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Francine W Probable NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

 Prior to my suicide attempt, I was hospitalized 5 times for anxiety and depression.  This began about 2003 - 3 years prior to trying to hurt myself.  I was able to keep my massage practice going, more or less, but was in a dark place  all the time... Nothing was helping, , not therapy or the variety of drugs my psychiatrist had prescribed.  I could not bear what I was putting my teenaged son through and my then husband.  Even with all my training in body work and emotional clearing, even with lengthy sessions of emotional clearing.  I  could not find relief from this horrible, depression and anxiety.  The night of the suicide attempt was the darkest of my life.  I was just praying for relief and was terrified.  My NDE - actually came back to me in a Cranio-Sacral Session - probably 6 months later.  I was in a place and was at the center of a circle surrounded by my departed family and other loved ones.  Beneath me was a carpet of red rose petals, several inches deep.  I was eye to eye with a being of light.  I was kneeling and communicating with this one without words - telepathically.  The thing was I associated this being as the Lord of Love ( Christ) and at the same time it was me talking to myself.  What was said to me was " Good job, Francine,  But , now you have to go back and finish what you started.  ( The good job part was on living through all I had lived through)   

I don't remember waking up at the hospital.  The doctors were uncertain if I would be brain damaged or physically impaired.  Because of the seriousness of my attempt I had to undergo.  ECT - Electro Convulsive Therapy -- which continued for about a year and at least 30 -40 times.  After awakening, I was in the hospital for 6 more weeks.  The ECT treatments seemed to help reboot my brain and were very effective.

I was able to be weaned off all drugs.  I was given a clean bill of health from my psychiatrist about 2 years ago.  I have absolutely no symptoms of my illness, am on  no drugs and am on a positive ride.  I am so far out of that suicidal mind frame and as I have said, now know that it is part of a perfect plan of what I came to do - to clear that pattern and to help others recover.  My doctor was at his wits end with me.  And now I am better than ever.  My business is booming and my sensitivity is heightened 10 fold.  My emotional, mental and physical health is outstanding and I look far younger than my 55 years.

 At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I had ingested all my medications at the time, an entire bottle of Ibuprofen, a full bottle of wine and hooked the car exhaust into the car.   My neighbor's son visiting from  another city, pulled from the car in the middle of the night - happened to have paramedic training, administered CPR and called 911.

 Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     There is no way to completely convey in this reality what that was like.  I have also had subsequent experiences that are equally difficult to explain- shamanic type journeying where I felt I was pulling more of me across the dimensions into this realm for the energy for what I need to do here now.

 At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Looking eye to eye with this being of light-- the Christ and myself at the same time.

 How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I am very intuitive and perceptive and yet this telepathic communication was just known and complete as well as the attending emotion of unconditional love and joy.

 Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   My NDE was a short period of time - I think because I already had read so much about such things and already had studied other realms of being - quite a bit.  I was just shown enough and in that dimension enough to pull more back with me into this reality.  The smell of roses was intoxicating in that place.  The comfort of seeing my family and knowing they are with me always is huge.   The love of the being of light is with me but inexplicable.

 Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   The hearing was not outward but just an internal knowing of communication

 Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Joy, a sense of home, Relief, love.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   The light of the space I was in and the being in front of me all glowed with a gossamer soft flowing , all encompassing light.

 Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I described the being before me.  My family and loved ones were all around watching, but their faces were not completely clear.  I just knew it was them and they showed themselves so that I knew they were all fine.  This being of light did relate to past religious training of the who the Christ would be and yet again - the being and I were reflecting each other.

 Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   The Christ

 Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
 Simply a room -  Sometimes I think more detailed experiences are for those less versed in the realms of spirit.  It was a reminder to me of where I had come from.

 Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
 There was just the present - my heart was bursting

 Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
Everything that I needed to know then, which has greatly expanded in the last 6 years

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

 Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

 Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was witnessing my family who had all passed.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No   That what I had lived through gave me the strength and understanding for what is yet to unfold.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   That what I had lived through gave me the strength and understanding for what is yet to unfold.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   It is everything and eternal

 During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   For me this experience was a touching in  like a retreat - reassurance that all was ok.  And I needed to draw that energy back with me into this sphere,  it took going there and coming back.

 What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience  

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I remember very little about being in the hospital.  I do remember the night in the car before I passed out.

Following my  suicide and ECT treatments, I has pretty severe memory loss.  Now my memory is stellar -- except for those 6 weeks in the hospital ( the last time)

 Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I no longer have the chain of anxiety around my neck that I carried for 53 years.
My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Everything fits together perfectly and I would not change one detail of my life including the trauma.

 Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   I marvel at my present state of ecstasy -- given that I was in such a dark mental frame of mind.  Trying to kill yourself is as dark as it gets.  If I could have known then that I would be this great now, I would not have believed it to be possible

 Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   Energy pours through my hands and I know exactly where to be on a person's body for healing.  Some are uncomfortable after a session -  but if you are breaking open a rusty door after years of immobility there may be some creaking.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I marvel at my present state of ecstasy -- given that I was in such a dark mental frame of mind.  Trying to kill yourself is as dark as it gets.  If I could have known then that I would be this great now, I would not have believed it to be possible

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  People are a little freaked out by suicide.  Some hear my story and go wow - others can't hear the things I did, ECT is also scary.

 Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I had read at least 4 books about it.  I was being prepared I think.

 What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   It was a gift to me- a reassurance that all is well.

 What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   My first 50 years was about living through huge family trauma - loss of father when I was 12,  Ovarian cancer at 17, my mother leaving me when I was 16.  The next 50 years is about sharing with the world this great awareness of joy and love and expansion.  I am here to speak to others and share what I have learned

 Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I divorced my husband of 25 years and another man came into my life.  Dave suffered a TBI  Traumatic Brain Injury in 2005 from a car accident.  He was in a coma for 1 month and his family was told if he survived he would never walk and talk.  He did not have a specific NDE, but we both know we are together in this positive vortex now to tell our collective story  ( We are to be married this coming September.  Usually in a relationship one person has one of these stories.  We both know we should or could be dead and we are both better than  ever.  It is huge!

 Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   They have deepened.  God is not a person but rather an energy that we all embody.  I know I  am on earth as a connector to that realm and still firmly planted ( grounded) in this reality.  Life is eternal and expanding and awesome!:)

 At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Uncertain  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   It is profound.!

 Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   It explains it pretty well.  There is so much yet to be revealed.  I see myself speaking to large groups.  I love to be in front of a crowd of 2 or 2,000.  I have no inhibitions now.  I grow up with very low self esteem.  That has all shifted to high self esteem and a enormous sense of purpose.

 What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        Host Dave and I as guest speakers and let us each tell our stories