Deborah H's NDE

It was the morning after my 31st birthday.  I woke up and went downstairs to have some breakfast and watch the news.  After I eat, I began to feel sick, like nauseous.  I was trying to decide whether I should call into work or not.  In a short period of time though, I felt worse, so I called in sick.  By then I was feeling very tired and like I would need to throw up.  I went to the bathroom but was quickly becoming even more tired.  I decided that even though I might be sick, I would go to my room to lay down first.  By the time I climbed the stairs, I had no energy left.  I laid down on the bed and felt like I was going to pass out.  My son was about 2 at the time and he would normally wake up in an hour.  I thought of calling my husband to ask him to come home and help me.  I was soon struggling to maintain consciousness so I tried to call 911 with the phone at my bedside table.  I couldn't do it.  I passed out, struggled, came to, worried about my son, then passed out again.  I figured it was useless to fight it if I was dying.  I looked over at the clock and it was about 20 after eight in the morning. 

I floated quickly out of my body to the top of the room.  I had expectations of seeing a tunnel of light, but none appeared.  I tried to look down at my body but only saw swirling dark clouds below me, nothing else.  After a few moments when nothing else occured, I thought, cool this must be an out-of-the-body experience.  I wanted to explore and prove that this was real.  I thought of leaving myself a note but I didn't have a body to write with.  Then I thought that I would go next door where my neighbor was probably sleeping and try to wake him up and ask him later if he experienced anything. 

I floated towards the door and was about to exit the bedroom when, a thought struck me, "yeah, let's manipulate him".  But this was not my thought!  I don't think that way.  When I disowned that thought it materialized outside myself.  I thought, a demon!  I heard laughing and I was mad. I demanded to see the demon and 3 ghostly black skulls appeared facing me.  I had so much anger, I wanted to kill them.  I fell into a rage and lunged forward to try to get a hold of them, I could taste their blood, I was so mad.  As I lunged, I propelled myself forward with a burst of speed.  Instead of being as I thought I was (free floating) I discovered that I was tethered to some point below and as I lunged I moved in a circle chasing the demons like a mad dog on a leash.  This made them laugh even more! and I was angered more.  Finally, I began to pull myself together and I realized that because I didn't have a body and they didn't either that my rage was useless as far as trying to kill them.  I tried to figure out what to do to go back to my body but the demons tried to distract my with more laughing.  It was all I could do to control myself.  They then remarked how powerful I was.  After all they had to obey when I ordered them to show themselves. 

I figured this was a lie but I also felt flattered.  They said prove it to yourself, give us another command.  More lies I figured.  They then told me that in this state of consciousness that I had telekinetic powers and that I should try moving the television off the dresser then I would have proof of my experience and power.  I was tempted but I thought this was wrong.  I couldn't help it, I concentrated on moving a small piece of paper on the dresser and it flew up in the air.  I instantly felt as thought I committed a sin and felt ashamed and I could not look to see where the small little paper went.  The room was too messy to be able to find it if I didn't watch it.  The demons laughed and I began to feel like I was in trouble.  It's hard to describe the insight that was beginning to form in my mind and the demons kept trying to distract me from thinking.  I felt that if I actually defeated the demons I would return to my body so full of myself, I would somehow be insane and a danger to my family.  I didn't understand how but felt instinctively that it was true so I decided I would not return to my body.  Then I figured that I would just die.  Because the demons were continually laughing and trying to tempt me and distract me, I couldn't think very clearly about things and so somehow I did immediately consider my soul to be in danger.   

Before anything else could happed I experienced the Holy Spirit rush me away somewhere that was just empty.  It was the most wonderful feeling.  There was so much love and knowledge of the entire universe permeating my body from within and without like a warm embrace.  It had a stern message for me concerning the "chain of command".  There was God, all of the angles, good and bad but somehow equal and somehow all loved by God.  Then there was Jesus and I had a vision of His throne and his knees and somehow we were placed somewhere below his feet.  I accepted all this knowledge happily without question.  Then I was told that by the power of Jesus I could leave the demons and return to my body.   

Suddenly, I was facing the demons again and in my mind I repeated the information I was just given.  Then I had to say it to the demons, "by the power and authority of Jesus let me return to my body" 

The demons gave me a total look of surprise and then I was back in my body.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Had insights pass through my mind but was not entirely able to understand them.  When I experienced the Holy Spirit, there was so much knowledge of the universe present but I was not able to take it all in or retain it.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I chose not to return to my body because I felt I would return either possessed or so mentally ill that I would be a danger to my family, so to protect them, I decided not to return.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was more alert than usual in a way.  I was aware that I could think rationally and at times I felt in such a rage that I could not think rationally.  I also seemed to be more in tough with my instincts as well, when I could think rationally.  I seemed to sense or having insight or knowing that I was serious jeapordy but I was distracted emotionally and distracted by my motives and desires

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   It was so different that a dream because everything I did and every move I made somehow seemed slowed down and so deliberate.  I was aware of every inch I traveled.  And there was coflict from within me and from the demons.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes    

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Rage, fear, shame and love

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No            Even though as an adult I considered myself an atheist, I was raised in the Catholic Church and my parents made me attend 12 years of Sunday School. 

I did not experience heaven or hell but rather in my room near the ceiling when I encountered the demons.  Then the Holy Spirit took me a way to an empty place, but the place made no difference because it was His presence that made location of no matter.   

It's very strange how God loves all his angles whether their on his side or not.  I'm not sure I know or could recognize demons from angles if they didn't want me to know which were which

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     demons, Holy Spirit

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes    

I intended to provide myself some evidence but when I moved the small piece of paper, I felt so ashamed that I had given in to temptation that I could not watch to see where it landed.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?              I could see

I experienced some type of telepathy to communicate with the demons. 

With the Holy Spirit, I was just filled with knowledge and love but not with words.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     It seemed that the experience lasted 20-30 minutes but by the clock only 3-5 minutes had passed.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I knew I could not deny the existence of God the Father Son and Holy Spirit.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     I was tethered somehow to a point below me in the room but I could not see any rope.

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain      My body could not take in what I witnessed.  I wondered how I would tell my experience to my husband at dinner time, but dinner came and went and I didn't tell him anything.  It was like I forgot for several months and then remembered later.  Then when the memory reappeared I experienced a tremendous fear of God.  Then I experienced visions that I could not understand

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     I chose not to return.  I was sure of my decision.  It was the will of the Holy Spirit that I return.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain      I saw visions of symbols and maybe memories like reliving my past but I could not understand the meaning of these things but I thought that God must have some purpose for me.  Instead I later found out that I was bipolar and some of the visions could be hallucinations caused by the illness but the OBE was real because of the profound change of faith it gave me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes    

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I thought that I might have a calling to go to seminary and become a pastor or missionary.  My husband disagreed and we divorced.  I did not finish the school I needed to enter seminary.  I struggled with the loss of my husband and kids, even though I see them a lot.  I became depressed, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  I lived a lot of my life in my head with my interests in philosophy and religion, now its time to focus on more practical manners and focus on my family.  Icarus' wings have been clipped, time to live more like a human being.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I'm learning to be more down to earth, not just think about ethics and love but to live.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Some thought it was cool.

Pastors at church didn't say much but I felt their disapproval.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I never felt better

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was experiencing the Holy Spirit.