Jean K NDE 4964
edited for clarity by Judy Shea 7/18/11
I had been ill with a bad case of bronchitis for several weeks. It was hanging on and on. I was traveling from Indianapolis to Terre Haute one day, and I got so tired, I decided to pull off at the little town of Cloverdale to take a brief rest. It was very cold. I parked the car in an empty parking lot and turned off the engine. I covered myself up with my coat and reclined my seat, just to try to get a short nap. The time was 12:02 p.m. But I did not go to sleep. After a few minutes, I began to have difficulty breathing. I fumbled in my purse for my inhaler, took a couple of inspirations from it, then lay back down – but I still could not breathe. I tried to sit up, but I was too weak. I struggled and struggled for air but simply could not breathe in or out. I started to pass out, and I became aware of my body, as if I were looking at it from the outside. But I wasn't seeing it with my eyes, I was just aware there was a body there, that was struggling for air, and it was getting weaker and weaker. Then the body became very quiet.
I knew the body was mine, but I didn't seem to care very much about it. Suddenly I found myself in a tunnel. The tunnel was made of some transparent kind of bricks or blocks. Light shone into the tunnel through the bricks. It was a beautiful golden light, and it felt warm and comforting. I wanted to get to the light. I stepped into the tunnel, and as I did, the tunnel began to slowly rotate. I told myself to be careful of my footing so I would not fall as the tunnel rotated. I walked a step or two before I saw a door at the end of the tunnel. It was a heavy, ornate, blue door. I had no sooner determined that I wanted to go up to the door, when suddenly, there I was. I tried to open it, but I couldn't. Then information just flowed into me. I was told that once the door was opened, I would be confronted with a choice. It was going to be a very difficult choice, so I should think carefully before making it.
I stood quietly before the door, pondering the information, when suddenly it opened. I looked out on a great expanse of darkness immediately below and in front of me. Beyond the darkness, in the distance, was an endless galaxy. A bright Light, brighter than all the stars in the galaxy, shone from the center. This Light felt as if it were pulling me toward it. Below me, in the expanse of darkness, I could hear human beings in distress. I could tell they were suffering. It sounded something like a busy emergency room, but the suffering was palpable. Somehow I knew if they would just turn to that Light, their suffering would end, but they were stubborn and would not turn to the Light.
As I looked out at this most beautiful sight of stars, planets, and the great radiant and loving Light, I saw tiny trails of blue, pink and green lights traveling across the expanse of darkness toward the Great Light. I wondered what they were, and instantly I had the information that they were prayers from people seeking the Light. They were very beautiful, and once they reached the Light, they were absorbed into it. Then larger trails of white light traveled from the Great Light outward. I knew that these were answers to prayers. I just wanted to watch the traveling of the lights, be warmed by the Light and enjoy the beautiful view. The Light turned a magnificent blue and rolled toward me like an ocean wave. It was not really close to me, but nevertheless I could see the image of Jesus within the blue wave. Love poured out upon me, like warm water. Jesus looked just like he did on the poster in my Sunday School class. I had the thought that if I had been a Buddhist, perhaps he would look like Buddha, and I was told, "That is right. God appears in a familiar form." I wanted to ask Jesus some questions, but suddenly I was told I had to make a choice. I was not told by a person, it was more like a chorus of voices that were not heard with my ears, but somehow communicated another way. They told me I could stay or I could go back. I was to think carefully before making a decision.
I thought about my three teen-aged children at home. They were all troubled. We had all been abandoned by my husband the year before and we were dealing with poverty and abandonment, in addition to all the stresses of puberty. I was very tempted to stay with the Light (which was now changing color and turning back into its original form), but I knew I could not abandon my children to a mean world without a mother. I did not even get a chance to tell the chorus that I had to go back to my children. As soon as I knew that I could not abandon them, I felt as if I had been dropped from 30 feet in the air onto a concrete slab. I slammed into my body with the most crushing pain imaginable. I could feel the fluttering of a preliminary heartbeat. I heard my body try to inhale. I felt the very cold fingers and cheeks. This body was extremely cold, and still it could not move. I heard it inhale sharply and groan. I listened for it to inhale again, and it did. I coaxed it, telling it when to breathe in and when to breathe out. I felt its heart gain a rhythm, and then I was completely within the body, struggling for a good breath.
I have never been so cold. The outdoor temperature was about 20 degrees, and my
body seemed nearly that cold. I looked at the clock. It was 12:40 p.m. It took
nearly an hour of heating the car and my body until I could move effectively. My
breathing was very tenuous. Eventually I became strong enough to drive home.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes. Some information that I got seemed to have no source except the Light. There were colors and sounds beyond Earthly experience.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes. While I was suffering from a bad case of bronchitis, I had an acute asthma attack and ceased breathing.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My highest level of consciousness and alertness came when the door opened and I became aware of the prayers traveling toward the Light, and became aware that the people in the darkness below me only had to look at the Light to end their suffering.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal.
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: My highest level of consciousness and alertness came when the door opened and I became aware of the prayers traveling toward the Light, and became aware that the people in the darkness below me only had to look at the Light to end their suffering.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes. I could see colors that are not visible on Earth. There are no descriptors for these colors. I have poor vision, but my vision there was very clear and bright, and my distance vision was vast. I could see for thousands, maybe even millions of miles. I saw stars that are only visible with telescopes, and I was them clearly.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes. With my ears I could hear sounds of the galaxy – stars exploding and snapping, solar winds, the crackle of the aurora borealis. I also heard, with my ears, the sounds of the suffering people. I could also hear voices that gave me information – but not with my ears.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first I was afraid, because I knew I could not breathe and I thought I might die. Once I did die, I felt curious about the tunnel and the door at the end of it. I felt hopeful that I could be with the light that came into the tunnel through the translucent bricks. I also felt warm, comforted, loved, and extremely curious about everything I saw. I felt calm, but did not feel peace, because I knew I would have to make a decision, and that gave me some anxiety. When I saw Jesus, it was as if every puzzle piece of my life fell into place, and I felt validated.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes. The tunnel was made out of translucent blocks or bricks, about the size of the typical concrete building block. The inside surface of the tunnel was not smooth, but was slightly undulating. The tunnel rotated sporadically, and slowly. A golden light shone through the bricks and lit the tunnel with warmth and comfort.
