Erika B Probable NDE
5/17/11 edited for clarity by Judy Shea
This is my experience: First, I remember I was running around outside trying to find my husband. When a wave a nausea hit me, I went inside to lie down on the couch upstairs. I must have passed out then. The next thing I recall is staring up at my husband as he was yelling and slapping me to try and wake me up. It was strange because I felt throughout this entire experience like I was in my body; and, even though my eyes were shut, I could still see him. In a way, I was not really there, but yet I could feel, hear, and see everything going on around me - mostly my husband screaming and slapping me, trying to wake me up. And I was screaming back at him to stop hitting me. I kept yelling, "I'M AWAKE, I'M FINE!!" I was yelling for what seemed like 10 minutes, when I realized that he couldn't hear me - that no one could hear me. I knew what was happening, but I was paralyzed and I couldn't do anything about it - couldn't move, couldn't speak, nothing. Things started to fade and I remember thinking "Wow, this is it. I'm leaving my daughter and my husband right now." With this thought, I started to panic and kick and scream - but, of course, my body wouldn't move. Then things started to lighten again and I remember waking up abruptly, throwing my arms around my husband and telling him how I had just had a horrible experience. I told him that I knew he had been trying to wake me up - everything I have just written here. He carried me downstairs and laid me down. As he walked away, I drifted off again, and the whole thing started over again. He was slapping me and yelling my name. I remember hearing him crying, saying that my skin was ice-cold and that I was barely breathing at all. Then he dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, I could hear them talking and see them opening my eyes and shining lights into them. But my body was 100% unresponsive. I remember hearing an EMT say that he didn't know what was going to happen to me.
During the entire experience at the hospital, I could feel every needle and tube
penetrating my body. I was freezing cold but didn't shiver. I was scared
s***less - screaming inside me every moment of this entire experience. I didn't
know if I was dreaming or if it was all real. I felt like in the movies when
people get a shot that paralyzes them. They know everything that's going on, but
just can't move a muscle or say a word. Frantic. Helpless. I have read stories
from other people in situations like this; and I don't understand why I didn't
feel peaceful like they did, why I was so scared. Maybe I was just stuck in
between, or something. I remember feeling a heating blanket being thrown on me
and thinking that it was the most amazing feeling in the world. The room got
lighter and I became more and more calm and ok with what was happening, until
finally I tried to move my hand, and it actually moved. The nurse came running
over and I was aware of them all watching me, as I started moving it more.
Eventually, I opened my eyes, and immediately started crying hysterically until
my husband got there.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes I felt unable to express the emotions that I had been feeling, and also to really explain certain experiences I had.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes I had severe alcohol poisoning. Slow/irregular breathing, hypothermia, unconsciousness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It seems to me that after I realized I was completely unconscious and unable to do anything is when I was the most alert and aware of everything going on - and also the most scared.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: It seems to me that after I realized I was completely unconscious and unable to do anything is when I was the most alert and aware of everything going on - and also the most scared.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes My vision trailed, it almost seemed - like it was brighter and darker at the same time. It was almost blotchy and kind of gritty-looking.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain It kept changing throughout my entire experience. Sometimes it was quiet, sometimes really loud, sometimes muffled.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure and utter fear, with a slight feeling of calm right before I came to.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No
Did you see a light? Uncertain I don't think it was the light that people talk about. My vision went white as I came to.
Did you meet or see any other beings? No
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes The entire experience with my husband slapping me and yelling at me. The move from downstairs to the ambulance, the entire hospital experience. I can tell you everything they did to me. And I relived my experience with my doctor, and he verified it; but he also basically told me I was crazy. He even wrote in my paperwork that I had had a "mental disturbance" while unconscious.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain I just felt like the entire experience took hours and hours and hours, and I guess it was only 2 hours.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Uncertain I just remember, and still feel to this moment, that I'm meant to be here, to be with my husband and be his wife. I just remember, and still feel, that my husband's whole world came crashing down. I could sense what he was thinking in his head - that all he wanted was for me to be okay, and that we'd never take advantage of each other again.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? No I've always had a slight psychic ability.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes. When I woke the first time, I shared it immediately with my husband, and when I woke up the second time, I shared it with the nurse and doctor - and my husband more in depth on our way home. Brock (my husband) seems to believe me - and I think he does, because he used to do a lot of acid and he believes that things like that can happen. The nurse seemed to believe me, saying that she's heard of these kinds of experiences before. But the doctor just looked at me like I was absolutely insane. I'm actually surprised he didn't put me in a psych ward.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes. I guess I've always heard of people seeing the light, meeting their family, seeing the future and their whole life flashing in front of them - but what I experienced wasn't a single bit like that.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was probably real. There were certain aspects of the entire experience that I didn't think were real, like the experience that I recall having in the ambulance. I recall them treating me very poorly and making fun of my situation. Although I did give a very accurate account of who was in the ambulance helping me, I never once opened my eyes. So maybe that part actually didn't happen. I just sure hope it didn't.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
What was very meaningful to me was the moment when I could hear in Brock's head that he truly
realized how much I meant to him. In that alone, and how our relationship has
gotten better since the incident, I truly believe that this is why it happened.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was probably real I feel like people think I'm crazy when I bring it up. I feel like my husband is slightly sick of hearing me try and figure it out with him. And at times I feel that I AM crazy. But I don't know how something that felt so real when it was happening, and which was verified by so many people who were around at the time, could be not real.