Fran E NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was late coming home from work.  It was 12:45 am and I was a block from my house.  I suddenly felt a severe pain in the right side of my jaw. I put my hand to my jaw and said out loud "What the &%$# is this??"  As soon as I said it the pain traveled to both of my arms, from the shoulders to the elbows. I Immediately felt a crushing pain in my chest.  I pulled the car over in front of the house.  I knew exactly what was happening as a nurse, but told myself if I can get into the house I'd be ok.  I ran up the stairs, but turned and ran back to the car.  I told myself to stay focused.  I was 3 miles from the hospital where I worked.  It never entered my mind to call an ambulance.  It was if I was being guided.  I knew that if I go to the ER alive, they would save me.  I passed only one car, parked in the lot and entered the ER.  I could barely talk.  The first EKG was at 1:06 am, and showed a massive heart attack.  The ER staff called a CPORT code, calling RNs and a cardiologist  that specialize in this type of heart attack.  Survival is said to be between 5-10%.  I knew many of the people that were there. I told them to contact my children and then we were just talking.  We all knew that I might not survive.  I asked them to tell my children how much I love them if I didn't survive.  They did not expect me to.  The doctor walked in the room, and the next thing I remember was feeling a massive shock to my body.   I had "coded" twice. 

I remember very clearly being in a totally dark place. I said out loud, "What is this dark place?".  It felt like I was just a thought with no body.  I was fascinated, not scared.  I saw a small "pin prick" of light in the upper right hand corner.  Then beautiful crystals of light began coming through the small opening.  The crystals were like a waterfall and just kept coming and coming.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I am unable to really describe it.  Then I felt a massive shock to my body.  I heard the doctor yelling at me.  I opened my eyes, and was disoriented for a brief period.  It wasn't until several hours later that I realized what had happened.  A nurse from the ER came to see me in ICU and told me I coded twice.  People seemed reluctant to tell me everything.  

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Massive heart attack.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    From the time the heart attack started at 12:45 am until I coded the first time around 1:45am.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            From the time the heart attack started at 12:45 am until I coded the first time around 1:45am.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Extreme calm and curiosity.  I was disappointed when it ended.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      It seemed like a room, but I don't I know.

Did you see a light?           Yes     There was extreme blackness and silence, and then at the very top on the left-hand side, I saw a "pinprick" of light.  Through that tiny opening, what looked like a waterfall of brilliant crystals began descending on me, one after the other, after the other.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I was suddenly aware of my body and felt like I was sitting up with my arms stretched out in front of me. I can't adequately describe the light.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I was unaware of space or time.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I lost all fear, but became more emotionally aware.  For instance, I cry easier now, over things that move me.  I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out why I survived.  I didn't find an answer, but I still think there is a reason.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     The boundary was the dark "room" I was in.  I was not afraid, and when the light came, I felt happiness and serene.  I thought the light would take me elsewhere.

I am disappointed that I was brought back so fast.

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I started to tell people within days.  I get the general sense that most do not believe me, or think I'm exaggerating.  Most of those in the medical field would tell me it was a lack of Oxygen, loss of blood supply that caused hallucinations, etc.  Another nurse who had came close to death during her battle with cancer understood, but she is the only one.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I've read about it.  I have had 2 vivid dreams that seem to suggest a past life.  There were times when I was young that I "knew" things that would upset my mother. As i grew older, it disappeared.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    It took me a few weeks to truly realize what had happened.  People slowly gave me information.  I knew something had happened, but I had to hear the words that my heart had stopped twice.  I remember sitting up and talking, and then I was gone.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I felt privileged to have it happen to me.  I am not fearful now.  I used to worry about everything and everyone, but not anymore.  We have no control over anything.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    My belief system has always been that there is something beyond us and this life.