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Crystal B's NDE


I remember a few days ago dropping off a friend and driving down the road and then everything started getting dimmer and I felt weak as if I was falling asleep and no matter what I did I couldn't wake, like passing out, but the weird thing was I didn't crash where I remember blanking out. . I crashed about 5 miles after that. Anyhow, I blanked out..

I felt calm at first because I really did not know what was going on. Then I saw this road.. I was going down the same road passing the same sign over and over and over again. I had to think.. did I turn? did I go straight? what is this? .. I felt confused. After about a minute of recurring the same sign the same road then it became dark. a speck in the middle of sight and I didn't know what this was, then objects moving that I didn't understand. I didn't know who or what I was. I didn't know what I was staring at. I thought I was a computer or a robot and what I was staring at was some sort of thing. I cannot describe. But it was irritating and I felt afraid that I would be stuck like that forever. I could talk and I cried and then I remember knowing the purpose of life and why we are all here, as if someone was speaking to me. I felt disgusted and ashamed, but I don't remember what that purpose was. For some reason life doesn't make sense when your dead and death doesn't make sense when your alive but a lady softly spoke that "it's okay, everyone goes through this" but that did not calm me down. I was so terrified that I would be stuck like that.

Then, I remember seeing people in the past like my father. When I was face to face to my father I felt afraid "did you steal this?" he said to me. "no!" I replied, and then he asked it again. about 10 times with the same movement as if it was rewound and replayed. When I told the truth I got to go on to the next person I lied to. "did you do this to this?" "no!" then when I had lied again I ended up all the way back to my father. I had to tell the truth no matter how much crap I thought I would be in. I wanted it to end and I wanted it to fast forward so I chose to tell the truth throughout all of the people I have lied to.

I was out for 6 hours or so. but on the other side it felt like I was there for a week going through these things, learning. I smoked a little pot that day before driving. Worst mistake of my life. I smoked pot before and drove, but nothing like this happened. I guess I really pissed god off, and he showed me a lesson. I remember being under a light and people where around me. I tried to ask them what was going on but they were repeating themselves. everyone was repeating themselves and I felt stuck in time for awhile, like that wouldn't ever go away and each time I was afraid it would be stuck like that for eternity. I felt confused and terrified and disgusted throughout this whole process. I did wake up once in the vehicle I crashed and blood was all over the steering wheel and I felt my face and blood was dripping off my hands. No you don't ever want to go through that. The window was shattered, you don't know where you are or who you are. You don't know what people are. You see images and they slowly appear as if you were a hard drive plugged back in. As if those things that we see everyday, were actually our imagination. I spit out glass and teeth, my fiancÚ sitting next to me without a scratch asking me if I was ok, repeating himself then he walked away and I was scared of being alone and ditched to die again so I tried to crawl after him. I told him I loved him a million times. but then he leaves because he didn't know what road we were on that we crashed on, but I didn't know that I forgot we crashed. I didn't know who I was or who he was but he was a living thing and I could talk to him so I didn't want him to leave so I yelled for him and screamed and cried shaking terrified.

Then I passed out again and drifted in and out while the ambulance came to take me in I felt so much pain. I kept hearing glass shatter and my ears ringing and then I heard something say that I needed to speak up more because I was cold. something told me that if I do the right thing, I get things in return that make me feel good instead of miserable. I was strapped when I drifted out again my blood pressure was only 8.. and then they zapped me and I guess somewhere along there I bit a huge hole in my tongue that im feeling really bad right now. I have glass and chemical burns from the airbag on my face and a beaten up head. I remember seeing god last night and he was trying to make me feel better and said that I could invent a breakfast station suited with all the breakfast goods and you plug it in and you wake up everything's cooked for you. enticing me because I couldn't eat. See god has a humor too! But I learned to love him, and he is our father. Without his teachings we wouldn't be anything. . without him we wouldn't be anything. that is what he taught me.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Because the feelings are unnatural. That everything did not make sense. Like.. I was stuck in time and everything was going to fast and memory plays a huge part even though it happened only two days ago.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I rolled my car over 5 times and landed on a rock.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Let me think here. It's all kind of blurred out.. but I guess I was more conscience and alert when I heard bobby repeat things over and over again. then when the last second of my life repeated itself repetitive times I was pretty alert to freak out.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Less consciousness and alertness than normal