Did you see a light? Yes. I saw the light that came into the tunnel through the bricks. Once I got to the door, I saw that the tunnel light was emanating from the Great Light, which was at the center of the cosmic vista. That Light was gigantic, it dwarfed the other lights around it. It was white and very bright, but not painfully so. Wherever it traveled, it spread comfort, love, and goodness. To be with that Light was what I wanted.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes. I saw Jesus, dressed in homespun linen, at the center of the light which had turned to a blue wave. I knew he was Jesus because he looked exactly like he had on a poster in Sunday School when I was a kid. He had a beard, brown hair and brown eyes. To be within his gaze was unbelievably comforting.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Uncertain. I did not see or experience a review of past events. But the experience as a whole helped me focus more deeply on people, especially those in mourning, living in poverty, and those who are sick or in prison. I don't care about things and money, but I never did, even before this event.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain. I was given the knowledge that if I chose to stay on Earth, I would live long enough to see my children grow up and become independent. To a great extent, this has happened.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes. I saw the Universe in all its incredible glory. I also saw the darkness where unbelievers dwell.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes. I saw that there are no limits to the Universe, there were no boundaries except the one between the Universe and the darkness where the unbelievers were. There was no time. There was no way to keep track of time. Time does not exist there because it is an infinite place without a timeline.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes. I came to know that we are all important to God/the Light, even the plants and animals. We each hold an important place in the structure, or plan, of the Universe, and we each have something to do. I learned that the Great Light is more merciful and loving than anything or anyone we have experienced here on Earth. The plan is for each of us to come back to the Great Light – but some will not, because they refuse to accept the Light.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes, the ornate blue door at the end of the tunnel was a boundary. I knew if I went beyond the doorway, or just even put one foot through the door, I would not be able to return to my Earthly life and my children.
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain. I was given to know that if I went back, I would live long enough to raise my children and see them achieve independence.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes. Flowing water (such as out of the faucet) seemed to be musical. I could tell when someone was lying to me – and I still can. I could not wear a watch, because every watch either wouldn't keep time, or burned up.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes. It was four months before I shared the experience with a few friends. It was clear they did not believe me, and I was sorry I shared it with them. I also shared it with a few members of my family, but they were also skeptical.
The only person who believes me is my current husband.
I don't think anyone has been influenced directly by my experience except me. Others have been affected because I treat them differently than I did before my NDE. But they don't realize that 's what it's from.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes. I had read one of Dr. Moody's books a long time before my NDE. I really don't know if it affected my experience. Would I have seen the tunnel if I hadn't read his book? I don't know.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: From the very start, and in the days after it happened, I saw the experience as "definitely real." I viewed it as the most real thing that had ever happened to me. It did not carry the aura of something hazy or unnatural, or clothed in mystery. It was more real than my daily life here on this planet, because with the experience, I was given a CERTAIN, PROFOUND, and UNSHAKABLE KNOWLEDGE of God's system and how we each fit into it.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything about it is significant to me. But probably the most significant is the realization I had that everyone is as important as everyone else, and that each person plays an important part in the overall plan. Before my experience, I was very judgmental. My experience taught me that I have to let go of judgment and try to embrace each human being as the unique individual he/she is. It was also very meaningful to me to find out that we each experience the Great Light through our own culture and our own previous experiences. The Great Light can be Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, and nobody has "the only path" back to God.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Now I still see the experience as "definitely real." My view of its reality has not changed a bit from the days immediately after it. I know that being with the Great Light is a more important part of our entire existence than our time on Earth is. I know there is much more for us to learn and do there, and that our lives will continue, they will be full, and we will continue to learn and grow.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. I divorced the unsuitable husband I had at the time. I have sought out friends who are not superficial, but who are in touch with the important things in life. These things include a placing great importance on serving the poor, the suffering, and those without opportunity. I don't spend time with people who focus their lives on money, guilt, superficiality, social climbing, or who are depressed and don't want to change. There are too many people who do need help and who do want to change, so I focus on them.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes. I had stopped going to church about a year before my NDE. My NDE showed me there are many ways back to the Great Light. After a few years of philosophy and deep inquiry, I realized that my church was one of the ways back to the Great Light and I didn't have to look any farther. So I went back to church and started again practicing my religious path.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Shortly after my NDE, I became very unhappy. I could see that a great many people are shallow and not engaged in behavior that would take them back to the Great Light. I wondered how so many people could be so superficial. Then I realized they did not have the benefit of an NDE. I thought sharing mine with them would help them. I even thought perhaps that was part of my mission – to share my NDE. But people are so skeptical that no one believed me, and I was gravely disappointed. I still am.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes. I can't think of anything left to tell, except the isolation I feel at having experienced an NDE in a population where it is rare. There is no one to talk to about it who can relate, especially when no one believes me.
Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It might be interesting to see if there is any correlation between a given subject's religious background and their NDE experience. IS the symbolism the same? Are the religious figures the same? etc. I notice you have carefully excluded all questions about religion. (NDERF: We didn't exclude them, they are in the private part of the questionnaire.)