Katalin F NDE
As I was fighting to stay afloat the freezing temperature of the water, I could feel the weight of my boats pulling me under. I was exhausted, the water was so could I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't seem to be able to swim, all I could do was try to stay afloat. I looked at the moon which was full, large and low on the horizon and I said, "I believe in you God, please don't let me die this way" and with that I went under from exhaustion. My lungs where burning, I felt like they were about to explode and my brain was slowing down not wanting to think anymore.
I thought the words, "release me" and in that instant I was released from my body, the pain and exhaustion were gone. I was next to my body and acknowledged it and with that acknowledgment I started moving through a portal. It wasn't my conscious decision to do so, I was just aware that I was still me just without my body and that I was moving through a portal. This portal wasn't taking me up or down, it wasn't an earthly direction, I was aware that it was into and through, like an inter-dimensional thing. I ended up in this place like a waiting-room, it was dark, not like a regular waiting room, it was just a place. I was aware of an older lady and a young boy, it wasn't that I could see them so clearly, it was more like I could just sense there presents. They were like me a being without a specific physical presence but more shaped by who they where. I didn't recognize them as anyone I knew nor did they pay attention to me, we were just there. I missing some memory here but I think I transported again or the place changed while I stayed the same.
Next thing I remember is this tear-dropped shaped orb came toward me it was clear but dense and it was meaningful. As it came up to me, I focused on it and as I focused on it colors rotating and revolving started to form images and those images I realized that I recognized and the it all started to make sense. I can not tell you now what it was that made so much sense all I know is that I felt I had answers to questions, things made sense and I was relieved and satisfied. The orb left and I started being moved through another portal this one brought me to "him", who was he? He, she, it, I am most comfortable referring to him as Christ. He was home, love, I knew him well and he knew me. I was very happy to see him and he was glad to see me, he liked me, he loved me, he adored me. I was such a dark, puny, pathetic looking being and he looked at me as if I was just perfect and wonderful, fully adoring me. How can I best explain this? When you are just a young child about 4 years old and you think you have lost your mom but the whole time your mom knows where you are and that your safe, so when you find her, you run to her anxiousness turning into relief. She is not worried she just gathers you up in a loving embrace and all you know and feel is the relief and joy of that. She loves you more than anything and you feel so safe and cared for, nothing else matters, that's what it feels like.
After our embrace I we started communicating our love not diminished or set aside during the talk, I couldn't take my eyes of his beautiful face. He didn't look like a person. He was a light, the light, this light is intelligent and loving and healing and nurturing and safe and kind, it is wise and very very real more real than anything you can hold in your hand, he did kind of have an outline, a shape, a form, not jus a blob of light. That is why I refer to him as a he because to me his form was more masculine than feminine. Every time I think back to him I smile and relax, I wish so badly I was still with him. I wish we all knew and felt him. Anyway, we started communicating, we didn't need to speak words, its a very limited form of communication, you know. I just had a thought or a feeling and he acknowledged it and I with him, very simple, very pure. I don't recall the exact, entire exchange but I remember the jest of it. He told me, I was going back and why it was to be that way. As he was letting me know this something was happening past him. You know when your in a dark room and you crack the door open just a bit to reveal the light coming in from the hall just outside that room, imagine how that looks well, that's what was happening we were in the dark room and the door was cracking open to reveal this place that was attracting my being like a moth to the flame and what he was saying didn't matter because I just wanted to go there, I had to go there, I belonged there. But he sobered me a bit with the reality of the situation, I had to go back. The funny thing was I knew that I could defy him I knew I had the will to say, "no I'm going through that door" but I also knew that he was right and that I had to go.
As soon as I resigned to go rather than defy him, the decision was made and we instantly and with great force moved away from the light, as we were moving I watched him in amazement, he looked very much like a god in the form of a lightning bolt. So handsome and strong and powerful! and there we were back in the river next to my body and without hesitation he put his mouth over my body's mouth and he breathed life back into it and in an instant he was gone as if he had never even been there, I felt his absence it was so dark, cold, lonely, and pointless without him. I watched my body come up to catch my first breath. It was awful to watch this body come up for a breath of air, it looked so haggard and grotesque, like a nightmare. As soon as I filled my lungs with air, I jumped back in my body, I didn't will it, it just happened. Instantly I felt the mind-numbing burning pain and exhaustion that inflamed my body. I heard a voice say, "float on your back" I mustered up all the energy I had to flop my body over so that I was in the position to float on my back, I looked up at the moon and thought, as long as I can see the moon I know im alive and with that thought I blacked out.
woke up motoring closer to the shore, I mean I was moving so fast that it
couldn't have been me moving but something propelling me. I felt a pain on my
right side between my ribs and underarm, as if I had all my weight baring on a
log and the bark was scratching up my skin. I looked to that area but that area
where I felt the log under me was hallow, so I extended my left arm over to my
right side between my chest and arm but there was in fact nothing there but I
felt it, the pressure of my weight baring down on top of the log so that the
bark of the tree was tearing, scratching into my skin was real but there was
nothing to be seen so I looked all around me, nothing but me in the river and me
motoring toward shore but I was upright in the water and my legs were still I
was not the one doing the moving but I was moving. My feet high ground and I
scattered out of that water and up the shore as if something in the water was
after me trying to turn me into a mid-night snack. The water was so cold that
when I got out and was exposed to the air my skin felt like it was on fire. I
looked back out into the water but not logs to be seen anywhere, nothing was in
the water to help explain how I was propelled to shore.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes words limit the experience.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes drowning
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know how to answer this, I was conscious and alert the whole time accept when I blacked out. I would say I was more conscious and alert when I was in my body because that's when I felt the danger and the pain. outside of my body I was more relaxed because there was no physical pain.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: I don't know how to answer this, I was conscious and alert the whole time accept when I blacked out. I would say I was more conscious and alert when I was in my body because that's when I felt the danger and the pain. outside of my body I was more relaxed because there was no physical pain.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes Like when I looked into the orb, the colors the clarity was amazing
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)? No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, love so pure I could talk about it for hours!
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes
Did you see a light? Yes
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Uncertain
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes time was not an issue, it just didn't matter
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes but I forgot it as soon as I went back into my body, my guess is its supposed to be that way!
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? No
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes I talked about it a lot after it first happened. People where generally amazed by the story, I don't know if they believed me that it really did happen but it was a positive response. I don't talk about it anymore, not sure why, but im here telling you, people should know that death is a wonderful journey, its not to be feared.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I'm sure I was aware to some degree, I was sixteen and it was sixteen years ago, I don't remember details but I know I didn't study or research it before it happened.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real That it happened, it is a real experience. Some one could spend all day trying to explain it away and I would just smile at them pleasantly feeling kind of bad for them because they just don't know.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, meeting him and hanging out with him. Can't wait till I go back!
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real I have tried to look at it from a scientific or speculative view but the driftwood that drug me to shore always reminds me of how real it actually was. you cant explain that away!
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes