Chantal L NDE
On May 15 1991, I felt extreme pain in my abdomen. Friends took me to the emergency. The doctor there examined me briefly. He said they would keep me under observation for the night. He game me no medication or anything. He did not even take my pressure. The nurse wheeled me into my room where I was alone. She put the buzzer next to my pillow saying to press it if I needed anything. I was in a great deal of pain. I felt like I was burning up with a fever or something. Breathing was increasingly difficult. I reached a point where I became aware that death was near. So, trying to muster all my strength, I was able to press the button but no one came.
All of a sudden, I felt as if a mountain had collapsed on me. I could no longer
move. I had the sensation of sinking
into the mattress. I watched as my lungs deflated. I could not take a breath.
I realized then that I was dying.
I watched as I expired my last breath.
Amazingly enough, I was not afraid. Then I felt a vibration in my body.
That is when I started feeling that my consciousness was leaving my feet,
then my legs then my trunk. I
wondered what would happen when it got to my head.
My consciousness left my body by the crown of my head.
I found myself floating, like in a cloud.
There were no buildings, no structures, just light and love. I was so
wonderfully well! All of my pain and
worries just melted away. I was being bathed in love.
All of a sudden, I noticed movement to my left.
It was a light coming towards me. As I looked at it, I noticed that this
light was a being, a Being of Light!
As this Being of Light was approaching me I started experiencing all kinds of
images in my mind. At first I
thought he/she was communicating with me telepathically but then I realized, all
these images were memories, my memories.
I was remembering who I really am.
(It was like an amnesiac who regains his/her memory).
I had total recall of who I really was.
I was this old, old being, who had always existed.
I was wise and loving. I
remember knowing everything. Not so
much from an intellectual point of view.
I knew what it was like to be a flower, to be an animal, to be an insect.
All the knowledge of the universe was inside my being. I no longer felt
as a separate individual. I felt as
if I was part of a collective consciousness.
I sense billions and billons of beings and we were all One.
The feeling of oneness on the other side is amazing!
I remember distinctively how we created the solar system.
I was part of this collective consciousness who had "willed" it into
being. I remembered we had done so for the purpose of experiencing mortality.
It was so important to my soul to come to earth and experience mortality.
I then remembered asking to be born.
The moment this memory came to mind, I also remembered having agreed to
accomplish a mission. I came to
earth to accomplish a mission. All
of a sudden, I realized that I had not accomplished this mission.
My joy and serenity turned into anguish... I had failed to accomplish
this mission. I never felt so sad.
Sad is not the word, I felt anguish, I felt like a failure.
Nothing else I had accomplished while in this life mattered to me, I felt
like a failure. The Being of Light, sensing my anguish, asked me:
"Would you like to stay or would you like to go back?"
I immediately replied (with thought as our communication was by thought).
"I must go back, I have not accomplished my mission".
In that moment, I sensed I was going backward into a tunnel and I found
myself back in my body.
The first thing I remember is hearing the words: "she is coming back, she is
coming back" uttered by a nurse. I
opened my eyes and could see 3 nurses and the doctor that I had seen at the
emergency. I was hooked to machines.
The doctor came to me, put his hand on my forehead and said:
"don't worry, we are not going to lose you again.
You are a very sick girl but we will not lose you again.
We will transfer your to Lethbridge (bigger hospital in another city
nearby) and you will remain in intensive care until we find out what is going
on". "I won't die , don't worry" I
They put me in an ambulance and sent me to Lethbridge.
The poor EMS(in the ambulance) was afraid I would die on her.
She kept checking my vitals.
I assured her that I was not going to die.
It is during the ambulance trip that I realized that I could no longer
remember my mission. I had
forgotten! I came back from a
heavenly state to accomplish this mission and I forgot what it is shortly after
re-entering my body!
Needless to say, this was a life transforming event and I thought it was over but I was wrong. It seems that once the door between both worlds is open, it never closes again. I started experiencing all kinds of paranormal activities after this. It started with my sense of sight, it would change and I could see the matrix of all life. Then it moved to my sense of hearing, I started hearing a voice. I was instructed to build a Temple and I was given the vision on how to build it. In this Temple, I get visions and I am developing very unusual abilities. I won't go any further here. Suffice to say that my life has been transformed by the NDE experience and by the abilities I have developed as a result of it.At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes I had been taken to the hospital with severe abdominal pain. The emergency doctor examined me and decided to keep me overnight. Within one hour in the hospital I went in shock. I was able to press the alarm button next to me but then I could no longer move. Turns out a cyst (the size of a grapefruit) inside my pelvic area had ruptured. It caused me to go in shock. The medical team was able to bring me back to life.
