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Jesse N's NDE

It took place in my flat in London, UK on late February of 2001.after an exhausting day at work I decided it was time for some release, went home with my friend and his girlfriend and a lot of drugs. I went to the bathroom where I shot a lethal injection of cocaine and morphine. It was an instant death.  Although I didn't realized at first. I thought I was kind of sleeping.

So I tried to stand up and I literally came out of my physical body! The sound of that music I can not possibly describe with words cause it simply can not be heard with that clarity in this world! It was breath taking! It was so beautiful. I was ready to explode from joy! I could see both worlds at first.  Although the physical one resembled a black and white movie in comparison with the world in front of me! The colors were out of this world; so deep, so luminous, so beautiful! There was a door in front of me and I could hear joyous laughter coming from inside the door coming from too many people! I had this uncontrollable desire to step inside the door and meet all those souls!

My perception increased on levels I didn't thought existed on a conscious level, although always knew them on a deeper level, locked inside of me!  HOME!  That was HOME! That's the word rung in my ears so loud and so clear! I'm outside time I thought.  Time doesn't exist! I was ready to cross the threshold when I heard footsteps coming from the inside the door. My hearing was so acute, I could sense every little detail. 

This man comes from the door.   I don't think I can find the right words to describe him here.  His eyes was like an endless sea of love; too bright to look at his eyes I thought.  However I started to get used of it! I know him, I thought! I KNOW HIM! I've been knowing him for 1,000 years! a thousand years is nothing here, too short!  No, I've been knowing him for 10,000 years!hmm,10,000 means nothing here, time doesn't exist!  He smiled at me while having those thoughts, nothing is hidden here, everything is revealed.  He knew exactly what I was thinking with immense clarity and I love him, I love him so much, so much love.  I couldn't take it any more, I thought I would explode like a balloon.  He was gazing at me with this infinite love, infinite compassion and infinite peace. I clearly sensed that everything  I've ever done in this life was recorded and he knew every little detail.  He knows me and he loves me beyond description and he knows I am trying to remember who he is, because I forgot, as if I am waking up from a deep dream trying to adjust to reality. 

That's what it felt like, waking up from a dream, waking up to who I truly am and this life was nothing but a dream!  in that glorious moment, I had one desire and one desire alone, to come back to this life and have this experience of rebirth while on a physical body.  So he touched me on the forehead, smiling that compassionate smile, a smile of unlimited love deeper than any ocean you can think, knowing we'll meet again and probably...again, sending me back to my physical body I just left for about five minutes of our earthly time.  I found my friend resuscitating me.  I was back! I am back, knowing we all live forever, joined together by this great LIFE that orchestrates all physical life to the tune of LOVE! The tune of spiritual evolution that everybody takes a part; everything that we meant to experience we do...eventually! God bless!

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Uncertain          although can be communicated with words, I don't think I can fully transmit my experience with words cause it's simply outside of the five senses.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes    I accidentally over dosed on drugs. my physical body was dead for about five minutes.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  the time I got used to looking at his eyes, I was filled with LOVE beyond description!

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:        I can't really...o.k., I was aware everything around me with so much clarity, every detail, I could see the perfection in every sound, the LIFE behind everything, the intensity and the beauty in every color, feeling immeasurable love and acceptance of everything!

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          Yes    the colors was so vivid, so luminous, so clear, with so much detail, totally focused on everything around me, perceived thoroughly, gradually...and that's the paradox, all at once!

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
          Yes    the sound of that music was like nothing I've ever heard before in this world! I could distinguish every detail in that piece of music and with incredible depth! I could perceive every slight motion fully, with immense calm and patience and at the same time with full emotion, especially child like joy!

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?          Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          joy, love, a sense of immense freedom, relief in a way, the relief of knowing who I am!

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        No     

Did you see a light?         Yes    a light yes, but not a blinding light that I couldn't look at. it was rather this type of light emanating from everything around me, although for a moment I thought I couldn't possibly look at this man's eyes! so bright with the unbearable light of love!

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    like I said above, I met this being filled with love, joy, patience, compassion who knew my thoughts and knew everything I've ever done in this life and beyond! he also knew and remember who I am!

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No     

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          Yes    the one I described above, the one I knew as HOME!

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    it's the perception that changed in my case. totally different perception than the one while in this life. so clear and so secure, alert and conscious of every detail around me!

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    started to remember who I really am, and my purpose in this particular lifetime! the knowledge that no-one really dies, death is an illusion!

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      there was this door in front of me with this music coming out and people celebrating with utter joy that I knew and recognize as home. once crossed, I couldn't come back.

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       Yes    I became very sensitive to spiritual matters, I have a discerning nature.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    the first time it was a few minutes after I came back, I told what happened to my two friends were with me! one thought I lost the plot, his girlfriend believed me, I couldn't see it in her eyes, although overwhelmed and maybe in awe because of my dead body preceding that! I didn't widely shared my experience for about two years cause I sensed not many people  would understand or be ready for it! but the two people I shared it with, had an impact, one of them had a few out worldly experiences himself! I joined a spiritual community about three years ago and I shared it with quite a few people and to my surprise they received it gracefully, definitely had an impact on them, however I feel that most of them filtered it through the eyes of their religious attachments or belief system.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No     

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I viewed it as ultimately THE reality in comparison with the physical world, which is more like a dream, a construct to know who we truly are through experience and exercising our free choice! I was feeling it very strong right after it, lost the fear of death completely, days, weeks, months! I feel it very vivid and very much alive five years on! more alive than anything I'll ever do in this world!

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? yes, the fact I felt as if I was waking up from a dream, the fact that I knew that being so well, felt so much love for him, love I thought it didn't exist prior to the experience!

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:          Experience was definitely real         feels the same as before, so real and so true!

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Yes    I know that everything and everyone is a gift to everyone else, and all the people and events in my life are drawn to me like a magnet in order to experience who I am and allow others to experience who they choose to be! So, I started to see the possibility for me to change through relationships and at the same time help others to remember who they are!

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes    although I always somehow knew that this world was never my home, and life is never-ending, I was always searching for my purpose in this life, believe it or not, because of certain religious beliefs used to cast doubt in my mind, momentarily anyways!

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?          Yes    I had a few visions, one I couldn't possibly describe, it's totally out-of-this-world, showed me the journey of my soul to completion, although it's not even a  journey cause it's already done, always IS but not experienced right here and right now, had also dreams and visions to guide me and in one case a major transformation through a dream of a known religious leader.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       I said it all.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes    the questions were quite thorough. covered quite a big area of my experience and serve it's purpose of communicating it.