Kathi S NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I had suffered pain for months, trying to make it through the holidays before going to the doctor.  When I finally went, he had me go through ultrasounds and testing, determining that I was experiencing the passing of gall stones, and scheduled me for surgery for removal. 

Before surgery, I was in the hall on a gurney, waiting to be wheeled into the surgery suite.  I was extremely cold, and a warmed blanket was placed on me. 

I do not remember anything else until I 'woke up in the recovery room. My eyes had goop in them to keep them from drying out during surgery and I couldn't open them.  I had cotton mouth, and I had a nasal tube delivering oxygen.  My arms were tucked under my body.  I tried to speak, was unable to do so. 

I then left my body, and 'floated' to the ceiling, at the opposite side of the room.  I remember the very large clock - white with black numbers and hands.  I have since forgotten the time, but for years, I could remember the exact second hand placement. 

I sat next to the clock (not on anything, just floating). 

I was enveloped in a warm happy wonderful glow.  Unconditional love.  total peace.  I felt the glow of the light surrounding me, and could see a pinpoint of light off to my side (as if this is where the source was).  I felt it more than anything, knowing it was a glow of love and acceptance more than anything else.

I knew that I was either close to death, or on my way.  I knew that dying was indeed something not to fear, and that I would be at peace when I did die. 

I was so happy.  Having been depressed most of my life, I couldn't believe the bath of unconditional love. 

I looked down at myself lying in the bed - I could still feel the oxygen on my nostrils, the goop in my eyes, and the cotton mouth. 

I saw the nurse come over to me, and gently rub my shoulder, moving it a bit, and saying, it is time to wake up, Kathi.  She struggled to wake me up, and after several attempts, realized that she could not do so.  I was feeling unsure as to whether I would be brought back or not.  The peace I was experiencing was so comfortable, but the knowing I may not go back brought an uncomfortable sense I am unable to describe. 

I then watched as she paged for the Doctor, and called a code.  I do not recall what the code was, I was too focused on watching the medical staff in a flurry of activity, trying to revive me. 

The nurses were washing my eyes, and placing ice chips in my mouth, and undoing my arms from the swaddling they had placed me in.  They spoke in hushed tones, but I could sense the urgency and concern. 

The doctor then came in, and pushed me back and forth by the shoulders.  In a very large voice, said, Kathi, it is time to come back.  We need you to wake up now.  He said this a couple of times, and then said, Kathi, you have to come back, you have 2 little girls that need their mommy, and would be heartbroken if you were to leave now. 

I then jolted awake - back in the bed.   

I feel that doctor had a sense of the life that lay before me, knew my girls would need me, and brought me back.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I was 'brought' back in the recovery room.  I had left my body and watched from above, and the medical staff had a difficult time reviving me.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     I don't feel that words could ever explain the depth and completeness of what I experienced.  I have told people in my life, and each time I struggle to reach the right height.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was totally aware the whole time.  I believe that when I noticed the clock and the warmth of the glow, I was at the highest level.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I always questioned why humans are born, why they endure their lives, just to die.  I felt there had to be more, and was never settled with what religion had given me. 

During my experience, I knew not to fear death.  I became filled with a sense of calm and no worry.  Unconditional love. total complete no judgment.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   During the experience, everything was very vivid, sharp and precise.  I only remember the very warm blanket before hand.  With the passing of time, some of the details (like the placement of the hands of the clock) have diminished, but the feeling will remain forever.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I don't remember too much about my hearing differentiated.  I remember the doctors voice, and the strength and control of it.  I remember the hushed voices of the nurses.  But my sense of what was happening was the most vivid sense I had.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I watched what was happening in the recovery room.  Every detail.  When I asked about it later, it was dismissed as a dream by the medical staff.  I could tell by their expressions they were shocked by my account.  I doubted it at first, but the memory was too vivid, and my entire being had changed from within.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   complete and utter bliss.  unconditional love and acceptance.  no judgment towards me, or me towards anything.  I just was.  and incredibly happy.  until I saw my body, then I was totally confused and bewildered as to what was going to happen next.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   I felt it and felt as though I were basking in it.  It was indescribable.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I saw the time on the clock, but lost all sense of time.  It appeared that the medical staff was concerned, like it had been too long, but I had no sense of time at all.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
I knew I was one with everything/being on the planet, and of the universe, and of those who had passed away before me.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life
I feel like I made the decision to return, with the prompting of the doctor.  I wasn't asked to return, the doctor 'jarred' me back to life.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I knew/felt that we all continue on, and to trust that.  I was not given details as to what that will be, but that I will be basked in unconditional love and all judgments will cease to exist.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   The universe is one, and we all make up the supreme being.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   The universe is one, and we all make up the supreme being.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   I was enveloped with unconditional love, and knew from the experience on, that that was to be how I should live.  It is our essence.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   I was enveloped with unconditional love, and knew from the experience on, that that was to be how I should live.  It is our essence.  Also, to strive to be non judgmental in everyday life.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I always struggled with the question of there has to be more, and I was unsure, but now know, that unconditional love and acceptance is mine.  I was enlightened to the universe and the oneness of us all - I was not aware of this possibility until my experience

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I suffered terribly with depression before the surgery, so was in a fog.  My memory was day to day.  After the experience, I could remember it vividly.  I then sunk into a deep depression and was medicated for a year.  It was a full year, and I knew I needed to get well, as being medicated, I could not remember anything, and I so desperately needed to be present in my life and remember my experience. 

I weaned myself off the meds (trazadone) and read every self help book I could get my hands on.  I began dabbling with yoga, and going to every church/religious experience I could to affirm what had happened to me during my experience. 

I did not find anyone who accepted my story (people thought I was loony) so I stopped telling my story.  A few select people have heard it over the years.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I have vivid dreams/visions (both when I am awake and asleep) of events.  Both future and current time.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   The whole event is tremendously meaningful.  It brought peace to my soul.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   I had visions/dreams before the event, so I am unsure as to whether I have them more now, or if I am just more aware of them, and accepting of them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The whole event is tremendously meaningful.  It brought peace to my soul.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I immediately said something to the medical staff.  They dismissed it just as quickly.   Leaving me wondering. 

I shared it with a few people, and was thought to be loony.