EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I observed the body surrounded by surgical team, then the hospital from above,
then the AF base surrounded by wintering cornfields. Felt relief that the
physical ordeal was over, colored with some minor apprehension about family.
Quickly lost all sight of earthly environment, in space, not cold or
particularly dark or foreign, but somehow familiar and vaguely pleasing. Came
upon or was approached by familiar-seeming beings. Was hailed, hesitated
connecting, instead reflecting on life left behind, feeling anger and resentment
about the situation there leading to my ruined body.
Heard assurance that I
could return to a body that would be made serviceable, but reacted negatively,
not wanting to return to that situation. Was advised lovingly that this was my
choice, which mollified me somewhat, and was then taken more deeply into light,
thinking I was getting my wish and being taken home.
A life review of sorts
followed, though the physical life just left made up only the smallest part of
it. I seemed to be recalling (remembering) my self as a being prior to that
physical incarnation, a being of the same character as those now with me. The
recall was vivid. I had no doubt at the time of its accuracy. It was like
rousing from a dream. The restored memory included awareness that the choice to
return to physicality, though rightly mine, had been already made prior. I 'saw'
that I had previously known of and been in agreement with the plan to exit the
body as just occurred, for the purpose of rousing transcendent awareness that
would gradually unfold upon return. I 'saw' that most of the current vision
would fade upon return, but slowly return, in order that I could do what I had
gone there to do.
This vision of things of itself seemed to draw me back toward Earth. Some part
of me resisted, still wanting to stay, not wanting to return to the old
situation with memory once again dimmed. It seemed such feeling had no effect on
the transition, however. I was told not to fret, so to speak, that guidance
would come to me in increasingly recognizable form, from that point on, and that
I would at length become aware as I was then, even while 'in' the body. (It was
actually clear then, as it is now, that we aren't really 'in' bodies - they are
perhaps more like stiff mittens covering and restraining a tiny portion of
ourselves).
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No Principally, I think it has to do with the way language is structured
to denote or operate within 3D context. The challenge then seemed comparable to
devising mathematical representations of complex 3D objects using plane
geometry.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes Massive systemic infection associated with ruptured intestinal abscess.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
While in the light.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
While in the light.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes To a great extent, sensory input, though more vivid, seemed also merely
reflective of a deeper awareness requiring no perception, per se. Processing
this awareness initially included quite vivid perception, but attention soon
went to the deeper place where processing and communication could happen more
quickly and effectively.
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes See #8
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Described above.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes It was a little like exiting a dark theater while the movie was playing
into bright sunlight.
Did
you see a light?
Yes Lights were all around in space, clustered so closely together toward an
apparent center as to merge into a blinding apparent singularity.
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes Described above.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes Included in event description above.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes Often, the verification came before memory of the foretelling. Something
would happen, in other words, prompting return of the memory. This was not
something I felt able to discuss with anyone at the time, and I was inclined to
dismiss the phenomenon when it occurred at first.
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
Yes Perception seemed to become a basically reflective process. I felt
increasingly joyful as my sense of awareness seemed to return, and this prompted
some generation of perceivable beauty.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes More like an absence, or 'simultaneity'.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes Described above.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes It seemed impossible to venture beyond a certain point while holding or
harboring any negative (unloving) feeling. I recalled negotiating this in the
past, as a child, so it wasn't really a factor during the NDE.
Did
you become aware of future events?
Yes
I seemed aware of a field within which anything was possible, where
each person's intentions were allowed to play out (largely unconsciously). My
attention wasn't on any particular future outcome, as none seemed important.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes Such developments came over the next two or three years. At first, they
were unwelcome, scary. Gradually, I realized I wasn't simply losing my marbles,
and began studying other accounts of similar awakening (arousal), in efforts to
integrate the apparently separate realities.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I began sharing what I could recall beginning about a year afterward.
Reactions were for the most part negative. I was actually sharing more about the
paranormal stuff happening than the NDE at first, as it was more clearly
recalled.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes Not exactly. I was theoretically aware of some form of afterlife, and of
the apparent ability of some departed 'souls' to make themselves known to some
embodied individuals. My parents were interested in this and had some personal
experience with it, but I didn't, and was largely uninterested.
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was probably not real I mostly couldn't recall it at first.
What DID come to me seemed scary, and I put it out of mind as best I could.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
As
described above.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Verification occurred as described
above.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
generally have awareness of people as slumbering amnesiacs reflexively operating
meat marionettes (including, at times, myself).
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Uncertain
I
was raised in religion, but never bought into it.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes Many, somewhat described above. Some drugs prompted Jobs, but nothing as
deep. The deeper experiences came in lucid states, although sometimes I am (have
been) roused from sleep to experience them by agencies of non-material origin -
kind of like being inwardly shaken awake.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes To the extent seemingly appropriate.
