Kathy S NDE 6376

Kathy S NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was struggling to breathe. I could feel myself fading away-- the room faded out and everything was focused on just trying to breathe. I realized I couldn't see anything. My thoughts were getting fuzzy--- everything in me was just focused on trying to breathe. I could hear my husband's voice and just kept struggling to breathe. Then I realized I couldn't feel my arms or my legs or any of my body, just this horrible chest pressure and struggling to breathe. Then all of a sudden, I felt a "Whoosh" and suddenly everything was perfectly clear. My mind felt sharp and alive and I felt wonderful. Then I realized I wasn't breathing, and I didn't need to breathe. I had no body. For some reason I felt like I was floating above the bookcase in my room, but I couldn't see anything. It was all dark. I felt wonderful, sharp, alive, completely at peace. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything was just fine, everything was exactly how it was meant to be. It was an incredibly peaceful and yet energizing feeling. I was still completely me, although I had no body. Then I realized that I had no body, and I felt like "No, I am not leaving my daughter." I have 3 kids but for some reason it was really important that I not leave the 2 year old. I thought I started to see a little light in the distance, and it is hard to describe how I felt, but it was almost like I felt stubborn, like "I will not go into that light. I am not leaving. I am not ready." Then it was like SLAM, I was suddenly back in my body and I could hear the medics saying, "It is OK, we are putting in the tube," and I realized I was intubated.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes I had a severe asthma attack and a respiratory arrest. My husband called EMS, but there was a snowstorm, and it took 40 minutes for the ambulance to arrive. They intubated me and resuscitated me.

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I realized I was not breathing.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt so certain that everything was exactly as it was meant to be. I can't fully explain it, but it was a feeling of knowing and certainty.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I did not have any vision during the experience. Everything was dark, then I began to see a little light, but then it ended. So I didn't really have any vision to speak of.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could not hear anything during the experience. Before I stopped breathing, I was able to hear my husband's voice, then I just heard a loud "WHOOSH." Then I left my body.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Very calm and peaceful at first. Then, although I remained peaceful, I had a feeling of determination that I needed to get back to my body.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   I started to see a light, but consciously willed it to stop and decided I needed to go back to my body.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I am not sure where I was, but I was not in my body. For some reason, I felt like I was still in my room, but floating over my bookcase. however, I could not see anything.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
Yes, I could not explain it now, but at the time, everything made perfect sense and I knew everything was happening exactly as it was supposed to. It was almost a feeling of perfect faith and understanding that all was well.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life
I realized that I was not in my body, and although I felt so peaceful, I KNEW that I needed to get back there for my 2 year old. It was so important that she did not forget me. I knew that I was very important for her life, and if she forgot me, her life would be terribly impacted.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was fully conscious, alert, formulating thoughts and felt completely myself, but I was not breathing, could not feel my body. I was out of my body.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   I felt at one with everything. I had no boundaries. I was not in a body.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Uncertain   I knew that I had to return for my daughter. My life was very important for hers.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I was very unsure of my beliefs before this occurred. However, I was raised Catholic. After the experience, I learned that what is "me" transcends my body.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   This was a very important event to me. I felt so alive, so sharp and clear in the midst of this event (struggling to breathe, lack of oxygen for 40 minutes), and I could not understand what happened to me. I remember that night vividly, but could not tell you too much more about my subsequent hospitalization.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I am still a little afraid of dying, because the dying part was horrible. Struggling to breathe for 40 minutes was incredibly horrible, suffocating, I just don't want to go through that again. Hopefully, I will go quickly :) But I am not afraid of death itself at all anymore. I feel very accepting of death and very certain that there is some meaning behind our lives. I will not understand it in this lifetime, but I feel certain that everything happens for a reason. I don't worry much about money or anything, and try to stay away from people that are only focused on material things -- it is most important to just try to be kind to each other.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   A gradual change as I found that material things matter less. I don't need to believe in God, because the word "God" feels so limiting to me. I feel like there is a unity of energy that is all of us. Somehow the word "God" implies some outside being, and I feel like it is all US, not something outside of us.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   It is meaningful to me that I existed outside of my body.

I have always been an intuitive person, but have no special gifts or psychic abilities.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It is meaningful to me that I existed outside of my body.

My daughter, who was 2 at the time of the event, was recently diagnosed with syringomyelia, a congenital spinal defect. No one would believe her symptoms and I was instrumental in getting her to a specialist and through surgery. I feel like maybe if I was not here, she would be paralyzed in a wheelchair through most of her adulthood.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes I told a few people right away(my mother, my husband, my best friend), because I was so excited and amazed at this experience. They all pretty much blew me off, thought I was hallucinating or had a rush of endorphins from hypoxia or something. My mother seemed frightened and asked me not to talk about it. No one seemed to realize how important this was to me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I believe I had seen something on Oprah or read about Moody's work. I remember that when I left my body, my mind was very sharp. I started to see a light, and I thought, "I will not go in that light." So I must have read about going into the light.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I did not pass out at any time--- I went from fuzzy thoughts (struggling to breathe)to full consciousness (when I stopped breathing), then back to fuzzy thoughts (being intubated), so it felt completely real. I was there.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I can only base this on the fact that I was there and I lived through it. There was nothing dream-like about the experience. i was fully conscious.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I did not have a good relationship with my husband and eventually divorced. I don't want to fake anything anymore. It is very important to me to be genuine in relationships. Somehow I feel that my life is very important, and what I say or do is important. There is a reason for things. I surround myself with people that I care about, and try to avoid those who are selfish or angry.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I am a Unitarian-Universalist, very involved in my church. My congregation is a mix of people of many different beliefs, and I love the fact that we are all seekers, all open to knowing, no one is stuck on dogma.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   I am not sure if it was "real" or not. I can only say how it felt. But I feel that death is not the end-- maybe it is the end of my body but my energy will go somewhere else. Not sure where, but hopefully I will have that same wonderful feeling of peace and certainty.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        I am not sure. Just had a need to share my story because generally people do not want to hear. Death makes them uncomfortable. Or they want to use the story to prove their own afterlife beliefs. I guess I would like to raise awareness that people do experience these things.