Denise M NDE 5037
In December 1999, I underwent a #4 surgery for Scoliosis. When given the anesthesia, my brain was still awake, but the rest of my body was paralyzed. I could hear the surgeon and nurses talking asking if everyone was ready to start the surgery and I tried to raise my arm to tell them I was still awake, but couldn't move. I then started to feel them cutting me open and realized they couldn't tell I wasn't completely under and I panicked.
All of a sudden my heart started beating at a very fast pace and the next thing I heard overhead was "code blue, code blue" with a strange alarm going off. Right after that, I had the sensation that I was floating down a path or tunnel, I wasn't in body form anymore, and saw a very bright light, like fluorescent. I knew I was dead, but yet I could still think because I thought to myself, "so, this is what it's like to be dead." It wasn't a bad thing. I had an immense feeling of love and warmth - like being engulfed in a secure, warm blanket. It was the most intense feeling I have ever felt. I didn't see anyone as others have described, but I felt like I had been down this path before and it was familiar and I didn't want to leave it.
The next thing I remember was waking up in the ICU and I was blown up like a balloon. My hands, face, arms, everything were all swollen. I never had that happen under any other surgery I've had in the past. Afterwards, my short term memory was not right for a long time and upon waking from a sleep, I would have an anxiety attack -I would be in the middle of one when I woke up, as if I had been "jolted" back awake. This went on for many years. I attribute it to being jolted with paddles to bring me back to life, but the surgeon never confirmed it. When I asked him if I died, he would not give me a straight answer, but did tell me that they realized I was awake because I "jerked" the operating table. He danced around the subject and wouldn't see me as a patient anymore. There were other complications with that surgery too which I have had to be on morphine ever since as a result for pain.
I KNOW I died, based on
the experience I had and if this is what death is like, it's not scary - it was
quite the opposite. The intense feeling of love and warmth that I felt was
indescribable and made me realize that death is not to be feared and I do
believe there is something after death. You might not be in your physical form
anymore, but you do go on to another form of matter based on what happened to
me. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe the feeling I had was from a
higher being's presence, letting me know everything was going to be alright.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No I do get emotional sometimes when I talk about it to people, but it's not something hard to communicate.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was floating down the path or tunnel.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: When I was floating down the path or tunnel.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes More vivid.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain I don't remember hearing anything after I started having the floating sensation - it was more of a visual and emotional type feeling.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Immense love, security and warmth.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes Felt like a path or tunnel of some sort.
Did you see a light? Yes Light was very bright, like fluorescent and was very big and close and then got further and further away, like I was going away from it.
Did you meet or see any other beings? No
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes The tunnel or path I believe was a different level of some sort. Not sure what.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain There was no sense of time, just being there.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I knew I was dead, but I could still think.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? No Following = no, but before = yes. I have had several preminitions that have come true - mainly concerning loved ones, or myself.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Right away. I still tell people if we get onto the subject. Most reactions are of fascination and interest. Everyone wants to know if there's life after death and if we go on.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real Still to this day I feel it is definitely real what I experienced.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the feeling of immense love and security and warmth... it was incredible.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real See #40.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Yes, people should not fear death as I stated above and that I truly believe we go on in another form - more of being matter, not in the physical body anymore.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I can't say much more about it then what I already have.
Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Maybe ask questions if you are prone to preminitions, or have had experiences with the supernatural / paranormal. Depending on how "open minded" people are, is your mind more open to accept and experience something like this if it DID happen to you. People who are skeptics or don't believe in things that they actually can't SEE, would they have the same experience or beliefs as opposed to people who have had other "worldly", unexplained experiences... that would be interesting to see. In other words, would "closed minded" people feel the same way as someone who is open to accept that anything is possible. If that makes sense.