Christina M's NDE

WAS ON A GOLF COURSE ONE NIGHT, HAD FALLEN, BANGED HEAD, AND THE PEOPLE I WAS WITH (ONLY MET THAT EVENING) THOUGHT I WAS DEAD.. 

THEY SPENT A WHILE (BUT NOT VERY LONG TIME, MAYBE 5 OR 10 MINUTES) SHAKING ME AND TRYING TO WAKE ME UP, AS I WAS RETURNING I REALLY FELT THEIR PANIC THAT I MIGHT BE DEAD. I REALIZED THEY WERE GOOD PEOPLE REALLY, DOING THEIR BEST - NO BAD INTENTIONS AT ALL.   

  MOST VIVID FEELING IS LOOKING DOWN ON MYSELF - ON THE GROUND, WITH THESE 3 PEOPLE SHAKING ME AND FEELING REAL PITY FOR ALL OF THEM 'WAY DOWN THERE' .. IT FELT LIKE A SICK JOKE THAT I WAS BEING PLUMMETED RIGHT BACK INTO MY BODY EVEN THOUGH I REALLY, REALLY DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK 'DOWN THERE'... 

FELT LIKE NO SOONER HAD I THOUGHT 'OH POOR THEM' ... THEN I WAS BEING THROWN RIGHT BACK DOWN BEFORE I HAD TIME TO PROTEST !  

AS I GOT CLOSE TO MY BODY - STILL FAR-OFF THOUGH I COULD HEAR THE GIRL SAYING ' YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL, DON'T YOU?' 'SHE SAID SHE HAD A DAUGHTER'...  AND SOMEHOW I KNEW THAT THIS WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I HAD TO BE BACK, I HAD HEARD THOSE WORDS SOMEHOW.

I STILL FELT GUTTED, DEVASTATED TO BE BACK - AND WEPT - REALLY WEPT INCONSOLABLY FOR AGES - EVENTUALLY THEY CHEERED ME UP AND BROUGHT ME HOME ETC...

THEY WONDERED WHY I WAS SO SAD, IT WAS A MIRACLE I WAS ALIVE - THEY DEFINITELY THOUGHT I WAS A GONER -    I SOBBED 'MY MUM DIED'...  I COULDN'T MAKE SENSE REALLY... MAINLY I WAS CRYING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I'D NEVER GET TO SEE HEAVEN, AFTER LIFE... I HAD BECOME SUCH A LOST SOUL AFTER MUM DIED (IN A FIRE, I FOUND HER WHEN 16) ... AND RESORTED TO BINGE DRINKING ETC. TO ESCAPE UNBEARABLE REALITY..   I JUST NEVER FELT 'GOOD ENOUGH'...  AND IN THIS EXPERIENCE I WAS UTTERLY, COMPLETELY LOVED AND IN UNION WITH EVERYTHING, THERE WAS NO SEPARATENESS...   I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT, NOT EVEN SINCE.  

I WISH I COULD SAY I BECAME A BETTER PERSON, I DID GIVE UP DRINKING BUT NEVER BECAME A SAINT...  I Have had too many paranormal incidents to go into.. but I have had many, many dreams where I speak to my deceased grandmothers and mother at times (though she's often silent).  A few years ago, when depressed, my granny came to me in a dream and told me she had intervened so I could live... now she was annoyed I wasn't really living fully, I woke up screaming 'but I do want to live'... and I do, mainly. but I also think this earthly plane is very hard at times and full of suffering - just to get through it at times is a minor miracle !    I still don't know my life purpose, but know my 4 children are in there somewhere, and so is my poetry - also came back after the NDE.

a blessing really. am relieved there's something more than this, which I knew anyway but now am sure of.  

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     THE SOUND -

SO BEAUTIFUL... LIKE MUSIC, BUT NOT MUSIC EITHER... ALL INTER-CONNECTED LIKE AN AMAZING ORCHESTRA ... BUT MORE THAN THAT GOING HIGHER AND HIGHER UPWARDS, ASCENDING - THE ENORMOUS COLOR AND VIBRATION AND FUSION OF SENSES, ALL ONE

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    during floating / ascending experience hearing sound/ music/ colors..  started off with sound of helicopter like very loud chopper at my ear. Also just before landing again.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            during floating / ascending experience hearing sound/ music/ colors.. 

started off with sound of helicopter like very loud chopper at my ear.  also just before landing again.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes    

colors and brightness were amazing..first noticed sky was all red - almost like a war zone   and then was up there - no longer on the earth but travelling through amazing colors, sound, everything

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            Yes    

the sound was the first thing I noticed

like a symphony

but more beautiful   not sad or anything  just incredible

all going on at the same time... all the different vibrations of the universe - yet all blended together - wonderful - music is closest thing we have on earth

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            felt.... free

loved

at one

released

of course, recognition - this is what I really am - felt at peace for first time since mother dying, maybe even before - indescribable relief and blissful non-pain

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain     

don't remember passage from being in body, hearing loud noise (like helicopter) .... then whoosh -

was up there in a different sphere..

don't remember going from one to the other ...  and passage back very sudden as well

Did you see a light?           Yes     not just one, many -

all beautiful,

like rainbows but better

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain     

felt in presence of unity, but no individual beings,  was a blissful unity...

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      yes, I learned we only dance on the earth temporarily - and to try and do my best - in my case being a mother is top on my list, and seeing the good in all souls or the eternal soul in everyone

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes    

felt like I was travelling through levels...

higher and higher

even more beautiful and intricate sound-wise,

more and more was being unfolded...

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes    

was completely outside this realm like Narnia and the real world (c.s.lewis)

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain            aware of universal love and interconnectedness  

no direct special life purpose for me, other than to stay alive and not be so self-destructive

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      remember somehow looking back,

then I saw what was happening 'back on earth'

realized I should not have looked back... 

could not believe I was being sent back - what an outrage !

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain
            had many, many coincidences since...

did 'sense' baby girl in future... which went o to have

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes    

really frequent on daily basis.

e.g. turn on radio talking about c.s. Lewis, the come across him 3 times that day..

angel imprint on window of bedroom and kitchen when son was born - even skeptical husband said 'that's extraordinary'..   countless others, part of life now

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     very rarely  

people don't know what to say - feel better off not telling them, husband thinks I'm very airy fairy as it is...

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    did it happen?  

so hard to explain

put it away

but know it happened

100%

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            yes, the sound - before and during.  more sensitive to 'noise' since can't bare blaring music in shops etc.. have to leave  

yes, feeling loved and part of the whole, which never felt really belonged in real life

yes, realizing we are here for a reason

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    it's so different to anything else even dreaming, or being drunk or anything -

it was real -

I don't have to convince anyone, I know.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Uncertain     

well in general maybe yes,

am more considerate and grateful

still have problems with intimacy at times

but do not hate anyone anymore, and forgive everyone,  yes I was full of hate and resentful to ex-husband etc. before then

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes    

am more convinced that Jesus really lived, and had a message 

became fascinated with world religions/ traditions/ spirituality ...  but always was I suppose.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        just believe, have faith -

it doesn't matter if you don't believe me -  

we are all here to love each other - not just our own loved-ones... every living soul we meet in a day.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     though hard to verbalize really is next to impossible

without sounding so cliché 

felt so overwhelmingly positive

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?