Deanna C's NDE
I went into hospital for Emergency Surgery. I had very bad cramps & pain in my abdomen. The Doctor – my GP, was unsure if it was my Appendix or something to do with my reproductive system. I was in much pain for about 12 hours, I was unable to sleep or stand & walk upright so in the end so my GP sent me to the Hospital. Doctors there were still unsure what the problem was but agreed that I must undergo surgery ASAP. This was my first time in hospital as a patient & I was laughing the whole time prior to the OP, I think it was just nerves. My Mother was there, so was was my ex-Fiancé. So I went in for surgery – they decided on laparoscopic (key-hole) surgery, normal drill of being put under anesthesia and all went black…
…. next thing I am aware of is someone's voice saying loudly “ Cardiac arrest imminent!” (I don’t use this word -imminent, it’s just not a word common in my vocabulary).
…the next thing I am aware of is…. I am not in my body anymore. I can't explain this any clearer than this…. I was just “hovering” in and out of rooms in the hospital (I think). In one room I was hovering over someone having an operation, directly above the bed, I saw a scalpel pierce the skin, saw flesh being cut & blood oozing out. I was not scared, I was not sad, I was not happy (all of this VERY unusual for me as normally I am a very moody person & am shocked at the sight of blood – put it this way, when they first put the drip on me in hospital & I got up to pee – walking with that trolley with the drip on it – sat down on the toilet & the blood somehow went back up into the tube & I almost fainted upon seeing this – had to be brought back to the bed in a wheelchair by a nurse – my Fiance had a fit “What happened to you Babe?, so did I – but I had another fit of laughter!) Anyway …..as I said I was not affected by what I saw – I was very “accepting” & strangely “calm”. At first I seemed to be somewhere near the ceiling, then all of a sudden I was inches away from this (what seemed to be) an operation.
Next thing I was aware of was I was suddenly in another “room”, hovering above another bed where a woman was giving birth, I could hear her screaming/pushing/heaving, I was directly above (inches away) from the babies head crowning & then being born, it was almost as if I could actually “feel” the baby draw it’s 1st breath. I remember thinking to myself (very calmly) “Oh…. there is such a fine line between birth-life & dying-death” I can’t say I was emotional about this, I just accepted what was happening to me & what I was seeing without question….. AGAIN – unlike me.
I don’t know time-frames or for how long I was hovering in & out of rooms but after this I seemed to “travel” fast, a long distance, it was dark – perhaps a tunnel. At the end of the tunnel was light, a light so bright, and before me were silhouettes of people/beings/souls (it seemed there were heads and shoulders but I could not see faces or anything below) – Oh I can't tell you how many, they fanned out endlessly in front of me, there was one at the front (at the head/tip/front) and behind this one - zillions more in a sort of never-ending triangle/pyramid into infinity with the light shining bright behind them. Again I was not scared, nor happy, nor sad. I felt at peace & accepting of what was happening to me. I questioned nothing.
My mother fell pregnant with me to a German man living in Australia. She was only a few months pregnant when my Father was killed by a car in a hit & run accident whilst he was crossing the street – this happened before my Mothers eyes. I never did meet my Father. The reason I tell you this is because at the head of the triangle of silhouettes was my Father. I did not see a face, he did not speak to me, but immediately upon being there I just KNEW it was him. I stayed here for a time with these “souls” in the light, it was like I belonged, it was like we were ALL ONE. At peace. Then it was like I was taken to one side (not led or anything, not told or moved – it just happened). I was still there in this place but at one side with this “soul of my Father” and it was not like he or for that matter “they” spoke to me but there were still words (that does not make sense I know) but it was like telepathy or something – the words were “Deanna, it is not your time yet, you must go back”
This I just accepted….
…..The next thing I remember is hearing the doctors telling jokes in the OP theatre & them laughing and me coming around – still with my eyes closed, then next being wheeled out & the nurse lighly touching my face saying “Deanna, wake up, wake up” I woke up & opened my eyes and the first thing I asked him was “Can I still have children?” He laughed and said “Of course, you had an ovarian cyst removed, it was quite large, but everything else in there checked out just fine & you can have children don’t worry”.