Thank you so much for your e-mail. My apologies for not replying sooner.
The "other side" (for a lack of a better word) is nothing like I expected. Even though I had always believed in an after life, I had not imagined it this way. The feeling of oneness is outstanding! I was totally surprised when I ceased to be Chantal and became the one I really am. I remembered everything about the life of Chantal, but that was like a role I had played in a play. I was this very old soul who had always existed, older than time itself. The other surprising thing was the feeling of being part of a "collective consciousness". I sensed that everything alive and that had ever lived was part of this consciousness. It retained the experiences of each being in its collective memory. This is why I knew everything, the knowledge of this collective became mine. It is a different kind of knowledge though. It is not intellectual but experiential. Furthermore, it was not limited just to human experiences, I "knew" what it felt like to be a flower and to be a stone. I realized that life and consciousness are synonymous and that inanimate objects also have consciousness. They are made of atoms and particles just like humans are.
The memory of participating in the creation of the solar system was definitely the most unexpected! It sounds like a sacrilege just to mention it. And yet, the collective consciousness that I was part of, willed it into being. I am sorry, I cannot tell you exactly how we did it. I remember that it was our collective will and focus that brought it into being. Matter simply formed at our command (one minute it was energy and the next it was matter). It formed in the shape that we willed it to be. I remember how important equilibrium was. Every particle had to be in perfect balance and harmony with the rest. All of the planets had to be in equilibrium with the sun and each other. There was great joy among us, for this creation had a purpose of the highest importance. It would allow us to experience mortality.
I cannot tell you if every solar system in the universe was created the same way. I cannot comment about the big bang theory. All I know is that this solar system was created by a collective consciousness, and this for a purpose of great importance. Each being of this collective consciousness asked to come to this earth to experience life knowing that each experience would benefit the collective. We each agreed to accomplish a certain mission.
I often wondered, after my NDE, what percentage of people do accomplish their mission. Are those who have not yet accomplished it, always given the choice to come back? I experienced such anguish when I realized I had failed to accomplish my mission. I did not hesitate one second to come back when given the choice to do so. I knew I was going back to a sick body and an unhappy life and yet, that did not matter to my soul, I had to come back to accomplish my mission.
I forgot what my mission is upon re-entering my body. It is like a veil of forgetfulness that closes again. It drove me crazy. How could I forget my mission when I remembered so clearly other aspects of my NDE such as participating in the creation of the solar system? I sought the help of a hypnotherapist to help me remember. He believed in NDE and had attempted to regress other NDErs without any success. He told me he doubted it would work. He asked me this question: "Have you ever considered that you are not supposed to remember?" I must say that that thought had never crossed my mind. It made sense. There had to be a reason for me to forget. Instead of acquiring an intellectual knowing of my mission maybe I was to attempt to gain an experiential knowing. To feel it in my guts. Money being very tight then I decided not to undergo hypnosis.
I could talk for hours about the journey I have been on since my NDE , about the paranormal things that started occurring afterwards but this will suffice. I am sorry I cannot tell you more about the creation of the solar system. Maybe under hypnosis, I would remember more.
I never paid much attention to these abilities until now. Actually, at the beginning, I tried to repress them. But I feel very strongly now that I need to make contact with others like me .
Thank you for taking our accounts seriously and for providing us with an opportunity to share our accounts with each other and with others. This may very well be part of your mission.
Thank you so very, very much for answering my questions! I know that you are a very busy man and you taking the time to answer my questions means a lot to me. Thank you! If you don't mind I have just a few more questions (By the way, thank you for letting me know that you wrote a book compiling your findings. I can hardly wait to read it) I did figure you must have had some type of experience. Yes, you can quote anything I have said on your website. If it can help someone else please use it.
