EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I had a NDE when I was 11 (almost 12), after having an almost fatal
traffic accident. I was in a coma for 9 days. During probably (???) the first
two minutes of being unconscious I experienced the feeling of being outside of
my body, floating above myself... I could see and hear the ambulance coming from
the left side (the right side of my body)... after that I went into a long dark
tunnel where I could see a small light at the end (which constantly became
closer and bigger and brighter), where arms and hands came out of the wall,
trying to grab me and pulling me back... I floated towards a very clear bright
but not blinding light, but somehow never reached it totally... During that I
heard the most heavenly music played ever... I felt fear at first, but
afterwards I felt so calm and happy... and felt no pain at all... Somehow I sort
of received the message that I had to return, since this life was not fulfilled
yet... at that moment I floated back through the dark tunnel, hands pulling me
again, back to where I was before...
I then briefly woke up back in my body which was now placed on a
billiard table in a nearby pub... I cried out loud with pain and for help... I
felt really sorry that I had returned, since I longed for that calm painless
feeling I had had before in the tunnel... then I was unconscious again for a
while and only woke one more time on the operation table where doctors were
bracing my knee so my broken femur could be corrected... I then went into a
coma, but could always see people around me... I just couldn't react to their
signals... after nine days I woke up and saw my parents... my dad was so happy
that I had returned and said I could ask for anything as a welcome back gift...
I asked him for a guitar, since I wanted to produce that heavenly music
myself... I received a guitar, but never had the chance to learn how to play
it... my competition sport always intervened... on a later age I learnt how to
play the bass guitar and had my own band for 10 years... so the music always
remained very important in my life...
The evolution into my transformation is a story in itself... as is
the pain, the loneliness, the inner sadness, the not being able to hold on to a
steady relationship with someone who wasn't open to spiritual evolution, the
feeling misunderstood, the change in beliefs and lack of any belief in any
written religion... and... I do not fear death since that day... I only really
got acknowledgment about my NDE myself when I was 13, after a school friend told
me about what happened to him, which was almost similar to what I had
experienced. Since then I have made a long evolution in my transformation and
finally I know the reason why... also due to reading the book of Dr. Pim van
Lommel, a Dutch cardiologist who studied this phenomenon in a scientific way
(Eindeloos Bewustzijn... in English "Endless Consciousness)... a class-mate (of
who I still clearly remember the name) told us (the whole class) about the NDE
he experienced when he was 13. He almost got suffocated during a judo-match and
was unconscious. He had a cardiac arrest and during that time he experienced his
NDE, talking about his outer body experience, the tunnel, the not blinding
light, and his return. He told this in front of the classroom and that was when
I realized I had experienced the same when I had my traffic accident being 11,
almost 12. Before that I had always thought about this experience as if I had
had a very clear dream. At first I didn't really talk about this to anyone, not
even my parents or friends... What might they have though about me?? I think I
was about 19 when I told it to my mum for the first time...and then later to my
sister... I don't feel they really understood at that time... they might
understand better now I think... due to my new wife who has explained this more
to them, being a very spiritual human being herself.
Why did you decide to
join this network?
I
have, since my youth, had quite a problem full, searching and hectic life up to
now and have, most of the time, felt misunderstood... I have always been very
social hearted, always helped out others, but never myself... my self esteem has
been affected and I sometimes (in periods) turned to alcohol abuse to numb the
pain and hurt... Due to the help of my current wife, my psychologist, my family
and reading more about spiritual evolution, I have found the strength and power
inside myself again to not have to numb myself anymore in any way or form and
finally I am able to talk freely about my experience... I would like to play
music again, and I now also write poems and stories about my current life (and
maybe about my lives before this one) so I can come out using my creative side,
which I learnt to know during my NDE...
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes after traffic accident went into a coma
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
during the outer body experience and floating towards the light, hands and arms
coming out of the wall trying to pull me back.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
during the outer body experience and floating towards the light, hands and arms
coming out of the wall trying to pull me back.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes I seemed I could see everything at the same time and there was no time
or space limits
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes I heard the most wonderful music, and although I searched
for it, I couldn't find out where it came from... It was music I had never heard
before... The music also seemed to produce different colors...
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
First I felt afraid, but after a short while I felt very calm and
happy. This was the most intense and happiest feeling I have ever experienced
and never felt it again in this current earthly life.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes First the tunnel seemed darkish, but at the end of it appeared a
non-blinding white light... towards I seemed to be drawn to... Hands and arms of
people I couldn't see came out of the sides of the wall and tried to pull me
back, away from the light, yet I still floats further towards it.