With that I was wheeled out to the recovery room & lined up in a row with others who had just had their ops. This is where & when I started to FREAK OUT in a major way. Everything I had just experienced came back to me in flashes everytime I closed my eyes, I was screaming inside. I felt paralysed, I was trying to get the watch nurses’ attention, when I did she coldly told me “ You are to wait here under observation for one hour” I said “ But you don’t understand what has just happened to me, I need to talk to you (I grabbed her arm), or talk to someone, please I am afraid”. She said “Look I don’t have the time for this, there are others here I must attend to. You will have to wait here one hour!” She peeled my fingers off her arm & walked away. I was near hysterical, I could not keep my eyes open, but every time they closed I saw flashes of blood, scalpels cutting flesh, I came to the realisation I had just died…. I was jumping out of my skin in fear. Everyime this happened - I tensed, I jumped, I was in pain because of the operation & I thought I would “die” again. After about 10 minutes I think I composed myself (I had no choice) & concentrated on keeping my eyes open, there was a clock directly infront of me & I swear I watched the second hand go around 50 times then when my time was up I screamed at the nurse to have me taken back to my bed. Two male nurses came to wheel me back to my bed, along with my Fiance who later told me that I screamed abuse at the watch nurse as they were wheeling me out. Apparently I called here every foul name under the sun & the male nurses where hysterically laughing at me during my “performance”.
It did not end there though, I got back to my bed. I was put in a shared ward (I had Private Health Cover which entitled me to a Private Room – but as luck would have it – none were available that night!) I was freaking out still, my Fiance was there I was trying to explain to him what had happened in dribs & drabs – but it was all coming out wrong, mixed-up. He was saying “ Deanna, it’s the drugs OK” but I was saying “NO NO it’s not, something happened” I would not let him leave me, I kept him there by my side from 11pm until 2am when the duty nurse finally kicked him out. I never slept, I stayed awake until the sun came up 4 hours later because every time I closed my eyes I had flashbacks & truly thought I would die if I slept. I finally fell asleep exhausted sometime after daylight & had “dreams/nightmares/visions of the whole thing over & over & over again! I have never dreamed of it since though.
After I returned home when I was recovering from the operation I spoke to 2 people about my experience. My Fiance – who poo pooed it! & a close girlfriend of mine who worked in the Med. Industry. She said “ D, it happens all the time, the stories I could tell you about how many people die on the Operating table & are revived – usually due to too much anaesthetic ….etc etc”. It took a long time for me to talk to my Mother about it for obvious reasons.
I have since bought quite a few books on the subject & my experience is fairly typical of NDE’s. I have told a few people about it over the years (it’s been about 5 years since it happened) but this is the first time I have documented it.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? Uncertain
I was undergoing emergency surgery
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes
It is hard to explain out of body experience & a feeling of total acceptance
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes
I was having surgery
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? I felt awake
Was the experience dream like in any way? no
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
I did not feel I had a body as such
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? no
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes
Describe: it felt like a tunnel - i felt I traveled a distance
Did you see a light? Yes
it was a very bright light
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes
yes, only one, but I felt "as one" with others who were there. The only thing that was communicated as such to me was that I had to "go back"
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes
where I was was beautiful & peacefull
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain
I do not know how long I was "away"
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
I felt that in the end we shall all become "as one" entity
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain
Yes I felt that one I reached this place I was at I had crossed the boundary into the after life
Did you become aware of future events? No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Yes
I was told I must go back as it was not my time yet. I had no emotion, nor choice in this matter, I was completely accepting of this with no emotion
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Yes, I feel there is a life here after now
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? very little
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain
I am uncertain about this - I do not really think I live my lfe any differently as a direct result of my having had an NDE
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Most were accepting of my story
What emotions did you experience following your experience? fear at first then acceptance & I felt special to have experienced this
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best was that I did experience this, the worst was the fear immediately after I awoke from surgery
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? no
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I think the questions asked and information I have provided have covered my NDE experience