EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
Sometime during the operation, I became conscious and
was freezing cold. I could smell a strong antiseptic odor, could hear a
continual beep (which I guess was the heart monitor) and could hear conversation
above me as people worked, and was aware of a tight clamping feeling over my
abdomen. I tried desperately to let the staff know I'd awoken, but could not
open my eyes or even move. So I just lay there hoping I'd sleep again when very
suddenly the beeping sound started to quicken then leveled out - I knew what was
happening and very calmly & clearly thought "I'm dying" and felt no fear which
was surprising as up until then I'd always been terrified of death. Just as this
happened I felt the most incredible feeling of everything just coming together
inside me and it was the most beautiful feeling of warmth & joy. I felt myself
rising upwards and was surprised that I could hear that level ringing sound so
clearly though I was not in my body. I didn't see anything or go through the
tunnel, but do believe this will happen next time.
This was all very strange, because at that time I had just become involved with
my current partner, was deeply in love and ecstatically happy with dying being
nowhere my desire, but that happiness does not compare with the very deep
feeling of joy and totality I felt during this experience and I would give
anything and everything to feel this way again.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No It is difficult to explain the feeling of totality & wholeness.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Uncertain It happened during my gallbladder removal.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
When I was rising upwards.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
When I was rising upwards.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Uncertain See #6
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Just pure joy.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain I was not aware of time at all during this.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain Sometimes I feel acutely aware of other people's pain.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Immediately I came awake in recovery I told a close friend who was
there. I also tried to tell staff nurses, surgeon etc.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real please see above answer.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
As I
said at the time I wasn't ready to go, so the joy I felt when it was happening
was a surprise and that is what I've never forgotten and want back so badly.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Lately I've been having such a strong
desire to go that I'm close to doing something about it to experience more of
what might have continued. However I'm aware that maybe it would be different if
I did this, but the memory I have of it is like no other.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Uncertain
Things went very badly for a while years ago, but now I realize where I am
wrong, and try to make the attempt to rectify what I can.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes I came awake during another operation in 1992, and was actually in the
middle of sharing an old joke with an 11 year old girlfriend that only we knew
about. I can't really work that out.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I
truly do believe that life after death is true and real, and I'm looking forward
to more experiences when my time does come, I pray that I will be understood,
and I look forward & slightly fear the review, so at least I too will discover
things about myself that I am unsure about now.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes It would have been hard to speak about this if the above questions
weren't asked in the manner they were. I am grateful for having been able to do
this.
