Camryn L NDE
I woke up at noon on a Thursday and was extremely tired even though I had slept at least 14 hours. I tried to get up and do some things, but I was so exhausted I just couldn't stay awake. I recall going back to bed at about 2 pm and setting my alarm for 3 pm, thinking I would just sleep an hour and then I would feel better. I was bleeding so much, but I didn't realize that this was menopause and that it's normal for a woman to bleed for a week to 10 days, but I had been bleeding more and more and more for about three months! In retrospect it was really stupid of me not to realize that a human being can't live on 2-3 pints of blood. I kept thinking that bleeding was normal even though I was bleeding about 10 times more than normal - it was almost like hemorrhaging.
Anyway, the moment my head hit the pillow and I shut my eyes I was suddenly in this black void and a sparkling happy light came zooming at me extremely fast. It was kind of like seeing a star shining bright and within less than a second it was enormous and right in front of me. It was sparkling and happy like those sparkers kids have at 4th of July...extremely energetic and bright. It didn't speak to me but it transmitted to me a "want to come with me?" message. I am very adventurous so I said yes and together we travelled at the speed of light into a galaxy of bright lights and I knew that all of them were souls or spirits and that each one was a point of light that was another being. I stayed there awhile until I understood how there were so many galaxies and stars and that they all were alive like entities and that I was probably another point of light. I had no awareness of having a body, I just felt like I could move anywhere I wanted as if I were a light particle or something.
I then went to various places...one of the first ones was to a landscape like Mongolia, it was spectacularly beautiful. The clouds were extremely bright and moving the way they do in time lapse photography and the light kept changing the way the mountains looked and the tall grass in the valley. I lingered there a while and knew that there really were such things as Sacred Places. I started to understand that everything that ever was and everything that ever will be were all here at once and that all the knowledge in the universe was right there for us to access if we just believed and reached for it. I knew that Einstein and Mohammed and Handy and Mozart and all the great artists and scientists had tapped into this knowledge either in their sleep or as a conduit from God or the great spirit or the universal energy. I was bathed in bliss and harmony, I felt more love than I could even imagine and every thing emanated positive energy, affection, every single positive word in the dictionary could not capture the feeling of eternal bliss that I felt.
I then thought about music and I was instantly in an enormous concert hall and I was like an air particle in this beautiful theater and my (dead) Uncle Sydney was playing the piano with Arthur Rubenstein and Leonard Bernstein and my uncle looked up at me and smiled and winked. he looked SO happy and content and I was really happy to see him playing because that is what he always loved to do the most and he looked so vibrant, not like he did when he died.
I then thought about otters and suddenly I was swimming with otters, but I wasn't wet or cold. I remember thinking I should be cold and wet, but I wasn't. The otters were very playful with me and kind of helped me swim with them. They kept looking back at me to see if I was keeping up with them. They were so lithe and beautiful and so joyous in their element. They came up into an old beaver den and we all laid in there awhile. It's interesting because after this NDE I found out that otters use old beaver dens. I hadn't known that before. I never felt that my body was with me, I felt more like I was just a little bright light like a tiny star, but we all communicated telepathically.
All of the sudden I was transported to the Columbia River Gorge and I was at a nice party and I had some juice that I spilled, but nothing got wet and there was no mess. I remember thinking that I don't need anything here, there is nothing cold/wet/bad/uncomfortable - EVERYTHING was eternal bliss. I met a lot of people and we just stood and chatted, but it didn't seem like pointless banter, it was more like a joyous celebration that everyone was just happy to be there. The gorge was green and lush. I went back out into the galaxies and knew that I only had to think about anything and I would be there. I felt a sense of profound comfort and a sense of peace and belonging, none of which I have ever felt. I knew that I was 'on the other side' and I didn't ever want to go back.
I was dead or whatever it was for 4 hours because my friend called my phone and it rang very loud next to me and I came back and I was very angry that I was back and wished that this call had not come through and broken up my experience. The next day I was admitted into ER for 3-4 days and had a lot of tests and medications and IV, etc. I kept thinking about what happened, but didn't want to tell people because when I did they thought I was crazy. As soon as I left the hospital I went to a bookstore and got books on NDE and out of body experiences and what they described was so similar to what happened to me, I now have NO fear of death, in fact I can hardly wait!
Before this happened to me I thought that death was really the end and that
there was no afterlife/anything. Now I KNOW that there is and it really doesn't
matter to me if other people don't believe me because I know that I was on the
other side and it doesn't matter if nobody believes me, I know what I
experienced and it was NOT a dream. I do want my sister to know that she won't
die because she is afraid of it, she doesn't believe me still. I think cats and
many other animals see the entities on the other side and most people just
can't. I am so happy that I will see all my beloved human and animal friends
again. I have had a hard time adjusting to being back here with war and death
and suffering. Even though this isn't the real world, it's what I have to
contend with now and since I can not commit suicide, I'm stuck here until I die
and go home. I don't know when I will ever be happy back here because I felt so
happy on the other side that nothing here can compare to that. I also heard the
piano music that my uncle was playing on the other side. I had never heard it
before, but when I listened to a classical music station about a year later it
came on all of the sudden and I recognized it from my NDE - it was something by
Beethoven and I have been trying to find it again ever since, but it must not be
one of his more common pieces of music, because I have never heard it again and
don't know how to find it except that it had a very memorable piano section that
was lively and high spirited.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes The life threatening event was that I was losing too much blood to remain conscious and I was too light headed to comprehend how dangerous my situation was.
