Justin U NDE
Following an accident it is difficult to pin down exactly when during the following week that I had the experience, as I was in surgery much and also in an Coma for the following week. I do remember though that being transferred from one Accident and Emergency Hospital to a specialist unit, as the medics could not help further and after being resuscitated and deteriorating further as part of the experience. The ambulance that took me by police escort to the specialist trauma surgical team drove for a distance up a motorway at night. When I awoke from the coma I had an clear recollection of Flying above the scene looking down going backwards looking down on the ambulance, keeping pace with it. I also remembered clearly an family member in the front of the ambulance going with me being sick into an bag. This was verified afterwards and the only part of the experience that I can put an actual exact time on.
The following experiences in memory don't seem to be linked as following on directly from that. I remember clearly though initially being in a very big void of darkness. There was some danger or negative aspects/beings/entities involved but I did not remember seeing or experiencing them just being aware of them. Then I moved quickly to an warm and absolute feeling of love and light. On the way though to it I was stopped. Some beings both what seemed like beings of light and love, and some family members who had passed away were in a semi circle and I stopped just before them. They looked (the family members) as they did on earth but where not material and all had much light, calmness and serenity about them. I saw my Aunty who died at age 7 one year before I was born. I described to family members the exact clothes, and certain jewelry she had on the day she died, which was confirmed. It was impossible to have this information without seeing it. They seemed to be welcoming me. The beings of light with them seemed not to have ever been in an material body. They could be described as angels. However they had no wings but I can understand where that comes from in history. The love radiating from their hearts was so powerful and large it surrounded their upper body almost like wings.
This bit is a bit blurred then. I seemed to leave them but I don't remember moving, before coming back to them later. I went to the light which was above them and just pure unconditional love and acceptance. As I moved towards it I felt no fear but do remember saying/thinking I am sorry for anything wrong I had done in life. At that time I then experienced a partial life review.
Many events in my life I experienced, but not from how I remembered it, but from the point of view, I experienced it from how the people, animals, environment experienced it around me. I felt it as my own. The times I had made others happy, and sad, I felt it all as they did. It was very apparent that every single thought word and action affects everything around us and indeed the entire universe. Trees plants animals to. I have been a long term vegetarian since about 18 yrs old and I know this was appreciated and is a good choice in life. Spiritually it seemed to show proof of respect for all life, and even seemed to balance some of the negative and wicked things I have done in my life. In the Life review we judge ourselves; no one else does, the light/god did not, but with no ego left and no lies we can't hide from what we have done and feel remorse and shame, especially in the presence of this love and light.
Some of the things in life we think of as important don't seem to be so important there. But some of the insignificant things from the material human perspective are very important spiritually.
After this review there seemed to be some kind of balance that I had done wrong, however had done much good to, and as I was genuinely sorry for those things I then started to get closer to the light again, it is beyond description, the love, acceptance and oneness of everything is so profound.
Then though, and I am not sure if this is just a disjointed memory, or if it happened in the timeline like this, I was back with the semi circle of beings and family. I seemed to be looking up at my grandfather, he had so much love and light about him for me. He was seeming to wanting for me to go with him, but I knew I had to go to the light not with him. He seemed sad but still full of love for me. As I looked up an Tear fell from his right eye as if he would miss me. This is why it is disjointed as below:
I seemed then to be practically next to the light/love (I hesitate to use the word God as it is non judging, and we create our world more than I realized before, we can create an heaven or hell depending on what we do in life surely the starving fields of Africa with children dying hot, arid diseases war is hell, and the joyous bliss of love and helping is heaven? we create this not someone else, also God is a separate thing this love and light to my experience was oneness, something in all of us we block out as I will describe further now)
I was ready to start to merge with the love and light, but not fully and seemed to for a while (though time does not exists as we experience it there) the feeling of oneness and love and bliss and knowing is profound. I knew if I merged totally "I" would disappear would become one will it and all. Being so close to it and bathing in it was an experience that can never ever be put into words or described properly. As I was resting close to it and getting closer and closer, basking I became aware of the earth way below me/us. I was at that time asking many questions which were answered, anything I wanted to know and understand, I remember clearly understanding everything, however this information seems to have been blocked upon returning to material form, but I know I understood all then.
Seeing the earth I became aware of several things. I could see many other spirits beings who were also leaving their bodies and moving away from the earth. However many of them in their spiritual bodies seemed to not be able to see the light and love above. They had almost like clouds above their heads, like clouds blocking out the sun, it's still there but we can't see it. I was very aware that those clouds where there thought and feeling patterns, the more angry, hateful, bitter etc the bigger and darker these clouds which is just another description for their minds. The more negative ones also seemed to be looking down not even up. I could experience their feelings and anger etc, and wanted them to look up and see the love and come to the light, but I couldn't get my message to them. This is part of the experience that is not nice. Those negative beings seemed to come from the earth and go down away from the light, I was aware of them going to a void/darkness/suffering or perpetual round and round in circles in their experiences/mind of the negative record player almost habits of thoughts and feelings. I was aware of them going somewhere like hell, but I was not allowed or it has been blocked from my memory. The love and light didn't want them to experience that, and was doing all it could to let them come to it. But they could not or would not accept or see it. It was obvious they were creating this experience, not a separate devil or god punishing them. Maybe their life review filled them with so much remorse they had to punish themselves. Maybe in the life review they did not feel any remorse and just anger at when others had felt good in their suffering or downfall.
