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James E's NDE

I don't recall when I crossed to the other side, but I believe it was right after my exploratory surgery.

I woke up on a ledge, a ledge no wider than 1 to 2 inches.. my feet felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff, with very little purchase to keep me up. I felt a wall behind me, and flattened myself to it as best I could. I was in a void, completely black, but yet.. it felt endless, I saw nothing, only black,  but yet I could feel there was a down, there was a up, a ledge, a wall.  I did not know who I was, or how I had gotten there, all I could think of was " DON'T FALL" I repeated this , over an over an over,  I shuffled along the wall, no idea where to go, I just didn't want to fall into the darkness. I was scared, but also calm. As I shuffled along the wall, I thought to myself.." how did I get here?"  " where did I come from?"  and as I progressed, still repeating "don't fall" the ledge beneath my feet began to widen. I felt a bit more secure,, safer as the ground seemed to offer me more stability, although I was still in eternal darkness, I  "felt" the ground under me was stretching out.  As soon as I felt I could walk normally, I felt safe, and I asked myself " where do I go now".  And all of a sudden, in the distance, I saw a star, a small speck of light, and began walking towards it. As I approached the light, it got bigger an bigger, and I began to walk faster an faster.   As the light got brighter, I noticed it began to shoot lines out, I saw them simultaneously coming to the light, an from the light, instantaneous it seemed.. and they were laying down all around me, very much like a "bit map" on a computer,, just lines an squares forming what seemed to be a landscape.   As I kept getting closer,, the land began to fill in,, I saw green grass,, rolling hills.. and just before I stepped into the light.. I saw from the corner of my eye,, the land seemed to stretch on forever, green hills and grass.   

Then, POOF, im in the light.  Its golden, its beautiful, the pain from the 3 years of my life gone, the laughter, the love, every emotion I had had in life, was gone.   I was one with everything that ever existed, or ever will be. I knew at that moment, the why of all whys.  I had no questions, I had need for no answers. Everything was known in that instant I entered the light.  Then it spoke to me, as if I was speaking to myself through the voices of everything that can, does, or will exist.   It simply said " you have to go back" and it was me telling myself I have to go back, but yet.. I am all, so who was talking to whom???   ha-ha.     So, I did not question, I already knew why I had to, why life existed, why everything happens.  After it told me I had to come back, that was it. I woke up in my bed, my mother laying next to me, 5 days had passed, the cancer that was eating me alive, that the doctors had said they could not cure, was completely healed.  They tested me, found I was completely void of cancer, and sent me home.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was dieing of cancer, the doctors after 3 years of treatments, had put me in a cushy room to die. I had fell into a coma after a second surgery in which they tried to physically remove tumors from inside me, the cancer has spread all throughout my body. The coma lasted 5 days. It was during this time that I had the experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The moment I stepped into the light. I then knew everything there ever was to know, every answer to every question that could ever be asked.  The light, in my personal opinion, is the source of all life, it is life before life is created. And the light itself, comes from somewhere else.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            The moment I stepped into the light. I then knew everything there ever was to know, every answer to every question that could ever be asked.  The light, in my personal opinion, is the source of all life, it is life before life is created. And the light itself, comes from somewhere else.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     In the darkness, and in the light.. my perception was 360 degrees. I saw all around me at all times. I did not have "binocular" vision.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I heard absolutely nothing, it was all telepathic.  But, without a body, there is no brain to be telepathic with, so it was more like,, without ears how can you hear?  without eyes, how can you see?

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I perceived that I had feet, and hands, and a body, though I never saw any of my limbs.. my mind told me they were there, an they were the only things keeping me from falling into the void,, by clinging to the wall.  I was invisible, the only body I had existed in "feeling" .. hard to explain.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      I walked to the light, I saw no tunnel, but the lines an the landscape that was laid around me seemed perfectly symmetrical. I was walking dead center,, right to the light, the light creating everything around me, filling in the darkness with green landscapes.