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes there is no one word to describe it, I usually say something like :take every single positive word in the dictionary and that is what it's like, but being/feeling like a photon of light and thinking and being there as soon as I think of something sounds so sci fi that everyone thinks I was just dreaming.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I think that I was at my highest level of consciousness when I first thought about and went to the place that looked like Mongolia and that alertness stayed with me until I returned to my body.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It was TOTALLY different. First of all, I didn't believe in any after life and now I know that my spirit/soul will always exist, secondly I didn't believe in spiritual or sacred places on earth, third I didn't know that all the knowledge in the universe is accessible to all of us, and I am a very pessimistic, negative person in this life and I felt COMPLETELY the opposite over there, so I NEVER have had a dream/a day to day consciousness that is/was so positive, loving, blissful, rapture, pleasurable, sweet, kind, caring, like being basked and blanketed in love. I never feel that way here.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was sharper, brighter and surreal in that I saw many things very much like we do in time lapse photography. The clouds, the sun, the landscape - all changed color continuously depending on the cloud formation and the light. It was extraordinarily vivid and bright.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall much hearing because it seemed like all communication was telepathic, but the music in the concert hall was so magnificent that when I heard it a year later I instantly recognized it. I remember talking to some people and they were just talking in low,, sweet, kind considerate tone of voice.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes I later verified that otters use old beaver dens and that the music I heard was by Beethoven and my mother told me that my uncle Sydney had always wanted to play with Rubenstein and Bernstein. I did not ever look back at anything, including my body on the bed. When the bright light came dancing toward me I just wanted to go with it, there was no looking back because I just felt so happy and excited to go with this bright light, it felt almost festive,
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, bliss, kindness, ethereal beauty, understanding, patience, acceptance, gratitude, love, love, love, peace, it is really hard to describe perfection and being bathed in love, joy, happiness, calmness, peacefulness, and positive energy.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I felt like I was travelling through the cosmos. I have never had much interest in astronomy, but I knew I was out there in various galaxies
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I felt that all beings were present, a myriad, millions of beings 0 it didn't seem strange of mystical except that it felt like another universe or dimension that was so close to earth we could reach up and touch it but we just aren't aware that it's always there.
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my Uncle Sydney and Leonard Bernstein and Arthur Rubenstein and I also saw a friend of mine who is alive, but who believes in out of body experiences and that she can have them.
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
It didn't feel strange and it seemed normal and mystical at the same time. It was more like not knowing that this was here and discovering, kind of the way we know Mt Everest is there but until we go there and see it for ourselves we can not believe how enormous, powerful and spiritual that place is. So it was kind of like seeing one of the worlds greatest wonders and finding for myself how amazing it was. I just don't know how to describe it but unearthly sounds like ghosts and goblins to me whereas this was not scary at all, it was unfamiliar and strange and mystical, but only in the sense that I hadn't been there before.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Time seemed faster and at the same time it felt like all time was simultaneous, as if everything that ever was and is and will be was NOW, and yet time was always moving along like a river. Again, it is hard to describe, but I knew that my prior sense of time was an illusion and not the way it is in reality.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
I felt like I could understand everything if I chose to...it was like everything was right there. I compare it to an enormous buffet that had every kind of fruit, vegetable, cheese bread, etc and all I had to do was reach for it and I could have whatever I wanted.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes I don't know how I knew it, but I was absolutely certain that there is a continued existence after earthly life and I still feel that way and believe that to be true whereas before this NDE I din not believe there was any 'after life'.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Yes I felt that there was an enormous universal energy and that every single thing on earth had an energy and every star and cloud and every single thing had an energy and that all these things combined were the Universal energy or being and everything had a place or a form that they chose.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? Yes I felt that I had lived other lives and that I could choose to return to life on earth as a tree or an otter or a rock or a human or whatever I wanted, but that I really did not want to go anywhere else because I was so happy where I was.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Yes I felt a universal connection or unity but it didn't really seem mystical at the time, it just felt like this IS how it is, in retrospect it seems mystical or unearthly, but at the time it was just obvious that that is how it is, that everything is interconnected and it was plain and simple.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes I knew that love was the greatest force around us and that we are all love and love is the only thing that is real, that hatred and pain and hurt and all the negative things were not really the way it is, that we just create these negative thoughts/feelings/actions, but there is no place for these things in the real world which I consider to be where I went in my NDE...there is no evil there so I feel it is an illusion here and that there really is no evil.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? Yes Simply that we can all be very peaceful and happy that we will be able to feel this wonderful love and acceptance on the other side and that we are very lucky to die and return to a life of eternal bliss after living here and experiencing a lot of painful emotions and experiences.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes I know that all knowledge is accessible to me and that I can tap into this knowledge if I really want to.
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I never believed in life after death and never could conceive of such a joyous, peaceful, loving bliss that is on another plane of existence right here.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember everything very vividly, more than anything I have ever experienced...the music, the colors, the otters,, the bright light, everything is etched into my brain.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: I went through a long period of depression because I did not want to come back. I was no longer afraid to die so I considered suicide more often and knew that I would be going to a better place. I no longer had any fear of dying.
My experience directly resulted in: Moderate changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes I now believe that my spirit or soul will live on infinitely.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It is all meaningful to me, everything was extraordinary...unearthly.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
It is all meaningful to me, everything was extraordinary...unearthly.
there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or
significant to you?
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was so excited that I shared it right away, but nobody believed me so I stopped talking about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I absolutely knew it was real and I still know that I was on the other side. I know it was not a dream or a hallucination.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real I just know it happened just the way you know you had lunch or you just went skiing, it was absolutely what happened.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When I heard the music on the radio it was the same music I heard during my NDE, I had not ever heard it before but it was classical music by Beethoven and I recognized it from my NDE.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just that I feel very lucky to have a NDE and to now feel completely at peace about dying.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I think it is hard to put into words the feelings and realizations I had, they were like some profound changes in perception. Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire. Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you? To make more people aware of how common NDEs are and how many things they all have in common.
Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire. Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think it was very thorough.