Johanna S NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I had been living with my adoptive mother (who was actually my aunt).  She was extremely controlling and didn't like my "natural" mother, who was her sister-in-law.  My adoptive father died in 1963.  He acted as a buffer between my adoptive mother and my own mother who was his sister.  Things just got so bad that I had to move out to live with an aunt and uncle, my father's sister and brother-in-law.  (I had been adopted within the family, and considered their home as my second home.) I had been working in a bank and had a transfer to a different branch. Three weeks after I moved there, my boss (the assistant manager) called me into his office and started saying that I was useless, that I couldn't do anything, all the things my adoptive mother had told me all my life.  My adoptive mother's face and voice came over the top of the manager's face and voice and it was her who was yelling at me, telling me I was stupid and couldn't do anything.  I completely lost the plot and screamed and yelled at the poor man, thinking that it was mother.  I was terrified and so was he!  I went home, left a note for my aunt saying that I'd gone to bed.  She came up and screamed at my uncle to fetch the doctor.  He arrived, and I heard him say that if I lived the night, which he doubted, I would last a month. 

I floated above my bed and remember thinking, "You poor thing.  You do look ill."  The body on the bed had absolutely nothing to do with the me that was floating near the ceiling.  I floated through the roof and went into a revolving tunnel.  I was so tired that I sat down in the middle of the tunnel.  Someone came along and said that I couldn't stay there, that I had to move to the light.  He showed me a pin prick of light that seemed a million miles away.  I burst into tears and said that I couldn't move.  He once again said that I couldn't stay where I was.  I said once more that I was so tired that I couldn't move. He called for help and said that I had returned, but I was very tired.  There were a lot of people around and I was carried towards the light.  It was very bright, but not blinding.  It was obvious that I was not expected. One person behind the light, on the left hand side, said I should stay because I had had a very hard life.  Someone on the right hand side said I should go back because my work was not finished.  A voice in the middle told me to go for a walk while they decided.  I found myself walking along a path next to a river. People were sitting on the right hand side of the river, on a river bank, either on their own or in groups, talking or reading or just sitting quietly.  The feeling of peace and total acceptance was overwhelming. The colors were so bright.  There's nothing like them on earth. Eventually, I was called back and told I had to come back here because my work was not finished yet. I was told that when I do go back, in many years time, I will not  be returning here. People were milling round, or so it seemed to me, asking what the verdict was.  When they were told I was returning, there was uproar, with people saying that it wasn't fair and I should stay. I started literally kicking and screaming and saying that I wanted to stay there. I didn't want to go back.  However, I entered the revolving tunnel once more and hovered again above my body, before I floated down and settled back into it. 

When I woke up, I have no idea how long the experience took, I went to get a drink from the night stand on the right hand side of the bed.  I couldn't move my arm. I thought I must have had a cramp. Then I tried to move my leg and nothing happened.  I went to call out, because I was so terrified, but nothing happened.  No sound came out.  I had suffered a massive stroke on my right hand side.  I was totally unable to move, talk or, at that stage, even think.  I was terrified. But I knew that, eventually, I would be okay. I knew that I would be one day, able to walk and talk again.  Which I did.  I lost my eldest son to suicide in 2000.  He knew of my experience, I told my two sons all about it, and apparently that helped Andrew when he went over.  It was not so scary for him.  I think the biggest problem that we have is in being believed.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When I was walking along the river bank.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal  

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   The colors were so much more vivid than anything we experience on earth.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I don't think I was hearing with my ears.  It appeared to be telepathic.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I was extremely tired, on all possible levels.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I was in front of a bright light and three people spoke.  One on the left, one on the right and one in the middle.  The one in the middle spoke to me directly, the others didn't.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   Hard to explain. They obviously knew me, but I had no recollection of them.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will
I was told that my work was not finished and so I had to return.  I was told that when I return, in many years time, I will not return here again.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I knew that I was not on the earth.  I knew that I was elsewhere. The tunnel revolved and was very noisy.  Also, I had been floating above my body laying on the bed, and that body on the bed had nothing to do with the Me that I was at that time.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   The feeling of love and total acceptance surrounded me.;

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I was told that my work has not been completed.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Although I had been sent to a Methodist church and Sunday school, etc., I had no real concept of anything that was not of this world.  None of my parents discussed anything of a religious nature with me. I'm not sure I believed what I had been taught at church or in Sunday school.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience  

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Since my experience, I have read books about spiritual ideas from all types of religions.  I no longer fear death.  I know where I am going when I leave the Earth.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I knew that there was more to life than just this life. I knew absolutely that there is more.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   Just knowing that there is more than just this experience, which we call life, that there is life after what we call death.  I was once married to an atheist, which was interesting. I have also been married to someone who was bought up in the Catholic religion.  Neither of them believed what I told them.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I can speak telepathically to animals, but whether or not I could do this before my experience, I'm not sure. I do know that my clairvoyant capabilities increased.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Just knowing that there is more than just this experience, which we call life, that there is life after what we call death.  I was once married to an atheist, which was interesting. I have also been married to someone who was bought up in the Catholic religion.  Neither of them believed what I told them.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I was not believed.  I still am not. I am still told by some that I have "a vivid imagination" and that no one tells us what happens when we die.  My eldest son, who died of suicide in 2000, was helped because I told him about my experience.  He has come back since and contacted me to let me know he's okay.  He's doing well and is now "free" and helping his brother to become free too.  Free from what I'm not sure.  He suffered from Paranoid Schizophrenia.  My younger son was a drug addict and is an alcoholic.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   It was so vivid that it could not have been anything else.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I have since read a lot about people who have had similar experiences and know absolutely that this happened.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   My family didn't believe me when I told them about my experience and said I must have dreamed it all.  I no longer have any contact with any of them, they live in England and I live in Australia, where I have been since 1972.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I no longer subscribe to any religious belief.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   It was real.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   It is not easy to explain something that is not within the "normal" human experience.  I have done so to the best of my ability and I feel that the questions asked did not in any way "deny" my experience. Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?  

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        Making people aware that there is life after death, or life after "making the transition" as animals call it.  They do not call it "death".  Taking away the fear that can keep people bound to the earth, even though they have physically gone. I helped my adoptive mother to pass over, thirty years after she physically left.  She said, "You didn't tell me about the colors!"  Also, her dog was there to meet her.

Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                    Everyone's adventure is different.  Mine was different to others that I have read about. I don't see how you could improve the questionnaire really.  Except to maybe ask, "Did you have a Death Experience or a Near Death Experience."  There is a vast difference.  I have heard of people who have been to the light and told that their time is not yet, and to go back.  I went past the light before I was sent back.  I went to The Other Side of the Rainbow - and returned.