            Let me think here. It's all kind of blurred out.. but I guess I was more conscience and alert when I heard bobby repeat things over and over again. then when the last second of my life repeated itself repetitive times I was pretty alert to freak out.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     transparent objects, and everything dissolved as if it wasn't real to begin with.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I kept hearing things unable to make out what they were, then I heard the car rev up over and over again when the last second of my life was replayed over and over.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I didn't know what I was, who I was, I didn't remember anything about my life or anything in it. I didn't know what I was looking at as if they were just odd shapes but I didn't even know was shapes were, just complete confusion and fear.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain     

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain      I couldn't see what people looked like they were just faint figures I couldn't see faces.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     I learned to not do stupid things that get you in trouble and screw up your life. I learned that lying is bad, and if you do it you have to confront them after you die. Maybe you don't have to but I probably do. Before I just was careless and I thought I didn't fear death, now I do. Cause somewhere along my experience he showed me times where I said "oh I don't care if I die" or "oh I want to die" and driving at fast speeds and he showed me that dying isn't a pleasant experience when you are me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     I remember a lady that came later that drew blood from me and took care of me. I remember seeing also a lady who rode with me in the ambulance all the way to the hospital and stuck by my side. I was forced to tell her that she is a very wonderful person (im usually too shy to give compliments) and I was talking to her about god and how god gives people a chance to make people shine and give them compliments and I told her without her, I would be so lost and confused that she comforted me and she's great at her job. I don't remember what she looked like.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Uncertain      I saw different places but they weren't beautiful or out of the ordinary. I just couldn't understand a lot of things.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Like the last second of my life was repeating itself. the sound the smell the image replaying over and over again, me being stiff unable to move or control anything.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I knew that the emt had three daughters and that her husband had passed away. I saw through the eyes of my best friend and his last second before death also.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     I felt like I could move myself fast then I could move myself slow. sounds very confusing but it's something I have never felt before that happened. and it was scary as if my life had been planned out and it was just extremely boring. like life had lost it's purpose, and the suspense of not knowing was gone. as if not knowing what life is, keeps us interested in it.. if that makes sense.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            I know who I am going to marry in the future, I know when my mom and dad are going to die I know when I am going to have my child. I saw things that I don't understand yet and people I don't know.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     I can sense the dead, and whenever I come near where someone died in a crash I feel the same way I did. It's very horrible and hopefully I get used to it.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it a few days ago after I got out of the hospital. I also remember telling people about it when I was drifting in and out, people I didn't know. But nobody seemed to understand. I felt as if I was crazy and not making sense. It's not like anyone's going to take someone seriously that got in a car wreck involving marijuana. Believe me, I dropped that fast.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I believe that there's a reason why it goes away after time and why you won't remember, but im writing this while it's fresh because most of it's going away.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    im just confused and I hope there is a god because if not I don't want to sit repeating the last second of my life over and over again I want to be something after death, but what I experienced was what I believed in.. so maybe I should change my belief.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was probably real    It was everything I believed in. I was clinically dead and everything I went through was completely insane and it was like a father teaching a daughter a life lesson with tools he should have had.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I treat people with more respect. I tell them what they need to know. I don't lie to people.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes     I believe in the good lord now.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     marijuana. which I know didn't help, but I tell you what it helped with the pain. and being high and dead doesn't make sense either... I guess you might have to ask Tupac.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I just wish I understood all of this. I don't want to just be some robot and everything that is around me is just apart of my imagination.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     I tried to add a few jokes to the comments because it helps me cope. It really was an unpleasant experience that I hope nobody has to go through ever.

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   others might remember occurrences playing over and over again