I do know though that it was their choice their creation not a separate god's choice or devil. I never experienced any type of separate devil or being calling them. They just could not see the light their minds/hearts were obstructed by there current and past thoughts, habits it was there so bright and obvious to me but they just could not see it. Maybe it was where I was going or what I experienced in the beginning when in the void and seemed aware of some negative entities/beings. I am no saint and have done much wrong in my life so I do not understand still why I was never like that myself.
Some were coming to the light, or looking up had no dark swirling or just a bit of energy above and around their heads. But from what I remember only a really small percentage maybe 1 in 100 or less. I am still worried to this day about the following as I am scared to become one of those who couldn't see it.
I became aware too, of beings mainly human on the earth still alive, and could again see this either clearness or light about them or dark swirling thoughts energy. Again very very few seemed to be positive. A few a couple in each continent seemed to be material form and able to see the light whilst alive, they were looking up smiling aware of it with no dark negative thoughts/energies around them, maybe 10 or 20 in the whole world. The rest of humanity had a mixture, but most were looking down and had much darkness about them. I then understood at that time that this is an important time indeed on the earth, there are other planets and other beings out there, but for humans on the earth this is a very important time. We seem to be on a precipice and either total destruction or a better way seems to be on a razor edge. This love/Light is not going to do anything to us, or smite us, we do it all and we create it all. We choose by our love for others and helping or selfishness. I was made aware of some things coming up very important but this again was blocked. It seemed as if two scenarios could play out on earth, one of them made me so sad but again I can't remember it its blocked.
Whilst watching this which probably happened in less than an second as time is so different there, I was getting closer to the light but turning away from facing it watching this on the earth and souls leaving the material. I had a feeling of such love for all beings, and such sadness at the pain and confusion by those who couldn't see this love and light but had died; and those on the earth suffering, these emotions were so unlike anything I've ever experienced. So strong, and I realized too, that our emotions - that love and compassion is what ultimately holds everything together, all is love but like the clouds of energy above many we just don't see it. It does not mean though that it doesn't not pervade all that is, and is in every atom and molecule.
My heart seemed to leap out wanting to help ease the suffering of what I could see I just wanted to help, to let all experience some of this love and light that I was basking in.
With that thought, the experience changed immediately I felt like on a rollercoaster falling over the top, moving faster than light itself.
That was the last of the experience. I awoke from the coma in December 2004 about a week after the accident. I had been resuscitated a few times. Also had emergency surgery a few times. It was said I would never walk or talk again on December 3rd even if I survived. I walked unaided out of the hospital with no drugs or support package on December 23rd 2004. The stats for my mortality were 75% day one 90% in following 2-3 days. Yearly 20-30% mortality every year since. 0-5% chance of communicating/walking again thereafter, then with difficulty.
It took me a year of many many repeated tests and such like to persuade the Driving Authorities in the UK Med Dept that the recovery had happened. I have a letter from their medical dept stating that even though what happened it is obvious this is the case, and I have again a full driving license.
I experienced an Epidural Hematoma x 3. I was not found until at least 5 hours after the event and already at Glasgow coma scale of 2-3 when the paramedics arrived. I had 1/2 of my skull removed to deflate the pressure, and to access the bleeds, which made me crash 2 times within admittance to the specialist dept. These events are very dangerous anyway and carry high mortality and long term disabilities. To say mine was at the extreme end of such an event is to put it mildly, as it was x 3 and initial surgery did not work and the length of time until treatment.
The fact I walked unaided with no painkillers and with no support package out of hospital less than one month later, or two weeks from waking from coma in specialist ICU with 1/2 of or most of my right skull removed is in itself some proof that the events were extraordinary.
I did also experienced
for a couple of days after waking an awareness of non material beings in the
hospital, the same sorts of beings that I experienced in the NDE. Some were bad
some where good. I no longer am aware of them, I could almost see them.
Sometimes now I get a feeling that a particularly powerful good or bad one is
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words cannot convey most of what I experienced as there is no language to describe it. Also names, language and labels "separate" things into this and that, the biggest part of the experience is "oneness" so words do not convey this. Even "Oneness" implies something else which is false from that plane or state of experience.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes Glasgow coma scale 0-1. Coma for 7-8 days. Life support. ICU. Resuscitation. Emergency Surgery x 3.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All of it, but esp. so when close to the light and beings, seemed foggy or weighed down in the void bit. Not alert just aware and watching when chasing the ambulance in the initial NDE like an passive observer.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: All of it, but esp. so when close to the light and beings, seemed foggy or weighed down in the void bit. Not alert just aware and watching when chasing the ambulance in the initial NDE like an passive observer.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes It is so different description is futile.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love Compassion Peace Joy Fear Purpose.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Uncertain Maybe the initial void.
Did you see a light? Yes AS Description of event.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes As Description of event.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Yes Every thing that you do to others you will experience yourself from their point of view, there is no you and I, just all is one, but in this lifetime our perception limits it to our experience of this body. we are all "god" experiencing itself from different points of view. Animals are important to, they feel, all beings that feel pain or pleasure are in your hands, it is the right thing to do to never cause pain or be violent. Always show compassion. Love others as you love your own eyes.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes As Description.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes Initial Void and Light.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Time is an illusion it is very different there one second could be millions years and vice versa, thoughts and movement are not contradicted by time in spirit.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes Has been blocked mainly.