EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I was not aware of when I became aware during the three days in the coma.
I do not remember the impact of the vehicle. I became aware at some point of
being in a place of great expansion and light and being complete and very
peaceful. I think I was moving toward more light, though, it could be that I was
in the full light already. I was not aware of any body, nor any beings around
me. But I do remember looking down on my worried and grieving parents. I also
remember being given a choice as to whether I would return to the living and it
was in seeing my parents in so much distress and having a vision of my mother's
great anguish in the future, if I did not return, that I chose to return. I
remember quite distinctly knowing that it was for them that I returned and not
because life on earth was so much fuller and more important than where I was. I
felt at home and complete where I was and unlimited. One could say blissful. It
was home and I was choosing to go back to a much less developed state of being.
I remember awaking
from the coma and immediately sensing the limitation of the physical form I was
in and being aware that I had the mind of a child, even though the memory of the
prior place was clearly in my head. The first thing I saw was an iris and the
fragrance of the flower helped me see the value of being in the sensual body
again.
Though, it took me many months to recover and learn to walk again and
balance (the accident had effected the motor cortex) I "lived" in that other
realm from time to time probably until puberty. It would come on suddenly that I
was in Eternity (with not time, no objects, no thought, as we know it) and then
be gone and I'd be back in my normal processing. It can happen now more
deliberately through my meditation practice.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes Its on another level of reality that is not commensurate with the normal
range of cognition: i.e. it is not the realm of subject/object, cause/effect,
time. It is an very clear experience which was boundless and timeless and I can
recall it today, fifty years later, as clearly as when I came out of the coma.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I was hit by an automobile, thrown thirty six feet, and was in a coma
for three days. The doctors had given up hope of my awakening for the coma or
recovering any mental functioning.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
Since the experience was timeless and did not have variations within it. I do
not know if I was in that constant state for the full three days I was in the
coma or if it was only a brief period of time. I do know that as soon as I made
the decision to come back, I was back in my body and aware of the hospital room
and the passage of time. Interestingly, almost immediately I yanked off the
large scab on forehead and it was completely healed underneath - something the
doctors were quite amazed with since they thought it would take a long time to
heal and leave a scar of some kind. There is none.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
Since the experience was timeless and did not have variations within it. I do
not know if I was in that constant state for the full three days I was in the
coma or if it was only a brief period of time. I do know that as soon as I made
the decision to come back, I was back in my body and aware of the hospital room
and the passage of time. Interestingly, almost immediately I yanked off the
large scab on forehead and it was completely healed underneath - something the
doctors were quite amazed with since they thought it would take a long time to
heal and leave a scar of some kind. There is none.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Uncertain As I say, there was nothing to see (except being aware of my
parent's grief, but I can't really say I "saw" them - it was more that I sensed
them). It was like I knew things from the inside rather than as perceived
external objects.
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Uncertain Again, there may have been vibrations or sounds
around me, but it wasn't exactly hearing.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
pure bliss, which is not, for me, a ecstatic sort of emotion, but is
a feeling of being at unmoved center of being. (These are all words I have
picked up in readings later in life - but those authors captured aspects of my
experience). The reason I can't really define the emotions is that, like the
senses they require change to be perceived and this was a changeless state of
being. But I was aware that I was me - it was not to the point of total
obliteration of any sense of personal identity. Amazingly for a little boy it
was not the least bit jarring or uncomfortable, because it felt very familiar.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Uncertain
Did
you see a light?
Yes
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes Timeless, Space less
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes yes, again very qualified here in that I felt like I was "in"
everything and that knowledge was intrinsic rather than empirical. I think
philosophers call this intellectual intuition, e.g. Plotinus. But, as a five
year old, I didn't need to know anything and in that state of union there is no
operations or causal reality which requite knowledge.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No I need to say, its not like I "understood" anything - it was like, in
that state such literal knowledge is unimportant, but I did "know" everything (I
guess more like the Biblical usage - i.e. intimate relations with).
Did
you become aware of future events?
Yes Perhaps, only in becoming aware of the impact my death
would have on my parents.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes I continue to be very available to mystical states. Its not very
difficult for me to spend hours witnessing empty consciousness, since it was
familiar to me at that early age. I have to discipline myself not to spend too
much time there and to value the physical world around me.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Its strange that I did not share this with my parents or if I did they
dismissed it as a hallucination brought on my the trauma. My parents were
concerned when I shared the subsequent moments when everything would initially
speed up and then release into this contentless consciousness and I was put
through a few neurological batteries and nothing was discovered as abnormal.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real That state was more real than any I have ever
experienced and I truly understood the phrase that here "we see through a glass
darkly." I even knew this as a five year old.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
I
look on the experience as a great gift and a pivotal moment in my development.
The upside is a strong connection to a spiritual part of myself and an overview
of the place of this life in the bigger picture. The downside is that I was a
rather detached child, dreamy and pretty awkward with learning and functioning
because it all didn't seem to matter very much. This I would like to find out if
other childhood NDE experienced as well and struggled with in their development.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real The only difference now is that I have
the benefit of mystical texts which record other people having had similar
experiences.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
Yes,
One effect was that I felt both closer and more distant from my parents. I had
more compassion for them but also felt that I was not really from them.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
was so young that I wasn't thinking about religious beliefs. As a result I
become progressively interested in religions and mysticism, much to the chagrin
of my parents and extended family.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes It is not difficult to go back to that realm for me in my meditation. I
also found that the use of mind-altering substances could bring me to similar
states but there was also a lot of garbage to get through.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I
would like to know about research done on the after effects of NDE on Children
and their subsequent development.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes yes, with the proviso that some of these categories are irrelevant to
the experience.
Are
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
I would like that broader questions be raised concerning the findings going
beyond just substantiation but into what these finding suggest in terms of the
human cognitive capacities. For example, if people are "seeing" themselves or
others when the brain functions are not functioning, what is seeing?, with what
is sight possible? What is sight? What is this light so many people see? Lots of
psychological and philosophical questions need to be taken on scientifically.
Thank you for doing this.