Did you see a light?           Yes     it was a star... that became a huge bright light just before I entered it.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I met everyone before they are born, after they die,  I met everything that we perceive as life, physical.  Before you are human, you are light, before a car becomes a car, it is light. Everything exists because of that light, everything is simply a wavelength of it.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     I was not "told" anything in the light, as much as, I just knew everything there was to know. I knew why there was bad in the world, I knew why there was good, I knew that every little thing that will ever occur here, is exactly planned out, in order to bring about something else. Everything we have ever done or known or will know, is perfectly planned out and perfectly in tune.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No            it wasn't until after my experience with the light, did I began to have dreams of flying, and meeting soul guides.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     As I walked down the wall in the void, it felt as if it lasted forever. Once I entered the light, it seemed to last just a few moments. Although the flood of knowledge and peace that came with it made it seem as if.. a moment was all you needed.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     It taught me that everyone, everything, is in its right place. Always will be, no matter how much we try to change, or try to destroy, or try to create, were simply doing exactly what was planned.  The meaning of life, as I felt it to be, is simply to live. Were here because we want to be here.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     The light in essence, is the boundary between life and whatever creates the light. I felt in the light that there was more, there is something beyond it, but I was not ready, not allowed to move on yet.   Releasing everything in life, every aspect besides the love of others and the enjoyment they can bring, is the only way to move beyond.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            I was not shown a vision, I was not shown anything, again, everything was instantly just "known".  Our future is dark, because of the lack of knowledge about self and where we came from.  The spiral down is already in progress, but is also planned.  Everything is perfectly as it should be. bad and good.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Im very empathic, I dream of occasional personal future events. I sense, feel, know things before they happen.  Simple, silly, mundane, but I know before they happen none the less.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I was 6 at the time of the experience. I didn't share with anyone until I was 18, I had began reading books about the light, enlightenment, astral travel. At that time, it was like a new awakening, I realized, I was not alone in my experience, an that it can be used and cultivated to help my soul evolve. I shared my experience with anyone who would listen, which wasn't many. The reactions of others were very mixed, some called me the anti Christ, some cried and felt a change in their consciousness. I still continue to tell people to this day whom I feel I should tell.  The universe lets me know.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I was too young at the time to know anything about what it was.  I had no knowledge of anything spiritual.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The entire experience is meaningful to me. Now that I am older, I wonder, could I have fell? where would I have gone had I fallen into the abyss?  If I die now, will I be able not to fall, now that I have attained the baggage of sins an earthly pleasures. Maybe they will be too much weight, an pull me over the edge.

The light, I cant begin to express how its made me who I am. I look at those around me, in pity, great sadness, wishing everyone knew about this.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            Now that im older, and have read a lot about enlighten, Jesus, Buddha, spirituality in general. I know for a fact that it happened, and that I experienced something that others have too.  Its a gift, an I will never look at it any other way. I only wish it could be shared with more people.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     People tend not to like to be around me unless they don't know me.  Im very nice, kind person. But, something inside me, knows people.  I cant explain it. I know when their lying, I know their hearts.  And because of this, many people chose not to be near me, their secrets are too valuable.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes            They were never developed. After this experience, when I got old enough to understand it and religion. I found out that religious beliefs are all the same generally, but man has added in their own views and wants, so the messages that these peaceful people had brought to us, are contorted and twisted.  Love all, that is the basis for all religion. The rest is filler for fear or profit gain.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     Psychedelic mushrooms, have proven to me to be a good way to begin the process of finding yourself. Im sure there are other plants that help to remember the light, where we came from, but I have had in my adult years experience with mushrooms that showed me the energy of all life in its true form,  but not the light itself. Self discovery takes practice, patience, and release, there is no crash course, unless maybe your hit by a bus ha-ha.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        This experience is something that I feel everyone should know about. I feel anyone can discover the light that is us all, we just have to know its there, and WANT to find it.  Buddha said to attain it, one must not want any aspect of this physical existence. At the end of my stay in the hospital, before my experience, I had given up. I gave up all want for life in any shape or form. I was finished, done with the pain.   And it wasn't long after, I was shown the light.   I believe, through detachment, an wanting to know about the light more than the air we breathe, can help others start their path to self enlightenment.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Uncertain      There are so many things to discuss. I am never sure if everything that can be told was told.   As simple as " I entered the light and knew everything" may seem,, I feel saying that doesn't encompass everything that it allowed me to know.

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   I think your questionnaire was very well produced. I cant think of any suggestions at this time. I only would like to apologize for any misspellings or bad grammar. ha-ha.