NDE at later date.