I am so glad to know that forgetting one's mission is normal/common with NDErs. You have no idea what this piece of info means to me! At first I kept thinking that if only I would try harder I would remember, then work/life got busy and I seemed to lose the connection with the other side. (Right after my NDE I was in a state of high vibration. I felt like my feet were not touching the ground, I slowly started going back to my normal state of consciousness after about one month) I don't remember the specifics about the creation of the solar system, just that it was "created" and willed into being by us, the collective consciousness.
My NDE occurred 21 years ago and events are not as fresh in my memory as they used to be. One important detail I remembered this morning was that the Being of Light was showing me, on something that looks like a giant screen, its creation and as I watched, I remembered having participated in it. Not sure why I had forgotten this important detail. It was definitely willed into being for the purpose of allowing us to experience life.
Did it start as a cloud? That I cannot say for sure. I am trying to remember. I clearly see the Being of Light to the left of me and the screen in front a bit to the right of me with the pictures of the solar system. As I watched, I remembered having participated in its creation. Actually, I stopped thinking in term of "I" and started thinking in term of "we", we the collective consciousness. We had willed it into being. There was a plan in place. We would take turn coming down into mortality and experience life in all of its aspects and bring this experience back to the collective. I really got the sense that there was no good or bad experiences, just experiences. Yet, we each agreed to accomplishing a certain mission. This mission was going to serve my soul and the collective enormously.
When trying to explain this collective I usually use the following analogy: Let's pretend you are the water in a glass of water. You are contained in a glass. Then someone pours you, the water in the glass, into the ocean. You still exist, every particle of you still exists but now you are part of an ocean where there are billions and billions like you. You are now "one" with the ocean. You are all One. On the other side you are a soul, a very old one, magnificent, wise, powerful soul and you are One with a collective. The sense of unity is amazing. There is no sense of separation like there is on this side.
Tell me.. have others mentioned this collective consciousness to you? We probably use different terms to explain it.
You asked about the flower and the stone. While in that state of total recall, I could tap into (no, that is not the right term), I became "one" with all knowledge and all experiences contained it the memory of the collective consciousness. I became aware that it contained non-human experiences as well, such as experiences experienced by flowers and stones. I did not spend any time investigating their consciousness, I just know that they were contained in the memory of this collective consciousness as well.
As extraordinary as my NDE was, it is really the events that took place after it that I find more significant and that have impacted my life the most. The NDE was just the beginning. The first paranormal event that occurred to me happened about 2 weeks after the NDE. I had been staying with friends after I got out of the hospital. The day they brought me home, I got out of their car and looked at the big tree in front of my house. All of a sudden my vision changed and I could see the matrix of life. This is very hard to explain. I am not sure what I saw was its aura as much as its soul. It was vibrant with life. More importantly, I saw that I was connected to this tree by a cord coming out of my solar plexus, a vibrational cord. When I looked at the grass, this cord connected me to it as well. Then I looked at the gravel and this cord connected me to it too. When I say connected to it, I mean vibrationally. Everything I paid attention to, this cord would connect me to it. I understood then that we are all connected at the energy level. Then my vision came back to normal.
Once home, I mentioned to a few friends about the NDE and the change in my vision. One of the girls working here for the summer was doing her master's degree in anthropology. She asked if she could interview me. I agreed and told her my story of the NDE and the change in my vision. She told me that a shaman had mentioned this vibrational cord coming out of his solar plexus linking him to all life whenever he is in a trance. I was so happy to hear that I had not hallucinated! Later I came across books written by the healer Barbara Ann Brannan. She clearly shows the vibrational cord in her books. She sees it too. So yes, we are all connected at the vibrational level. It therefore makes sense to me that the experiences of all that has consciousness is contained in this collective consciousness.
I feel that I have taken enough of your time for now. Thank you so much for being willing to answer my questions. You have no idea what this means to me!
I will end with one of my favorite quotes, one by Edgar Cayce: "Though you may gain the whole world, how little ye must think of thyself if ye lose the purpose for which the soul entered this particular sojourn" On the other side, I did not have to account for the good or bad things I had done. I was loved & cherished no matter what. I had to account to my own soul for the fact that I had failed to accomplish my mission, I had lost the purpose for which my soul had entered this particular sojourn. And this brought me closer to hell than anything else I had ever experienced in my life. Words cannot express the anguish I felt for having failed to accomplish the only thing that really mattered. I am so, so grateful for having been given another chance to accomplish it.