Did
you see a light?
Yes At the end of the tunnel there was a bright white light, not blinding
though... at first it seemed to be only a spot, but then it became clearer and
brighter as I floated towards it. I never fully reached it though.
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes hands and arms reached out for me, out of the sides in the tunnel and
tried to pull me back, yet I floated further towards the light. I couldn't see
any bodies or faces though.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes There was no time or space limits, it was like I was everywhere at the
same time and I could see 360░ around me
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes Something inside my conscious told me to return since my life had
not really finished yet. I remember hearing the music and the first thing I
thought about when I woke up out of my coma was music. I wanted to learn to
play the guitar and produce music myself, but not in a traditional way.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I told my mother for the first time when I was 19 and a bit later I told
my younger sister. I don't think at that time they fully understood what I was
talking about. Since then I have talked more about it to more members of my
current family (parents, sister and brother in law, current wife, my son) and
some colleagues. My wife and son seem to fully understand and have a strong
belief in what I have told. Other people also seem to understand, but might not
always believe in this experience fully.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was probably real I first believed it was a very clear dream, as
to me even the accident seemed to have happened in a dream. Only when I woke
from my coma I realized the accident had happened in reality. During my coma I
could always see visiting or nursing people around me, but it seemed my signals
never reached them. I tried to talk but no sound came out. I tried to use signs
but my hands didn't move. I could hear what people told me, but when I tried to
reply no words came out...
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
At
first I thought it was a dream or sort of "vision" due to my accident. After a
classmate told me about his similar experience I recognized this and then
understood myself what had happened to me. Since then, even as a young boy,
being 13 at that time, I change my view on religion, the world, mankind, rules
and principles, social awareness, reincarnation, universal energy, possible
other life in our universe, etc. This evolution and transformation of my
personality is still ongoing, although I have had periods of putting this aside
and trying to numb the pain and hurt it causes inside my person.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Since I recognized my experience due
to someone else talking about a similar situation I have always believed that my
NDE has truly happened.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
When
younger I felt very much alone, lonely, a loner, misunderstood, and on the other
hand, I was always ready to help other people who experienced problems or felt
hurt and pain mentally. I never was able to help myself though and sometimes
decided to numb my own hurts with alcohol. All previous love-relationships
(except with my current wife) failed, because I never seemed to find the right
person who would understand my changed transformed personality.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I do
not allow any written down religion to tell me how to live or not live my life
or how to believe or not believe. I therefore consider myself an atheist since
I do not believe in theologies. Before my NDE I was very religious, raised in
the Catholic religion, believing in one true god and Jesus Christ. I still
believe that Jesus has lived, but to me now, he is just a prophet who taught
about the only true principle which all bonds us to this universe... Love...
what other people call god, I call the strength of human beings (yet I don't
want to be called a humanist) and I now believe that we are part of a total
Energy, as part of the universe.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Since my accident (after waking from my coma) I have never feared death
anymore. I also have the strong feeling that I have lived other lives before,
with special links to ancient Egypt and the Middle Ages. History in general,
but especially those periods, really intensely interest me and I also have
dreams about those periods. A change thing occurred when I was around 14 during
a history class. The teacher was talking about the tomb of Tutankhamen and
where it was found. I had a very clear view on how the entrance of the tomb
looked like at that moment, even without ever having seen any pictures of it.
When the teacher passed around a book which had the picture of the tomb's
entrance in it, the way I had viewed it in my "fantasy" was exactly the same as
in the picture in the book, although I had seen it from a different angle in my
"fantasy". This situation made me reflect on my other beliefs since my NDE and
since then I have felt that one of my former lives has been lived in ancient
Egypt (I was already convinced of this when I was only 14). I have only told
this episode to my current wife and an internet friend who lives in the U.S. and
whom I have never met face to face yet, but who is convinced that we have met in
former lives already and that we have a special bond, being part of the same
"soul group".
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes The questions give me the chance to express my experience in an open and
detailed way.
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
I am still learning about myself at this stage and would like to contribute in
any way to any positive contribution towards this phenomenon. I have answered
in English because it is the language I have used up to now to talk about my
NDE, and since this is part of an international English language website, nobody
else has to translate what I have written myself.
